Our Pi Celebrity

As many of you know, March 14th is pi day {3.14}.

Keri’s middle school held a 6th grade Pi contest in honor of the special day.

The night before the event, about 9:30 in the evening (and after she had finished up quite a bit of homework), Keri remembered she wanted to memorize as many digits of pi as she could so she could participate.   We went to this site and printed off the first five lines of digits, approximately 780 of them.  I then sent her on her way to get ready for bed.

By the time she came back upstairs to say goodnight, she had already memorized quite a few numbers.  I wasn’t overly surprised because she has a knack for memorizing things.  However, I was surprised when by the following morning she knew about 100(!) digits as she was getting ready to walk out the door for school. Holy smokes, girl!  Randy encouraged her not to memorize too many more because he didn’t want her to forget the ones she already knew.

In her math class, she faltered on a few numbers early on, but she still ended up knowing the most digits for her class period ~ 33.  This put her into the final that was to be held at the end of the school day.

By then she knew 108 digits.  However, when it was her turn to recite the digits she knew she needed to beat what she knew.  She guessed on the 109th digit and got it right and therefore won the competition (though she didn’t know she won until the last few students went).  The student who came in second knew 108 digits and the student who placed third knew 102 digits.

Keri called me immediately after school and ecstatically told me her fun news!  She even said some of her friends were calling her a school celebrity.

And yes, she won a pie for all her efforts !!  Go Keri!

“I’m so proud of her. One of my proudest moments, not because she won, but because she took the initiative and showed such determination. When she fell short in the first competition, she didn’t let it shake her.” ~ Randy

The 109 pi digits Keri can power through:

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058
20974944592307816406286208998628034825342117
067982148086

Some Firsts on the First Day of School

This year the first day of school brought some new firsts for us.

The 2012 school year marks Keri’s first year of middle school.  She is now in 6th grade.

I have known all summer long this new adventure was coming and it honestly didn’t phase me much.   It’s just a part of growing up.  However, the night before school started, my dreams and thoughts were all over the place with worries and fears.  This hit me a bit unexpectedly.

Would Keri have to eat lunch alone? Would she be OK walking to and from school?  Would she meet some good friends?  Would she be able to figure out her locker? Would people make fun of her? Would she drown in all her new responsibilities?  Would she be able to find her way around a new campus – especially since no one got their schedules until the morning of the first day of school (talk about brutal!)?

I was definitely feeling a bit conflicted.  On one hand I was excited for her to start this new phase in her life.  I wanted to see her spread her wings and flourish without me around as much, but part of me wanted to still protect her from the big, bad world.

But I didn’t need to worry for very long.  As soon as she got home after her first day of school, she bounded up the front steps with a huge grin on her face and loudly exclaimed, “Middle school is AWESOME!!”

Those words were music to my ears!

I was very impressed Cory got himself up and dressed so early.  He wanted to see Keri off to school even though his school didn’t start for another 2 hours!

She also had a pleasant surprise waiting for her that morning when she got her class schedule.  Without us knowing it, she had been accepted into Humanities Plus – an advanced Language Arts and Social Studies program. This is perfect for her because  she LOVES to write!

[Earlier in the summer we had been told that she was on the waiting list.  Long story short, the district hadn't given her credit for some of her test scores from our previous district.  However, instead of informing us that she had gotten in once they had all the proper information, they simply enrolled her in the block of classes without our knowledge.  But such is life.  We are just happy that she was so happy with this bit of news on her first day of school!]

Cory is now in second grade.  His first is this is the first time he has been at school without Keri.  He has adjusted really well and we are incredibly happy with his new teacher.  This should be a great year for him!

Cory is in 2nd grade and apparently Eli thinks he is starting 10th grade  

And last, but not least, this is the first year for Eli in preschool.  He has been w.a.i.t.i.n.g. for this day for a long time!  Last year he was quite distraught when he didn’t get to start school with the other kids.

[P.S. Eli came up with these poses himself. I merely told him I was going to take his picture.  Too funny!]

To say he loves his class is an understatement.  When I pick him up from school, he doesn’t want to come home even though he has already been there for 4 hours. He is definitely thriving and blossoming in his new environment.

I think Ari wanted to stay at preschool, too.

