Mary, The Mother Of Jesus

This is perhaps, one of my all time favorite Christmas scriptures:

“But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” ~ Luke 2:19

It speaks to me.

It pulls at my heartstrings.

It is especially poignant for me this Christmas season as I cradle my own babe in my arms, and since this is undoubtedly our last little one, it is that much more special.

Without fail, this verse always evokes the most tender emotions in me.  It makes me want to be a better person, in particular a better mother.  A mother who is more patient and nurturing, one who is less reactive and explosive.

This scripture also makes me want to be a better wife, a better sister, a better daughter and a better friend.  It fills me with a fulness of joy.  It fills me with charity, which is indeed the pure love of Christ.  “The Christmas spirit is the Christ spirit.” ~ President Thomas S. Monson

And because this is one of my favorite scriptures, it probably helps explain my deep adoration for all things dealing with the Nativity.

I can’t get enough of the perfect emotion and pure love and affection that these artists capture in their masterpieces.

“The spirit of Christmas is something I hope all of us would have within our hearts and within our lives, not only at this particular season, but throughout the years.” ~ President Thomas S. Monson

Gentle Reminders

Watching and listening to General Conference is always so good for my soul. It provides me with 8 hours worth of spiritual enlightenment.  It strengthens my resolve to be a better wife, a better mother, a better sister, a better friend, a better daughter of God.  It encourages me through gentle reminders to be doing things I know I should be doing.  General Conference helps reboot my soul.

Here are a some of the valuable lessons, doctrines and principles I either learned or relearned this weekend.

• Memorized scriptures can be our “friends” for their priceless words will help us with our big and small “emotional challenges.”
•  The Spirit can satisfy and fill the vacuums in our life.
• We don’t always have to plan a meeting to rescue a soul.
•  The voice of the Spirit comes more as a feeling than a sound.
• We’re never far from the side of the Lord.
• The universe was built for us “ordinary” people.
• Things happen in an “inspiring sequence.”
• The Spirit of Elijah is for our past and present family.
•  Motherhood is not a hobby where we collect cute kids and where we find time to squeeze them in – motherhood is what God gave us time for.
• Not using our time wisely is a close cousin to idleness and just because we are busy doesn’t mean we are being productive.  (I loved learning the fact that Hyrum Page ground his false peeping stone to dust.)
• We need to be the master of our time and not let distractions rob us of this precious commodity.
• We need to “look up” to God always.
• We need to “wait upon the Lord” and remember that hope and trust are part of the wait.
• The best gift a father can give his daughter is to love her mother.
• Names are important.
• Don’t leave $5 bills in your jean pockets.
• It is our privilege to help gather Israel.
• We need to be “real” people.
• We teach people, not lessons.
• Missionaries are great “treasures.”
• Remember that the Lord wants to bless us, but He won’t infringe upon our agency so we must ask in prayer for His help.
• “Prayer is a passport to peace.”

And one of my favorite quotes from this conference was given by Elder Robert D. Hales:

“His angels are here and beyond the veil and
round about us to bear us up.”

Such powerful words.  Such powerful imagery to lift us up when despair and discouragement engulf us, either when we are stuck in the monotony of life or if we are attempting to endure or overcome a great tragedy.

Now I need to remember what I have learned from this round of conference and I need to ACT upon the many promptings and gentle reminders I have been graciously given.

Refueling My Soul

Soaking up General Conference this weekend was exactly what my soul was yearning for … though when you have “bedlamites” in the home (a.k.a. little ones), sometimes it takes more patience on your part to hear what you need to hear.  [However, since Little Eli came down with a fever this weekend, it made it easier to listen because all he wanted to do was snuggle and watch General Conference.  He even kept shushing Cory when he got too loud .]

My heart and mind learned  … or maybe re-learned is a better word … many amazing principles during my refueling.  The “future is as bright as your faith.”  “Women are incredible.”  We need to learn to “behold your little ones.”  There is a difference between being and doing.  We need to have more charity and compassion.  Our desires become priorities, which in turn determine our choices, actions and who we become.  There is a difference between Parenting 101 and Parenting 505. And the list goes on and on.

One quote in particular that really stood out to me was shared by Elder Quentin L. Cook on Saturday morning:

“No woman should ever feel the need to apologize or to feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children.”

Maybe it is because I am currently pregnant with our fourth child (and sometimes I get “interesting” looks from people when they find out it is my fourth … a hesitant congrats sometimes gets squeaked out), but this statement was very profound for me.

Now the key for me is to take what I have learned and apply it to my daily life.

Flipping it Around

Many of us are familiar with the phrase found in Doctrine and Covenants 82:3 which states:

“For of him (or her) unto whom much is given much is required.”

I think if we flip that phrase around, we also will find a powerful and divine truth.

For unto him (or her), of whom much is required, much is given.

The Lord will never ask us to do more than what we can.  He will never abandon us and ask us to carry our load and burden by ourselves.

We must trust in Him and in His ability to help.  We must fully accept and embrace His atonement.  We must live with hope, optimism, obedience and faith.

