Dear Rudy,

It’s hard to believe that ten years ago today we exchanged wedding vows and began our new life together united as one. On our wedding day I remember being thrilled to finally be married. We had met nearly four years before that time, and very early on in our relationship you and I both had an inkling that we would be spending eternity together … even if we were afraid to mention it to each other.

And ten years later?

As cliché as it may sound, I am even more happy than I ever could have possibly imagined. Yes, I know, we have definitely had our ups and downs over the years as we have learned to communicate more clearly and effectively and as we have learned to find a good balance between compromise and just understanding each others needs better, but I certainly feel like we have always been making steady progress in an upwards trend. Marriage is definitely hard work, but just like motherhood it is so very worth it.

“Marriage demands work. A happy marriage exacts the very best of us. Yet above all, maintaining a successful marriage is a choice.”

~ Janette K. Gibbons

You are the perfect complement to me and I feel like we tend to bring out the best in each other. I also find it comforting that when I am having a down and off-my-rocker kind of day (or week or month), you are positive, stable, patient and encouraging. And when it is the other way around, I do the same for you. I feel extremely blessed that we are able to do this for each other. I definitely know the Lord is continually watching over our marriage.

I know when we first got married and went on our relatively low budget honeymoon to Palm Springs, we dreamed of doing something big for our ten year wedding anniversary. We had dreams of Hawaii or Europe or a Caribbean vacation on some exotic and relaxing beach without any kids tagging along.

Of course we had always assumed you would be long done with school and that we would be in a more comfortable position in our lives, but that is not the case. And quite honestly, it really doesn’t matter at all to me. Maybe in the next couple of years we will finally be able to make one of those dreams a reality, but for now I am just grateful that we are still happily together and that we get to celebrate such an incredible milestone.

Thank you for being you and thank you for making me the most important thing in your earthly life. I cherish our friendship, our relationship and our marriage. I always will.

I love you more than I could ever adequately describe and I look forward to my love growing even more deeply for you as we continue to live the rest of our lives together.

All my love,

Lucy

“In speaking of mothers generally, I especially wish to praise and encourage young mothers. The work of a mother is hard, too often unheralded work. The young years are often those when either husband or wife—or both—may still be in school … Finances fluctuate daily between low and nonexistent. The apartment is usually decorated in one of two smart designs—Deseret Industries provincial or early Mother Hubbard. The car, if there is one, runs on smooth tires and an empty tank. But with night feedings and night teethings, often the greatest challenge of all for a young mother is simply fatigue.

“Through these years, mothers go longer on less sleep and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any other group I know at any other time in life. It is not surprising when the shadows under their eyes sometimes vaguely resemble the state of Rhode Island.

“Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Husbands—especially husbands— … and friends in every direction, be helpful and sensitive and wise. Remember, ‘To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.’

“Mothers, we acknowledge and esteem your faith in every footstep. Please know that it is worth it then, now, and forever.

“One young mother wrote to me … ‘Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him. I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and meaning in being a parent, even if some of His children make Him weep.’

“In light of that kind of expression, it is clear that some of those Rhode Island–sized shadows come not just from diapers and carpooling but from at least a few sleepless nights spent searching the soul, seeking earnestly for the capacity to raise these children to be what God wants them to be. Moved by that kind of devotion and determination, may I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful … if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do.

“When you have come to the Lord in meekness and lowliness of heart and, as one mother said, ‘pounded on the doors of heaven to ask for, to plead for, to demand guidance and wisdom and help for this wondrous task,’ that door is thrown open to provide you the influence and the help of all eternity. Claim the promises of the Savior of the world. Ask for the healing balm of the Atonement for whatever may be troubling you or your children. Know that in faith things will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of you.

“You can’t possibly do this alone, but you do have help. The Master of Heaven and Earth is there to bless you—He who resolutely goes after the lost sheep, sweeps thoroughly to find the lost coin, waits everlastingly for the return of the prodigal son. Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.

“Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And ‘press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.’ You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, ‘Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.’ And it will make your children whole as well.”

~ Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is A Mother”

I know this is a rather long quote … OK, it is more like half a talk … but these words, simply put, speak to my heart.

They inspire me to want to be the mother I know I can be. They reassure me that I am doing the best that I know how. They give me the strength and courage I need right now to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

“Heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones.”

“Know that in faith things will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of you.”

Motherhood is hard work, but motherhood is so very worth it.

I hope everyone who is a mother, and everyone who longs to be a mother, has a very happy and wonderful Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day is only a few short days away and for once in my life I have no desire to celebrate it. In fact, I am kind of dreading it. It’s not because my husband or kids don’t make this a special day for me [in fact my sweet daughter has been writing me Mother's Day notes for the last two weeks now], it is more because lately I feel like I have been the world’s meanest and most irrational mom.  I am sure many of you can relate.

