March 18, 2008
Checking Out
Sometimes I wish life came with the option of checking yourself out. Wouldn’t it be nice to just be able to pull yourself out of circulation for awhile and sit on an unused or perhaps even hidden shelf while you let all the dust that is in upheavals around you settle?
That’s where I am right now, and it’s a rough spot to be in. You feel helpless, especially when you are watching those around you, whom you deeply love, struggle to figure out up from down, left from right. You sob and break down in tears often … it probably doesn’t help that you are overly hormonal … but you are to the point where you are numb and past feeling. You don’t even know what you are supposed to feel anymore. You don’t even quite know which direction to even pursue in life because it seems like you have been on never ending detours. No longer are you sure which path is even the correct one to take.
But you know you need to be still and somehow hold on to just an ounce of hope. You hear hope leads to faith so you need to hope that the light will eventually come. That somehow, some obscure and previously unforeseen path will finally be lit, even if it is just lit dimly.
And while you attempt to calmly and strongly wait for that beacon and ray of light, and while you attempt to be a strength to those around you, you struggle to hold on … to move on … to keep your chin up and pointing towards God. He does know what is best for you and for your entire family, but that doesn’t mean the road getting to that point is going to be easy. It is going to be thorny. It is going to be refining. It is definitely going to build character.
And at times you will wonder why you keep putting one foot in front of the other. But that is when the Lord’s grace and tender mercies will come upon you, but you need to be the one to accept them and to hold on to them for all you are worth.
I am trying … I am really trying.
Image by Greg Olsen, “Be Not Afraid”
March 13, 2008
“Kneading” Energy Vibes
I am now halfway done with my second trimester, but I still seem to be waiting for that supposed energy burst to hit me … I don’t think it is coming anytime soon. I think this whole daylight saving time change has me thrown for a loop. And I am sure the stress from all the dissertation woes definitely isn’t helping either.
Regardless of the reasons, I still love to nap every moment I can … that is when my three year old little man allows me to. Today, though, I did have a little, tiny spark of an energy surge. Enough so that it made me get all domestic to make homemade bread. I think my craving for carbs had something to do with this getting accomplished.
If you lived closer, I would share a slice or two. Warm bread with honey and butter … pure heaven!
March 10, 2008
Dissertation Woes
As many of you know, my husband and I have been married for nearly 10 years. Of those 10 years, he has been in school the entire time.
Honestly, this doesn’t bother me at all. I have always been 110% supportive of him getting all the education he needs. Currently he is in graduate school pursuing his doctorate degree in bioengineering.
However, by this time next year we are hoping that miraculously he will have earned his PhD and he will have a job lined up that he enjoys. But who knows what path God is going to direct us down. Right now we are just attempting to survive the next two weeks.
Before Rudy can successfully write and defend his dissertation, he needs to first pass a general exam. And in order to even take the general exam, he has to set up the date for that exam the quarter before he plans on taking it. Which means that by the end of this week he needs to somehow finish developing the mathematical equations he needs so he can finalize everything else before the quarter ends in a mere two weeks.
And if all the pieces of the puzzle don’t fall into place, then what? Do we take a leave of absence? Does he completely change courses to pursue a second Master’s? But what about his goal of teaching and doing research at a University? And at some point we need to move out of our teeny 2 bedroom, 800 square foot apartment, especially since a new little one will be joining us in the middle of July.
Can you feel our stress?!?!
We both feel completely overwhelmed, but we are trying to have faith and to remember that the reason we are even in graduate school is because we strongly felt like this was the path we were supposed to pursue.
I know I need to take a deep breath and remain prayerful and calm.
“Be still and know that I am God.” ~ D&C 101:16
March 6, 2008
Our Whirlwind Trip
We just recently got home from a six day whirlwind vacation to visit Rudy’s family. I suppose a better way to describe the trip is to call it a family reunion since this was the first time in nearly six years that we have all been together again. I even saw some of Rudy’s extended family that I had only met a couple of times and he and I have now known each other for 14 years!
It was definitely a jam packed family extravaganza with the baptism of a niece, the baby blessings of two nephews, and many long and enjoyable conversations as we all caught up on each others lives. I was even able to hang out with my younger sister and cousin who are attending BYU.
Eventually I will post some pictures of all the good times we had, but first I need to collect some photos from the ones who were snapping memories all weekend. However, here are a few pictures of us on Temple Square in downtown Salt Lake City. Can you tell how windy it was?
February 26, 2008
The Many Detours In Life
This cartoon lives on my fridge so I can see it daily. I have no idea when I first clipped it out of a newspaper, it had to have been at least 10-15 years ago. But that’s not really my point.
My point is life is always going to be full of detours. In fact, often times I think most of my life is a detour. But that doesn’t have to stop me from being happy and enjoying the ride I have been given.
I CAN learn to be a “truly happy person.” And that stems from gratitude, balance and keeping the proper perspective.