He will give us the strength and endurance we need to accomplish all that He asks us to accomplish.

If He gives us a trial, He will also provide the way to successfully conquer it.

The Road Show

To be completely honest, I am not sure how I grew up in Los Angeles as a member of the LDS faith without ever participating in a road show!?  Most of my older siblings were in some, but for whatever reason, when I was finally old enough there was a road show drought.

Regardless of my lack of road show experience, I still readily enjoyed Braden Bell’s first novel entitled The Road Show. It was uplifting and full of hope.  It was a quick and enjoyable read, a book that made you want to finish before setting it down.  In fact, I often read while I am on the elliptical trainer and bike at the gym, and I added more time to my machines so I could read longer. I even stretched for a few extra minutes so I could finish the last eight pages.

One of the first things that pulled me into this book was the scripture shared at the very beginning, Isaiah 61:1-3, one of my all time favorite scriptures.

The  Spirit of the Lord God  is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

“Beauty for ashes” – I knew there would be depth to this book with this kind of introduction.  “Beauty for ashes” is such  magnificent imagery.  And it is the perfect way to describe the power of the atonement.

Even though this book fits the genre LDS Fiction, don’t let that scare you.  This book is well written and the characters well developed.  Any Christian would appreciate this book.  Many would call this book life changing.

The Road Show deals with a plethora of heavy topics – addiction, sin, depression, health problems, loneliness, pride – but it is written in such a way that the reader can relate to nearly all of the characters’ imperfections.  It is easy to see yourself in them.  And if you don’t see yourself, then you can easily recognize your neighbor, a friend, or your sibling as the one who is struggling with a similar issue.

I am grateful that Braden didn’t sugar coat these topics either and make them seem as if they are easy to overcome. He wrote the book in a way that shows how hard these struggles are to defeat.

This book is about forgiveness, repentance, understanding the all-encompassing healing power of the Atonement (it is NOT just for sins!), and learning how not to judge others, especially when those judgments are often based on misconceptions and misunderstandings.

See for yourself if you want to purchase this book by reading the first few chapters online.

But be forewarned, you might get hooked.

And just for kicks, here is a brief interview I had with Braden Bell:

Me: What made you decide to have the power of the Atonement as a center point in your book?  Was there anything in your life experience that persuaded you to write on this topic?

Braden Bell: That’s a good question. The story came to my mind first, and then I began to see the healing power of the Atonement as the theme that unified all the different characters’ stories.  So, I began to try to develop the theme more explicitly, including using the scripture in Isaiah about beauty for ashes.  That’s always been one of my favorite scriptures.

In terms of my own personal experience, there were definitely things that have persuaded me to write on this topic.  As a very flawed mortal, I’ve had to draw on the Atonement many times myself.  But, during most of the time I was writing the book, I was serving as a bishop.  I saw people healed through the power of the Atonement–but I also saw people not avail themselves of that power and it made me incredibly sad.  I think the book grew in part out of my conviction as a recipient of Atoning grace, but also a bishop’s desire to see other people get the help that is possible.

Me: What would you like readers to take away from The Road Show?

Braden Bell: Above all, I hope it’s a good story well told.  I hope they like the characters.  But I would also be thrilled if they close the pages feeling a little more compassionate to people who struggle, and with a renewed hope in the possibilities the Savior offers us.

Me: I know you are an educator (I also used to teach before I had children).  What is an unexpected benefit you have gained from being a teacher?

Braden Bell: I had no idea how enriching and fulfilling it would be.  I had no idea how deeply I would love and be loved by my students.  There is a sweet and special relationship there (or at least there can be).  I’ve also learned a lot about the gospel as I’ve taught–insights here and there into various thing, particularly the nature of God.

Me: What do you like most about teaching music?  Theater?  Do you prefer one over the other?

Braden Bell: I love them both.  I have more training and expertise in theatre, so I suppose I’m a little more comfortable there.  But I think I would be bored to death if I could only teach one of them.  I teach middle school, which is possibly the least musical age, at least vocally.  Physiological changes and social pressure make it a tough time for kids to sing.  So, the thing I love most is when I’m able to coax a student or a group past those limitations.  There are sublime moments when a chord or a passage or a whole song will be truly beautiful.  I get chills at those moments.  I love theatre because that is who I am.  It’s what I have done forever and what I will probably do until I die.  I love to watch the ugly ducklings become swans, to see confidence built, and to see a 13 year old nail their performance in a way that surprises their friends, the audience, and especially, themselves.

Me: Do you prefer writing over teaching?

Braden Bell: No.  I feel like they are each different sides of the coin of my personality.  I find that I need to do both to feel happy.  If I were to make millions of dollars from writing tomorrow, I suspect I would probably still feel the need to teach, at least part time.

Me: Do you still perform?

Braden Bell: Very rarely. I wish I could, but with family, work, and church, there just isn’t time.  I did take a cameo in one of our school plays last year and enjoyed it quite a bit.  I put pictures of myself in my cat makeup on my website in the “photo” section.

Me: What is it like to live in Tennessee?