And I will be honest and admit that I am enjoying the little bit more freedom I now have since Eli has preschool a few mornings during the week .  Life can seem a bit easier when you only have one kid in tow, and not two … or four!  Yes, I do love my kids dearly, but I am a better mom when I have some down time.

Here’s to hoping that this school year is a fabulous one for all involved!

First Grade Haiku

Cory’s homework assignment tonight was to write a haiku.  I still have vivid memories of writing haiku myself while in 2nd grade.  My teacher was Mrs. Moroto and we hatched baby chicks in our class.

Cory hammered out his poem pretty quickly.  He was quite pleased with himself until we pointed out to him that reptiles has two syllables, not three … even though it can sound like three with the way he pronounces it.  We decided to consult our trusty dusty friend, dictionary.com, and Cory quickly realized that it was indeed two syllables.

He was not happy.  Not in the least bit.

After many tears and some 7 year old tantruming, he emerged from his room and was rather content with his new masterpiece.

Cobras eat lizards.
Amphibians are slimy.
Treefrogs live in trees.

Our First Science Fair

A few weeks ago, Keri participated in her first ever Science Fair which was hosted by her elementary school.

This  project was to be done entirely at home and the students had two months to work on it.  The main requirement was the experiment needed to be an investigative one as opposed to a project that would merely yield a yes or no answer.  I know how time consuming things like this can be, but thankfully Keri managed her time relatively well (with some reminders and gentle prodding from her parents) so things never got too ominous.

I must admit I was pretty excited for Keri to learn and better understand (and appreciate!) the steps of the scientific method.  Yes, the former Biology Teacher in me was coming out.  Interestingly enough, I did a blog post on the Steps of the Scientific Method back in May of 2007.  That post has had nearly 12,000 hits and it is the 5th most popular post on my blog.  Who would have known?!

Randy, with his science and engineering background, was also looking forward to helping Keri with her project.  They spent some quality time together … and had fun in the process … while researching a lot of topics.   She finally settled on the topic of eye cone cells and afterimages.

Perhaps the highlights of this whole process were:  1)  seeing how satisfied she felt with the finished project and all the hard work she put into it and 2) seeing her at the actual Science Fair interacting with students and parents, explaining what her project was all about and answering their questions.  She seemed to be completely in her element.  She is definitely a people person.  We are very proud of her!

And because some people were asking for more details, here are some excerpts from the write up of her experiment:

Chaotic and Confusing Cone Cells

Purpose and Background

I once looked up at a new light bulb in the kitchen for about two seconds. I then looked up at the white ceiling and blinked. On the ceiling I saw a bluish, purplish color in the same shape as the light bulb. Every time this happens to me I wonder how and why the color of a white surface changes when I look at a light. After doing some research with my Dad, I found out that eye cone cells can get fatigued and then they can’t give a proper signal to the brain. Instead, you see an afterimage of a different color. You won’t see the real color again until your cone cells regain their strength.

Question

Will the color of the afterimage change to blue, red, green, or a combination depending on which of your three cone cells is fatigued?

Hypothesis

I predict that if the blue cone cells are fatigued, then the afterimage will be red, green, or a combination of the two colors on a white surface. If red cone cells are fatigued, then the afterimage will be blue, green or a combination on a white surface. If the green cone cells are fatigued, then the afterimage will be blue, red, or a combination of the colors on a white surface.

Conclusion

My hypothesis was partly supported. The color I saw when I fatigued the blue cone cells was a pinkish, salmon color. When I fatigued the red cells I saw a sky blue. I saw a purplish, magenta color when I fatigued the green cone cells.

My hypothesis was supported because the color that I stared at had an intensity on the RGB Color Model of at least 110 (average) less than the other cone cells I didn’t fatigue. However, my hypothesis wasn’t completely supported because the color I fatigued wasn’t entirely tired out. There was still a little bit of the fatigued color in the afterimage. Only five times during the twenty seven trials was the intensity of the fatigued cone cell exactly zero.

Discussion

The results of my experiment weren’t entirely accurate because our cone cells seem to regain strength pretty quickly. When you look at a white surface to see the afterimage, you blink, which makes the cells regain strength, which affects the results. To make the results more accurate we need a robot or a computer to do the experiment because they wouldn’t blink. Another reason why the results weren’t completely accurate is because I couldn’t always remember the exact color I saw when trying to find its match on the color palette.