Currently my patience is non-existent, especially with three year old toddlers who refuse to listen and who wake up before 6 in the morning … even with blankets hung on the window and all night lights and clocks that glow completely removed from the room. When this baby arrives I worry more about Cory waking the newest one up as opposed to the other way around?!?

Right now it seems like I get frustrated at the silliest things and that I get on my kids cases for the smallest infractions. And because of this, I then become the yelly mom who feels guilty for being so short tempered.

I am tired of living in a small apartment where I feel like I am constantly on edge wondering if my kids who are just being kids by being somewhat loud and crazy are making too much noise for the cranky, cantankerous, complaining lady who lives below us.

I get tired of having to constantly remind the kids to use quiet feet and then I get so fed up of all the reminding … not to mention I also get lazy from all the reminding that goes in one ear and out the other … that I resort to the television. But then I get irritated because I feel like the TV is always on.

And no matter how many trips to the park and school playground we make, the energy my kids have is endless. I wish they could channel some of it to me.

OK.

Enough complaining.

I know deep down I am grateful for motherhood. I consciously and prayerfully made the decision to enter into this noble calling in life.

I feel extremely blessed to even have children that drive me insane. After all it has taken a lot of effort to get them here. And I know my life is so much easier than many others [at least I have food to eat, even if it does cost a lot, and at least a cyclone didn't tear apart the city I live in], but these raging pregnancy hormones and lack of spring sunshine are enough to drive any woman bonkers.

And to satisfy the minds of all those who keep emailing me wondering what I look like 7 months pregnant? Here you go.

Enjoy the spots on my dirty mirror .

Lara The Lazy Organizer is at it again. She is hosting yet another fabulous organizing bag giveaway!

Organize your receipts.

Organize your first aid kit.

Not exactly sure what an organizing bag is? Then let me briefly explain how you can better organize your life.

Lara personally designed these bags to help her keep her life organized. They come in 5 convenient sizes, including extra small and extra large, and they are very reasonably priced. These bags are ideal because they take up less space than boxes and bins and you can even hang them on hooks to utilize wall space.

What can you put in these bags? The possibilities are simply endless.

• Organize your computer cords and cables.
• Organize your make-up.
• Organize your arts and crafts.
• Organize your pens, pencils and other office supplies.
• Organize an emergency child kit for your car - change of clothes, Advil, snacks, little toys and wipes.
• Organize your toiletries on a trip.
• Organize the odds and ends in your junk drawer.
• Organize items you buy in bulk (toothbrushes, t*mpons, gum, medicine, batteries, etc.)
• Organize homeschooling items such as play money and flash cards.
• Organize your games and kids puzzles.
• Organize your change.
• Organize your scrapbooking supplies.
• Organize your knitting.
• Organize your thank you cards.
• Let your kids organize the toys they take in the car.

Have you caught the organizing bug yet? Hopefully you have.

So how can you win your own set of free organizing bags? Merely click on over to The Lazy Organizer’s blog and leave a comment per her fun “baby” instructions on her organizing bag giveaway post.

Lara will choose a winner on Friday, as long as she is not in the hospital giving birth. This contest is open to both US and Canadian residents and you may enter the contest with a comment even if you don’t have your own blog.

Or if you want to purchase your own bags, click here or click on the lovely “Organizing Bags” button in my sidebar and you will be taken to a site where you can get your very own.

Happy Organizing!

Here’s to hoping that my current bout of sleep deprivation is at an end … at least until July 17th. For the last three nights Cory has finally learned to go to sleep in his big boy bed rather peacefully and quickly. The catch? We had to take away his afternoon naps. What a sad day for mom!

However, we have now instituted afternoon quiet time in our house. That means Cory has to play in his room, by himself, with the door shut (there is a door knob guard conveniently placed on the inside of his door so he can’t escape and interrupt my quiet time) for a couple of hours. He still fights me a little on this one (read: he will occasionally toss toys against the closed door and exclaim, “No quiet time. No want quiet time!” - I just choose to ignore him) but for the most part he complies. I honestly don’t know what I would do without this time to regroup every day. I also think it is good for him to have some independent play time.

So I want to say thanks to all my friends out there who gave me advice and offered me much needed empathy as we went through the dreaded process of transferring Cory from his crib to his bed. You definitely lent me strength to successfully make it through the process!

I also wanted to say thanks to my good friend Becky for sending me this incredible purse she made just for me … isn’t it a beauty?! She is definitely one talented woman and I miss the fact that she doesn’t live close by anymore.