Braden Bell: Tennessee is as close to heaven as we are allowed in this life, I think.  I really love it.  We live about 45 minutes out of the city in a quiet, peaceful place and every day, as I drive to and from work, the beauty and serenity fills my soul.  The people are wonderful.  I consider myself a Tennessean now–although I miss my family.

Happy Mother’s Day

“A widow with her mite taught us how to tithe. An impoverished and starving widow with her hungry son taught us how to share, as she gave her meal and oil to Elijah. The divine maternal instincts of an Egyptian woman retrieved Moses from the bullrushes, thereby shaping history and demonstrating how a baby is a blessing—not a burden. …

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?  When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this.” ~ Neal A. Maxwell

To all the lovely women of the world, I hope you have a blessed and Happy Mother’s Day.

Finding Peace and Balance By Choosing A Healthy Lifestyle

In today’s society, especially with the media and the ever present entertainment industry, it is easy to become obsessed and overly preoccupied with body image.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my own health and the lifestyle I currently lead … partly because of some blog posts I read here and here, partly because I have a MRI scheduled for next week, but mostly because I know it ties into having a calm, peaceful, alert and not-so-quick-to-react demeanor (I have been insatiably craving these attributes lately) for indeed the body and spirit unite to form a soul.

Consequently I have been taking a personal health and wellness inventory.  Am I exercising?  Am I exercising for the right reasons?  Do I make healthy food choices?  Do I emotionally eat?  Am I teaching my children how to take care of their bodies in a positive and healthy manner?  Am I teaching my children and family how to find balance in their lives?  Do I get enough sleep?  Do I take care of the body I have been blessed with?  Do I show my gratitude to my Father in Heaven for the gift He gave me or do I covet other body shapes and sizes that I see around me?

I want to be a healthy me. I want to achieve an optimum level of health and wellness that is just right for me and tailored uniquely to me.  After all, taking care of our bodies should not be about being a certain size or weight or shape or trend.  And it definitely should not consume all of our time, thoughts and energy.  There is so much more to life than that!

I know I want to be more grateful for the body I have for it is a gift given to me by the Lord.  I want to be grateful that it works. I want to take care of it and not berate it and wish it looked like something or someone else.  I want to love and be grateful for who I am, for the talents and weaknesses I possess, for I know I am “imperfectly beautiful.”

Because my mind has been focused on health and wellness lately and how it affects my moods and how I treat others and myself, I decided to do some research on what it means to live the Word of Wisdom as found in Section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants.  I wanted to better understand the blessings that come from abiding by its precepts.  Here are many of the gems I found.  I think the last quote by Elder Perry is exceptionally powerful and that it sums up my findings rather well:

“The Word of Wisdom does not promise you perfect health, but it teaches how to keep the body you were born with in the best condition and your mind alert to delicate spiritual promptings.” ~ President Boyd K. Packer (Ensign, May 1996)

“This revelation has such far-reaching effects on so many aspects of our lives, and on the social behavior of those in our communities, that I firmly believe most of the ills of society today could be cured by the acceptance and observance of the Word of Wisdom… Surely the Lord gave a revelation and a promise for the benefit and blessing of his children.” ~ N. Eldon Tanner

“Bringing into your body substances forbidden by the Lord in the Word of Wisdom will prevent you from feeling and recognizing the promptings of the Holy Ghost.” ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

“What a blessing! What a blessing is the Word of Wisdom, that the Lord would set before His Church a pattern of living which would bless our lives.” ~ Gordon B. Hinckley

“The Lord’s commandments in the Word of Wisdom regarding the care of our physical bodies bless us first and foremost with ‘wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures’ (D&C 89:19). Furthermore, they lead to a generally more healthy life and freedom from destructive addictions. Obedience gives us greater control over our lives, greater capacity to come and go, to work and create. Of course, age, accident, and illnesses inevitably take their toll, but even so, our obedience to this gospel law enhances our capacity to deal with these challenges.”  ~ Elder D. Todd Christofferson

“Guard and protect [your body]—take nothing into it that shall harm the organs thereof because it is sacred. It is the instrument of your mind and the foundation of your character.” ~ Patriarchal blessing of Boyd K. Packer (“Ye Are the Temple of God”)

“I found in the Word of Wisdom a principle with a promise. The principle: Care for your body; avoid habit-forming stimulants. Such addictive things do little more than relieve a craving which they caused in the first place.  The promise: Those who obey will receive better health (see D&C 89:18) and ‘great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures’ (D&C 89:19).” ~ President Boyd K. Packer (“Ye Are the Temple of God”)

“We came to this earth that we might have a body and present it pure before God in the celestial kingdom. The great principle of happiness consists in having a body. The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man. … All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not.” ~ Joseph Smith (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 181)

“Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” ~ 1 Corinthians 6:19–20

“Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?  If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.” ~ 1 Corinthians 3:16–17

“When any unworthy desires press into your mind, fight them, resist them, control them (see James 4:6–8; 2 Ne. 9:39; Mosiah 3:19). The Apostle Paul taught, ‘There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.’” (1 Cor. 10:13; see also D&C 62:1) ~ President Boyd K. Packer (“Ye Are the Temple of God”)