“Life is just like an old time rail journey … delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” –Gordon B. Hinckley
February 22, 2008
Snips and Snails, And Puppy Dog Tails
It’s a Baby Boy
Due July 23, 2008
After enduring so many heart wrenching miscarriages, I have been really nervous about accepting this pregnancy even though it has been exactly what we have been hoping and praying for. Seeing him yawn today and move all around made it seem that much more real. It was also extremely reassuring to know that so far he looks healthy.
February 21, 2008
Friendship and Marriage
I just wanted to say a B*I*G thank you to all who commented on my post the other day. Sharing your words of wisdom and discipline insight were much appreciated. It also helped to know that I have so many supportive and caring friends out there. As cliche as it might sound, you are all truly amazing.
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I think it has been eons and then some since I last did a meme, but the other day the Duchess tagged me for the marriage one so I thought I would play along. After all, sometimes answering straight forward questions is much easier than writing a post of my own, especially when the writing progress is constantly interrupted by squabbling children. Someone has to be the referee.
How long have you been together? We will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this upcoming May.
How long did you date? (This response is a whole two or three posts in and of itself. Maybe this May I will write it all up. Until then, the Reader’s Digest version will have to suffice.) We met just a couple of days before our Freshman year of college. He liked me from the start, but in no way was I ready for another relationship after just getting out of one that wasn’t the best. So we hung out as “friends” for 7 months, or at least that was my explanation, and then we finally started dating. We ended up getting married after we had known each other for nearly 4 years.
How old is he? 31
Who eats more? Most of the time, he definitely eats more. He can eat all day long (he is a true garbage disposal), his sweet tooth is enormous, yet he never gains an ounce. Go figure.
Who said “I love you” first? He did. Before he said it, I had never even thought about it. Yes, I am a great romanticist - my how things have changed. However, not wanting to feel bad, I said it back. And then I realized I sincerely meant it.
Who is taller? Believe it or not, we are the same height, 5 feet 10 inches. OK, maybe I am a smidgen taller. So much for always wanting to marry someone taller than me
Who is smarter? Depends on the subject, but he is definitely a genius, hands down. I just love the fact that we enjoy talking about anything and everything and we always learn from each other.
Who does the laundry? I normally put it in the machines, but he always helps fold it and put it away. And he even puts all of his dirty socks and clothes where they belong. Yes, I know I am lucky.
Who does the dishes? Depends on who is not the laziest or busiest at the time, although he nearly always unloads the clean dishes with Keri’s help in the morning.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Me.
Who pays the bills? Me, but we frequently talk about our finances so he knows where all the money is going.
Who mows the lawn? I wish we had a lawn.
Who cooks dinner? Me. However, if I asked him to, I am sure he would.
Who is more stubborn? This is a scary question. We both are … our poor kids.
Who kissed who first? He definitely kissed me first.
Who asked who out? Him again. Aren’t I helpful?
Who proposed? He did … twice in one night!
Who is more sensitive? Me, but I like the fact that he isn’t afraid to cry.
Who has more friends? I would say we were equal in this department, but he will claim I have more friends.
Who has more siblings? Me. There are 9 kids in my family and 4 in his.
**Feel free to play along. Let me know if you do, though, so I can come see all your answers.**
February 19, 2008
The Cool-Off Corner Revisited
Nearly 7 months ago I wrote a post entitled, “Works-For-Me: A Cool-Off Corner, Not Just A Time Out.” Since then this post has been viewed nearly 4,000 times.
I have really enjoyed the commentary that has followed this post, but recently I got an interesting response from “A Concerned Mom.”
I believe in teaching children to take responsiblity for his or her actions. I have found that this has helped my children make better decisions at an early age. I am concerned when reading this article that it doesn’t truly deal with the real problem. It doesn’t teach a child boundaries nor to respect himself or others. I have found that a quick little one two tap on the bottom works wonders and then sitting them in time out (with no perks to play with) to think about their wrong behavior. (If you don’t believe in a little tap or have a tendancy to not be able to control yourself then don’t do the tap on the bottom.) Just sit them in time out (with no perks). I have found that if I’ve reached my boiling point it’s because I as a parent have let it go on to long before dealing with my child. I always talk to my children after and help them to see their wrong behavior and make them say their sorry to mommy. Then I hug and kiss and say I forgive you and they go away happy and understanding that their behavior is not acceptable. Otherwise if they just sit in time out until they are happy and playing with all their cute little goodies you have just enabled them to continue on with their negative behavior. They have not learned their lesson, they haven’t realized that their behavior is wrong. Of course their happy because there were no consequences for their behavior . They got to sit there and play like nothing happened. Guess what! THEY WON - YOU DIDN’T! Think about it.
I don’t know if she only skimmed what I wrote, but I was a little taken aback by what she had so say about my supposed lack of parenting skills. Her last few sentences really threw me for a loop. I completely understand and respect the fact that we all parent our kids in different manners. I assume that we all normally try and find what works best for our personality and for the personality of our little ones.
And of course it is all about teaching respect. I expect my kids to respect me, and I in turn expect myself to respect my children.
Here’s what I had to say in response:
Dear Concerned Mom,
I, too, firmly believe in teaching my children to take responsibility for their own actions. I just choose to take a more positive approach to help them learn to change their behavior and manage their emotions that they are just beginning to learn to understand.