And I must thank my mom, too, for sending me this gorgeous ladybug blanket set (blanket, silkie, burp rag and onsesie) that she crafted. No it is not a present for the upcoming baby, she sent it just for me because yellow is my favorite color and one of my favorite classes in college was Entomology (Bug Collecting).

What has brought some sunshine into your life lately?

Last Saturday evening we finally bit the bullet and transfered Cory to his big boy bottom bunk bed.

The verdict? He is absolutely thrilled by his new personal space.

The problem? He more than glories in the new found freedom this bed provides.

The parents? We are just a tad bit frustrated, but we knew from the beginning this would be a long and tedious process.

Sleep deprivation when you are nearly 7 months pregnant is not a fun thing to endure. Your body is already utterly exhausted to begin with. The last few nights where I have only received three or so hours of sleep has been rough. During the day I feel like I am walking through a thick fog, and while driving around town I feel like I could just close my eyes and sleep at the wheel. Yeah, I know, not very safe. I knew to expect to be sleep deprived once the newborn arrived, but I wasn’t very prepared to hit this particular bump in the road a few months early.

I also know the problem is made worse because I feel out of balance in life. Late afternoons and early evenings tend to be my worst part of the day with the kids, the “witching hours” as I have dubbed them. Needless to say I always look forward to bedtime as it usually brings some much needed peace and quiet. However, this last week my evenings have been spent in the dark on the floor of the kids room as we try to sleep train our spirited 3 year old.

Each night is getting a little better … I use that term very loosely … but it is hard not to be able to unwind in the evening and to have my personal time. Having daily personal time I think is absolutely essential to the sanity of any mother.

I know that this, too, shall eventually pass and I know sometimes I can be hormonally irrational, but that doesn’t mean that this particular trial in life is going to be made any easier. I still need to get through it. I just keep praying to the Lord for the strength I need to survive each day so I can try to be a loving mother and wife.

And of course this situation has made me a little bit more apprehensive about what life is going to be like once this new one arrives in July. The transition from one to two children was doable for me because Keri has such an easy going disposition.

However, with Cory being so much more rambunctious and energetic, I am not quite sure what to expect in the transition from two to three. I welcome any advice you would like to kindly share!

Thanks to my sister-in-law who always captures fabulous photos!

Recently I was bit by the spring cleaning/pregnancy nesting bug. I thought it would never happen. I am sure the bit of sunshine that briefly made its presence known in the western regions of Washington helped a ton.

Since I didn’t know how long this fleeting moment of pseudo energy might last, I knew I better take full advantage of it. Thankfully it stuck around for a few days so I could get lots of purging done in our apartment as we attempt to make room for our soon to be third little one. There were many loads of things donated to charity. I was greatly relieved to get these massive tasks done because they have been looming over my head for the past several months.

Next on the to-do list?

I need to transition Cory from the crib to the bottom bunk bed. I must admit I am not looking forward to the freedom this will give him. I LOVE having him contained at night and in the morning. Yes, I know I am more than extremely lucky that he lasted this long without wanting to climb out of his nightly prison.

And on a completely different topic, I recently attended a Women’s Conference where this quote was given. I have heard these powerful words of wisdom on other occasions, but for whatever reason, this time they just seemed to pierce my soul differently.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

So stand tall, stop doubting yourself and your talents and skills. Let your light shine and give others the “permission to do the same.” Just think of all we could accomplish if we would stop judging ourselves and others.

“There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each has different challenges, different abilities, different skills and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother in each family.” ~ M. Russell Ballard (LDS General Conference, April 6, 2008, PM Session)

This statement truly hit home for me. How often do we compare ourselves and our children to the other mothers and kids around us in our neighborhood, or at work, or at Church, or in our friendships and families or even in the blogosphere? I know I inadvertently do it more than I should.

But this quote spoke to my heart. It reassured me and brought me peace that I personally know, along with my husband and the help of the Lord, what is best for me and my precious little ones.

We all need to learn to better trust our own mother’s intuition, not what is said around us. Sure it can be helpful to glean as much information as we can from other sources, but don’t forget to tailor it to your own individual family.

“There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.” ~ M. Russell Ballard

While helping Keri with an at-home school art project, I reminded her not to forget to do something. A few minutes later, she realized on her own that she still hadn’t done what I had already reminded her to do.

She then promptly and matter-of-factly exclaimed, “Oops. I’m just like Daddy. I forgot to do something.”

I laughed pretty hard, especially when I retold the story to Rudy later.

Apparently mommy’s never forget anything .