“The Lord has commanded you to take good care of your body. To do this, observe the Word of Wisdom, found in Doctrine and Covenants 89. Eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. When you do all these things, you remain free from harmful addictions and have control over your life. You gain the blessings of a healthy body, an alert mind, and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. …  We do not want to harm our mortal bodies, for they are a gift from God, and part of our Heavenly Father’s great plan of happiness is the reuniting of our immortal bodies with our spirits.” ~ Elder L. Tom Perry  (“Let Him Do It with Simplicity”)

And even though the following isn’t a quote I found while researching,  it is still something that really struck a chord with me.  It is one of the comments I recently read on a blog post about health.  She said something simply profound in a very clear and concise manner:

I have struggled with eating disorders since I was a [young teenager] and I can confirm that the adversary wants us to be preoccupied with our physical appearance. The more we are consumed with the fleeting aspects of our bodies, the less we are able to feel the Holy Ghost and follow his promptings. And when we are focused on ourselves, we are not able to serve others as we should. ~ La Yen

Wow.  So incredibly true.

I now have a myriad of thoughts floating around in my head, thoughts about goals and choices I want to make so I can be more calm, peaceful, alert and not-so-quick-to-react, so I can be more healthy and well and so I can promote health and wellness in all aspects in my family.

But those goals and ideas will be saved for a later post.

AWOL, MIA and CA

I suppose after publishing 500 posts, one is entitled to a bloggy break.

Even if it was a bit unintentional.

It has been so long since I wrote a post, that I find I am struggling with writing. How do I form a sentence?  What voice do I normally write in?  How does this work again?  My brain is stuck in Facebook status update mode.  I have a feeling I am going to have to break myself back into blogging kind of slowly.

I definitely have missed writing.  It is therapeutic for me.  It keeps me grounded. It helps me process things. It gives me a broader perspective.  It reminds me of the purpose of life.  And lately I feel like I have needed a lot of reminding in that department.  (Perhaps the lack of blogging has made this problem worse?)

Our summer has been an adventurous one … boating, tubing, swimming, going to a “real” beach in California, hanging out with lots of friends and family, consuming way too much chocolate and calories in general [the new Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake, the red velvet one, packs in a whopping 1500+ calories a slice!], playing games galore, losing a laptop in the airport security lines and not realizing it until we landed at our destination [thankfully it was found and is in the process of being returned] … but I think my love affair for summer is coming to an end.

Though I am sure I will be longing for it again real soon.

I certainly love the warm rays and the plentiful sunshine it offers, but I am fondly looking forward to school starting up in a couple of weeks.  I think my body, heart and mind are craving a more predictable routine and schedule.

But I am grateful for the summer that has been.  Grateful we have had a good summer, even though I haven’t been the nicest or quietest mom lately.

I am especially grateful that just a few weeks ago, my precious daughter was able to celebrate her 8th birthday.

And on that very same day, she was able to get baptized.

In the same font I got baptized in.

And her loving Grandma, my mother, made her gorgeous dress.  She even made the sash by sewing lace onto the ribbon.

Consecration: A Partnership and Journey With The Lord

In my previous post, I mentioned the fact that I recently gave a talk in Church on the topic of consecration.  Some people expressed an interest in reading it, so here it is.

Beware, it is rather long … I was asked to speak for 15 minutes. If you don’t want to read all of it, maybe skim the quotes I used, mainly from President Uchtdorf and Elder Maxwell. They are powerful.

Happy Reading!

***********************************

When the Bishop emailed me and asked if I could speak on the topic of consecration, I thought, me?  Address the ward congregation about consecration? I felt and still feel wholly inadequate in this.  I am praying the Spirit will be with me as I share the thoughts I have prepared and that the Spirit will be with you as you listen to my message so you might be able to glean something of value which you can then apply to your own personal life.

The topic of consecration can be overwhelming, at least for me it can be.  It is a heavy topic, a topic that can be difficult to understand as you try to wrap your head around all the principles and doctrines it encompasses. Pondering it can cause your mind, heart and soul to stretch in dimensions that might be uncomfortable.  After all, the thought of living a fully consecrated life can be daunting.  This in turn can lead us to feel frightened and guilty that we aren’t living our life the way we should.  It can make us begin to wonder and question, am I even up to such a task? Am I worthy?  Am I capable?  These questions can then leave us feeling uneasy and can cause us to squirm in our seat.  Then perhaps after feelings like this, we might succumb to despair, one of Satan’s favorite tools.

But thankfully we have the gospel in our life and “the gospel is the good news of Christ.”  As President Uchtdorf described it in his most recent general conference address entitled “The Way of the Disciple,” the gospel is “a pearl beyond price, the grand key of knowledge that once understood and applied, unlocks a life of happiness, peace and fulfillment.”  President Uchtdorf then continued, “The gospel is the way of discipleship.  As we walk in that way, we can experience confidence and joy – even during times of peril, sorrow, and uncertainty.”