In no way am I allowing them to win because there is no battle we are even fighting. I am just helping them to realize that their behavior is not acceptable and there is no better way to get children to think in a positive manner than to do it on their own terms and in a nonthreatening environment. (Most of the the time, the kids don’t even play with their “goodies” until after they have cooled down. And even then, their “goodies” are very simple, security and comfort toys, not their favorite playthings. Please reference the article again.)
Children and adults need to take ownership for their thoughts and their actions. When they are done cooling off, we still talk about their behavior and help them accept proper consequences. Even us adults still need to learn to cool off in a positive and non violent way, especially since we don’t have other people to give us taps on the bottom or put us in time-outs.
Above all, each child is different and we as parents all need to find what works best in our family, while still positively respecting each other.
An Ordinary Mom
February 12, 2008
Happy Third Birthday, Cory
Dear Cory,
It is hard to believe that 3 years ago today I was in the hospital cradling you, my new 9 pound infant. From the moment I met you, I knew you would have a profound impact on my life, but little did I know how much you would teach me in just a few short years.
Your spirited and energetic personality is teaching me to be more patient, more patient than I ever thought I could become.
Your lack of responding to typical discipline tactics is teaching me to learn to think outside the box. It is teaching me to be more creative and flexible.
The way you march to the beat of your own drum is teaching me to be more open minded, less critical and less judgmental. It is also teaching me how to not care what other people think.
Your silly sense of humor is teaching me to laugh more and teaching me how to enjoy the monotonous moments in life every day.
Your sweet and gentle smile and your big, accepting heart are teaching me to love more and how to be more grateful to the Lord for all the tender mercies he continually bestows upon me.
Although there are several days along the way where I wonder how I am ever going to survive your journey into adulthood, I am so grateful that my loving Heavenly Father chose you to come into our family.
All my love,
Mommy
P.S. As much as I love you, though, I won’t mind at all if you could somehow manage not to get sick anymore. You waking up at 4:10 in the morning with a horrible sounding croupy cough where you were having trouble breathing was NOT the way I envisioned starting off your special day.
February 10, 2008
Back To Menu Plan Monday
It has been a couple of weeks since I last participated in Menu Plan Monday, mostly because our home life got a bit discombobulated with all the sickness that was plaguing our family. Hopefully, though, good health will now bless our house.
Monday: Red Sauce Enchiladas and veggies
Tuesday: Sweet and Sour Meatballs, rice, veggies and a special birthday dessert for Cory’s third birthday
Wednesday: Leftovers
Thursday: HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! (We will probably do take-out from somewhere so I don’t have to cook 
.)
Friday: Clean out the fridge day
Saturday: Thai Chicken Wraps and fruit
Sunday: My Day Off
For more dinner ideas and Menu Plan Monday participants, please visit Laura of I’m An Organizing Junkie.
Have a LOVELY week!
February 7, 2008
Much Ado About Books
Back in high school, one of my all time favorite films was “Much Ado About Nothing.” The constant and quick, clever wit in this movie had me immediately hooked. This was, and still is, one of those films I could watch over and over and over again.
Consequently when I found out that Annette Lyon’s newest historical romantic fiction, “Spires of Stone,” was based on this famous Shakespeare play, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a copy … I am glad she sent me one. She even added her own touch and twists to the plot when she decided to set her story in Salt Lake City during the late 1860’s while the Salt Lake Temple was under construction.
Let me tell you, this book wasn’t disappointing. It was simply captivating.
It is no wonder that Annette Lyon was Utah’s 2007 Best of State fiction medalist. Her way with words is more than incredible. She is able to weave such fascinating tales that she literally draws you right into the minds of her characters. In fact, you feel like you have known them forever.
I must admit I was somewhat disappointed when I finished the book because I wasn’t ready for it to end. My addiction hadn’t been completely fed. I sincerely hope there is going to be a sequel to this novel.
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“Shaye Kendall, an Olympic-bound swimmer, has been in the witness protection program ever since she witnessed her boyfriend’s murder. She now has a new name, a new life, and strict orders not to reveal her secret.
But fitting into a community is hard when you can’t tell people anything about yourself. When she learns that one of her new friends, Matt Whitmore, is LDS, she can’t even tell him that she’s a Mormon too. She doesn’t dare get involved. The fact that Matt’s father is a high-profile senator could give her the kind of exposure she doesn’t need. How can you fall in love when you can never reveal who you really are?
But when someone almost takes her life, Shaye recognizes that whoever is after her knows exactly who and where she is.”
This is the synopsis for Traci Hunter Abramson’s first novel, “Undercurrents.” It is a super fast read, full of suspense, and very well written. She definitely knows how to weave a realistic yet thrilling tale, which is exactly what I prefer. It was definitely no surprise to find out she actually used to work for the CIA for several years. No wonder her plots seem so authentic and believable.
Since this first novel was released, there have been two sequels that continue the intriguing storyline, “Ripple Effect” and “The Deep End.”
If you are looking for a new mystery series to read or a new author to strike your fancy, I highly recommend these books.