What a powerful blessing that is.  If we choose the gospel, that means we are choosing the way of discipleship.  And if we choose and live the way of discipleship that means the Lord will bestow upon us confidence, personal revelation and joy, even during, or should I say especially during, the times in our life when we are walking through the refiners fire.

When we think about the gospel in this simplified manner, it is probably relatively easy for all of us to at least desire to lead this kind of life so we can partake of these immense blessings.  By having such a desire, even if it is as tiny as can be, we can learn to become disciples of Christ and therefore learn how to consecrate the life we live fully to Him.

Our desire is the key beginning point.  As Elder Neal A. Maxwell eloquently states:

Everything depends—initially and finally—on our desires. These shape our thought patterns. Our desires thus precede our deeds and lie at the very cores of our souls, tilting us toward or away from God.  God can “educate our desires.” Others seek to manipulate our desires. But it is we who form the desires, the “thoughts and intents of [our] hearts.”

President Uchtdorf reiterates this theme when he exclaims:

The first step on the path of discipleship begins, luckily enough, in the exact place where we stand! We do not have to prequalify to take that first step. It doesn’t matter if we are rich or poor. There is no requirement to be educated, eloquent, or intellectual. We do not have to be perfect or well-spoken or even well-mannered.  You and I can walk in the path of discipleship today.

Each of us can possess this desire to become a disciple of Christ, and as we do so, we will begin our journey, a “race of endurance,” not a sprint, of consecrating our life to Him.

In 1992, Elder Neal A. Maxwell gave a general conference address entitled, “Settle This In Your Hearts.” It is a poignant and powerful talk that discusses discipleship and consecration in a very comprehensive manner.  He begins his remarks with the following:

Eighteen years ago from this same pulpit, I pled with those who stood indecisively on the “porch” of the Church to come fully inside. Today my plea is to those members already inside but whose discipleship is casual, individuals whom we love, whose gifts and talents are much needed in building the kingdom!

Any call for greater consecration is, of course, really a call to all of us. But these remarks are not primarily for those who are steadily striving and who genuinely seek to keep God’s commandments and yet sometimes fall short.  Nor is this primarily for those few in deliberate noncompliance.  Instead, these comments are for the essentially “honorable” members who are skimming over the surface instead of deepening their discipleship and who are casually engaged rather than “anxiously engaged.” Though nominal in their participation, their reservations and hesitations inevitably show through. They may even pass through our holy temples, but, alas, they do not let the holy temples pass through them.

What a firm, yet gentle and encouraging reproach of the way we should be patterning our lives.  We all have room to grow. We all have more we can do to cultivate our seeds of discipleship and consecration.  Not one of us is exempt.  We are all imperfect beings, but if we choose to fully accept the gift and grace of the atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives, we can embark on a partnership and journey with the Lord that will lead us to an honest and pure offering of discipleship and consecration, and that will eventually lead us to eternal exaltation.

So once we have found and planted our sincere desire, how then can we do as Elder Maxwell advised?  How can we “deepen” our discipleship and become more “anxiously engaged” as opposed to “casually engaged?”  There are a myriad of answers to this question, but today I would like to focus on three broad and general principles.  My hope is that we can each find a way to personally apply these points and thus transform our own lives so we may continually be able to “sing the song of redeeming love.”

My first suggestion on how we can deepen our discipleship and thus in turn our offering of consecration to the Lord is to adhere to the first principles and ordinances of the gospel as outlined in the fourth Article of Faith.  Moroni 8:25-26 additionally illustrates these powerful, yet basic steps of doctrine:

And the first fruits of repentance is baptism; and baptism cometh by faith unto the fulfilling the commandments; and the fulfilling the commandments bringeth remission of sins;  And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God.

President Uchtdorf further articulates the beautiful simplicity and formula of the fourth Article of Faith when he explains:

When we hear the transcendent truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ, hope and faith begin to blossom inside of us.  The more we fill our hearts and minds with the message of the risen Christ, the greater our desire is to follow Him and live His teachings. This, in turn, causes our faith to grow and allows the light of Christ to illuminate our hearts. As it does, we recognize the imperfections in our lives, and we desire to be cleansed of the depressing burdens of sin. We yearn for freedom from guilt, and this inspires us to repent.  Faith and repentance lead to the purifying waters of baptism, where we covenant to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ and walk in His footsteps.

To uphold us in the desire to lead a purified and holy life, we are endowed with the baptism of fire—the unspeakable gift of the Holy Ghost, a heavenly Comforter who accompanies and guides us as we walk in the path of righteousness.  The more we are filled with the Spirit of God, the more we extend ourselves to others. We become peacemakers in our homes and families, we help our fellowmen everywhere, and we reach out in merciful acts of kindness, forgiveness, grace, and long-suffering patience.  These are the first steps along the true way of life and fulfillment. This is the peaceable way of the follower of Jesus Christ.

Consequently, as we learn to literally “fill our hearts and minds with the message of the risen Christ,” we will naturally want to become better disciples of Him.  We will want to be more obedient.  We will want to more fully keep the commandments of God and therefore we will begin to lead a more consecrated life.  It is like a chain reaction, a domino effect.  We make good choices, we become better disciples.  But we must daily strive to make choices that point us in the right direction, the direction where we can keep our hearts and minds focused on the eternal perspective.  And when, not if, we make mistakes, we shall not fear, for we have been given the glorious gift of repentance, which gives us “beauty for ashes.”

The second suggestion I offer on how we can deepen our discipleship is we must constantly remember and abide by the covenant we made when we entered the waters of baptism.  This covenant can be found in Mosiah 18:9-10:

Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

We partake of the sacrament on a weekly basis to remind us of this very covenant we made.  We need to consistently remember this desire we had to be baptized, or this seed that has been planted within us. We need to keep it at the forefront of our hearts and minds. We need to act on it daily.  We need to “nourish” this seed with “great care, that it may get root” so it can grow and sprout and produce fruit, fruit that will enable us to consecrate our life to the Lord.  And as we learned from Elder David A. Bednar’s address this last general conference, one of the key fruits that will sprout from this baptismal seed is the desire to enter into the Holy Temple of the Lord where we will make even more sacred covenants that will further enable us to live a life of consecration.

My third and final suggestion on how we can deepen our discipleship to the Lord is to follow the words beautifully penned in 2 Nephi 31:20:

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.  Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

Increased consecration means to press forward with steadfastness in Christ.  That means we need to offer our full heart, our whole heart.  Elder Maxwell cautions us to not hold anything back. He states:

Some would never sell Jesus for thirty pieces, but they would not give Him their all either!  Unfortunately, we tend to think of consecration only in terms of property and money. But there are so many ways of keeping back part.

Elder Maxwell also remarks that:

Jesus pressed forward sublimely. He did not shrink, such as by going only 60 percent of the distance toward the full atonement. Instead, He “finished [His] preparations” for all mankind, bringing a universal resurrection—not one in which 40 percent of us would have been left out.

Pressing forward with steadfastness is a personal journey which requires personal introspection and personal revelation.  In order for us to receive such one-on-one revelation, we must be living an obedient life, a life where we diligently keep the commandments of God to the best of our ability so our hearts and minds can continually be receptive to the whisperings of the Spirit.  For we never know when these whisperings will present themselves.

I would like to share a personal story about pressing “forward with a steadfastness in Christ.” Some of you know that when Cory was a little over a year old we had some scares with his cognitive development.  He wasn’t speaking, he wasn’t pointing at things and his receptive listening skills were non-existent.  For several months we did not know what this all indicated.  We didn’t know if he had some developmental delays that would affect him his entire life.  It wasn’t until later that we learned he was just a late bloomer who likes to do things on his own terms and only when he is ready.

This whole experience, though, shook me to the core.  I couldn’t help but feel that for some reason this experience I went through with Cory was merely preparatory, preparatory in dealing with a future child of mine that might have severe special needs. However, I didn’t know if I had the capability and strength to raise such a sacred child of God.  Because of this fear, I believed I was done having kids.  Two was plenty.  But deep down in my heart I knew this conviction I had founded in fear was incorrect.

One day while I was studying the February 2007 Ensign, I read an article called “Ten Axioms To Guide Your Life” written by Elder Robert D. Hales.  He explained:

Consider, for a moment, that you are the engineer of a train. As your locomotive races down the tracks, you look out the window. In the distance you see a great pile of debris blocking your way. What do you do? Radio ahead for help? Stop the train and take care of the problem yourself? Pour coal into the engine and plow on through?

Like the engineer, we can call for help. By prayer, fasting, and diligent study, we can obtain the assistance of our Heavenly Father. He will comfort us, strengthen us, and enlighten us by His Holy Spirit. Often He will give us inspired counsel through parents and priesthood leaders. Sometimes He will smooth our path by removing the obstacle. Sometimes, like a switchman, He will help us get on a different track. But from time to time, the only way to clear debris from the track is to stop the train and remove the problem.

[Occasionally, though], there are times when Heavenly Father directs us to pour on the spiritual coal of faith and hope and plow ahead. Or, to use the more scriptural phrase, “press forward.”

What a remarkable image this seared in my brain.  That is what it means to “press forward.”  I had read this scripture on numerous prior occasions, but never before had I truly grasped the depth of what it signified. Immediately I was enveloped with a peaceful and warm feeling and I knew then that it was time.  It was time to set aside my fears on having more children.  It was time “to pour on the spiritual coal of faith and hope and plow ahead” full steam with a firm and abiding trust in my Savior and Father in Heaven that I could accomplish all They asked of me.

On this occasion the Holy Ghost was whispering to me. He was whispering to me personal revelation on how I could become a better disciple of the Lord.  The Spirit was teaching me how I could further consecrate my life.

It is my hope and prayer that each of us can find and follow our personal pathway of discipleship so we can all lead a more valiant life of consecration that is pleasing to our Redeemer.  We must remember to not allow Satan to get a hold of our hearts.  Otherwise we will become overwhelmed and discouraged by all we must do.

Elder Maxwell has proclaimed:

We “cannot bear all things now,” but the Lord “will lead [us] along,” as we “give place” in our thoughts and schedules and “give away” our sins, which are the only ways we can begin to make room to receive all that God can give us.

Increased consecration is not so much a demand for more hours of Church work as it is for more awareness of whose work this really is! For now, consecration may not require giving up worldly possessions so much as being less possessed by them.  Only when things begin to come into focus “with an eye single” do we see “things as they really are”! What a view awaits!

We are not meant to walk along this journey of discipleship alone.  The Lord is here to aid us.  He has told us to,  “Fear not, little children, for you are mine.”  Let us enter into a partnership with Him and journey along the path that He knows is best for us.

We must also keep in mind President Uchtdorf’s counsel, “discipleship is not a spectator sport.”  With personal revelation and through regular scripture study, sincere prayer and church and temple attendance the Spirit will tell us how we can best consecrate our life to Him, whether it be through service to our families within the walls of our own home, or hours put into our church callings which includes our home and visiting teaching, or other community efforts.

Discipleship is a process, a process that for most of us will take our entire life.  But we can do it, especially since we are supposed to progress line upon line, precept upon precept. This is the true gospel of wisdom and order.

The Lord loves us and He is holding each of us up and cheering each of us on.  He is patiently waiting on the other side of the veil with his arms wide open to encircle each of us once we are finished here with our earthly mission.  Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught us this principle with “clarity” when he said:

Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us—even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will.  “We [might] see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. . . .   “The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation. It takes us as men and women of the earth and refines us into men and women for the eternities.

I am grateful we have a loving Father in Heaven.  I am grateful we have a loving Savior who so freely gave each of us the gift of the Atonement.  I am grateful we have been given the plan of salvation and I am grateful for the direction this plan gives us.

I know if each of us chooses to become a true disciple of the Lord by sincerely taking His name upon us, we will indeed live a life of consecration that is pleasing unto Him.  Consecration isn’t just about pain and sacrifice, it is about faith, hope and charity.  It is about receiving blessings, joy, inspiration and revelation.  The Lord will surely bless us with innumerable tender mercies if we decide to journey in a partnership with Him.  I hope and pray we will all choose the correct path.

A Triumphant Easter

I hope and pray we all have a glorious Easter weekend and that we can each find a moment to quietly ponder the sacred and blessed event we celebrate so we can become more committed “disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

“My Child” by David Bowman

“One of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said, ‘I will not leave you comfortless. [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].’ …

“As we approach this holy week … may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ ‘at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death,’ for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone.” ~ Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “None Were With Him”

“Security” by David Bowman

“Consider the Lilies” by Simon Dewey

Happy Easter!

The School Saga

It is looking like the 11 year school chapter we have been living is coming to a close.  And it looks like this chapter might be finished once and for all.

There will surely be no more rewrites or footnotes or last minute revisions … or so it seems.  Why is it so hard to use the word never?!

It almost seems surreal.

A little over a month ago Rudy successfully defended his second Master’s degree.  Since then he has been working full time at the same university in a hired position.  Originally this position was supposed to open the door for him to still be able to receive his doctorate sometime during the course of the next year or so.  His employer/adviser was perfectly fine with the arrangement.

Of course we had to go through the formality of  applying for a “Leave of Absence” from the program.  We never gave it much thought.  After all, we assumed it was just another hoop to jump through.

But today we received the following notification:

The Student Affairs Committee met and deliberated at length regarding your petition. The Committee understood the reason for your request but decided not to approve it.

My heart kind of stopped when I read those words.

And when it started beating again it ached for my husband.  For his lost dream.

I never thought in a trillion years that this was where we would hit an impassable road block.

But we have.

For the most part we both think the Lord has now firmly shut the door on this part of our life.  The windows, too, have been permanently  painted shut.

It is true we might be able to pry open one of those windows with a chisel and a lot of hard work and determination, but I don’t think that is the path intended for us.

I feel like I have gone through a lot of personal growth during the last few weeks and months.  Many different things have been weighing on my mind, many things that have left me pondering and searching for answers.

But this last week or so the Lord has granted me some much needed peace.  He has shown me tender mercy after tender mercy.  He has sent me strength beyond my own, strength from Him and strength from angels.

I am definitely still processing the fact that this door has just been shut.  I have mixed emotions about certain things, but there is an underlying calmness that surrounds my soul.

I know my life and the life of my family is in the palm of the Lord’s hand.

The schooling ride we have endured these last 11 years has been much longer than we ever expected it to be.  We have learned many unexpected lessons along the way and we have also not achieved many things we thought we would achieve along the way.

But our trust is planted firmly in the Lord.

“This life is an experience in profound trust—trust in Jesus Christ, trust in His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those teachings for happiness now and for a purposeful, supremely happy eternal existence. To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning. To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience.

“To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it. We are like infants in our understanding of eternal matters and their impact on us here in mortality. Yet at times we act as if we knew it all. When you pass through trials for His purposes, as you trust Him, exercise faith in Him, He will help you. That support will generally come step by step, a portion at a time. While you are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that comes from being enlarged will continue. If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow. Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love. …

“How grateful I am personally that our Savior taught we should conclude our most urgent, deeply felt prayers, when we ask for that which is of utmost importance to us, with “Thy will be done” (Matt. 26:42). Your willingness to accept the will of the Father will not change what in His wisdom He has chosen to do. However, it will certainly change the effect of those decisions on you personally. That evidence of the proper exercise of agency allows His decisions to produce far greater blessings in your life. I have found that because of our Father’s desire for us to grow, He may give us gentle, almost imperceptible promptings that, if we are willing to accept without complaint, He will enlarge to become a very clear indication of His will. This enlightenment comes because of our faith and our willingness to do what He asks even though we would desire something else.

“Our Father in Heaven has invited you to express your needs, hopes, and desires unto Him. That should not be done in a spirit of negotiation, but rather as a willingness to obey His will no matter what direction that takes. His invitation, “Ask, and ye shall receive” does not assure that you will get what you want. It does guarantee that, if worthy, you will get what you need, as judged by a Father that loves you perfectly, who wants your eternal happiness even more than do you. …

“Try to understand those teachings not only with your mind but also with your heart. …

“The Lord’s plan is to exalt you to live with Him and be greatly blessed. The rate at which you qualify is generally set by your capacity to mature, to grow, to love, and to give of yourself. He is preparing you to be a god. You cannot understand fully what that means, yet, He knows. As you trust Him, seek and follow His will, you will receive blessings that your finite mind cannot understand here on earth. Your Father in Heaven and His Holy Son know better than you what brings happiness. They have given you the plan of happiness. As you understand and follow it, happiness will be your blessing. As you willingly obey, receive, and honor the ordinances and covenants of that holy plan, you can have the greatest measure of satisfaction in this life. Yes, even times of overpowering happiness. You will prepare yourself for an eternity of glorious life with your loved ones who qualify for that kingdom.” ~ Richard G. Scott, “Trust In The Lord”

I know from the bottom of my heart that I lead an abundant life.  And for that knowledge the Lord grants me, I am grateful.

How Well Can You Fly It?

“I have been flying many kinds of aircraft for the last 30 years, both in the United States and in Latin American countries. Not too long ago when I had returned to the [United] States after an absence of some years, a very dear friend offered me the use of his new [airplane]. …

“We discussed my qualifications of being covered under his insurance policy, and it turned out that I needed a check ride with a qualified inspector, as it had been some time since I had flown that particular type of plane.

“The arrangements were made, and I met the inspector at the side of the airplane at the appointed hour with my licenses from the USA, Argentina, Paraguay, and Ecuador, and logbooks showing flights in Cessna 310s across jungles, mountains, deserts, international boundaries, etc. He smiled calmly but was unimpressed and said, ‘I’ve heard about you, and I have no doubt about how much flying you have done, but I have to assume that those flights were when nothing went wrong. Now let’s fire up this bird and see how well you fly it when everything goes wrong!’

“For the next hour he made everything go wrong! He simulated every emergency he could think of. He turned things off that should have been on. He turned things on that should have been off. He tried to create disorientation or panic. He really wanted to know how well I could fly when everything did go wrong! In the end he climbed out, signed my logbook, and announced, ‘You’re okay. …’

“One of the purposes of this life is to be tested, tried, and proven to see how well we will serve the Lord. The Prophet Joseph [Smith] said that we would be tested to see if we would serve and remain faithful through all hazards. We knew before we came that there would be many adverse circumstances to test us: accidents, sickness, and disease to prove us; temptations and distractions to try us; disappointments, discouragements, reverses, failures, and all kinds of situations to determine our character. …

“The question still is: How well can you fly it when everything goes wrong? How well can you live when every test, every trial, every proof of your faithfulness is exacted of you?”   ~ Robert E. Wells

Right now I feel like I am in the middle of many of those “all kinds of situations.”

Disappointments?  Yes.

Discouragements?  Yes.

Reverses?  Yes.

Distractions?  Yes, yes, yes.

Like many of you, my husband and I are currently trying to juggle way too many spinning plates: trying to finish a second Master’s degree before Rudy’s funding is up on February 28th; trying to find a way for Rudy to still maybe get the PhD he has been working on for the last five years; managing and loving three young children in a very small apartment; serving in Church callings; trying to find a job; wondering if we should take a job that has been offered – the job itself is a dream job for Rudy, but the pay is horrendous.

My head hurts trying to even process all of this to explain it in a simple post.

But then on the other hand, if I pause for a brief moment, and just sit still … very, very still … I realize that my life is overflowing with blessings from the Lord. On a daily basis, on an hourly basis, He is granting me tender mercies.  He is strengthening me.  I can feel it amidst all the chaos.

But I need to hold onto these thoughts for it is these thoughts and flashes of insight that will sustain me through this crazy character building ride.

So how well am I flying right now through all these hazards?

I think I need to make some attitude adjustments.