Now that I have done my experiment, I have even more questions about light and cone cells. For example, how long does it take for cone cells to regain strength? Another question is what would the afterimage be if you looked at a yellow surface afterwards instead of a white surface? I also wonder what it would be like if we had different colors for our cone cells.

The School Saga

It is looking like the 11 year school chapter we have been living is coming to a close.  And it looks like this chapter might be finished once and for all.

There will surely be no more rewrites or footnotes or last minute revisions … or so it seems.  Why is it so hard to use the word never?!

It almost seems surreal.

A little over a month ago Rudy successfully defended his second Master’s degree.  Since then he has been working full time at the same university in a hired position.  Originally this position was supposed to open the door for him to still be able to receive his doctorate sometime during the course of the next year or so.  His employer/adviser was perfectly fine with the arrangement.

Of course we had to go through the formality of  applying for a “Leave of Absence” from the program.  We never gave it much thought.  After all, we assumed it was just another hoop to jump through.

But today we received the following notification:

The Student Affairs Committee met and deliberated at length regarding your petition. The Committee understood the reason for your request but decided not to approve it.

My heart kind of stopped when I read those words.

And when it started beating again it ached for my husband.  For his lost dream.

I never thought in a trillion years that this was where we would hit an impassable road block.

But we have.

For the most part we both think the Lord has now firmly shut the door on this part of our life.  The windows, too, have been permanently  painted shut.

It is true we might be able to pry open one of those windows with a chisel and a lot of hard work and determination, but I don’t think that is the path intended for us.

I feel like I have gone through a lot of personal growth during the last few weeks and months.  Many different things have been weighing on my mind, many things that have left me pondering and searching for answers.

But this last week or so the Lord has granted me some much needed peace.  He has shown me tender mercy after tender mercy.  He has sent me strength beyond my own, strength from Him and strength from angels.

I am definitely still processing the fact that this door has just been shut.  I have mixed emotions about certain things, but there is an underlying calmness that surrounds my soul.

I know my life and the life of my family is in the palm of the Lord’s hand.

The schooling ride we have endured these last 11 years has been much longer than we ever expected it to be.  We have learned many unexpected lessons along the way and we have also not achieved many things we thought we would achieve along the way.

But our trust is planted firmly in the Lord.

“This life is an experience in profound trust—trust in Jesus Christ, trust in His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those teachings for happiness now and for a purposeful, supremely happy eternal existence. To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning. To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience.

“To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it. We are like infants in our understanding of eternal matters and their impact on us here in mortality. Yet at times we act as if we knew it all. When you pass through trials for His purposes, as you trust Him, exercise faith in Him, He will help you. That support will generally come step by step, a portion at a time. While you are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that comes from being enlarged will continue. If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow. Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love. …

“How grateful I am personally that our Savior taught we should conclude our most urgent, deeply felt prayers, when we ask for that which is of utmost importance to us, with “Thy will be done” (Matt. 26:42). Your willingness to accept the will of the Father will not change what in His wisdom He has chosen to do. However, it will certainly change the effect of those decisions on you personally. That evidence of the proper exercise of agency allows His decisions to produce far greater blessings in your life. I have found that because of our Father’s desire for us to grow, He may give us gentle, almost imperceptible promptings that, if we are willing to accept without complaint, He will enlarge to become a very clear indication of His will. This enlightenment comes because of our faith and our willingness to do what He asks even though we would desire something else.

“Our Father in Heaven has invited you to express your needs, hopes, and desires unto Him. That should not be done in a spirit of negotiation, but rather as a willingness to obey His will no matter what direction that takes. His invitation, “Ask, and ye shall receive” does not assure that you will get what you want. It does guarantee that, if worthy, you will get what you need, as judged by a Father that loves you perfectly, who wants your eternal happiness even more than do you. …

“Try to understand those teachings not only with your mind but also with your heart. …

“The Lord’s plan is to exalt you to live with Him and be greatly blessed. The rate at which you qualify is generally set by your capacity to mature, to grow, to love, and to give of yourself. He is preparing you to be a god. You cannot understand fully what that means, yet, He knows. As you trust Him, seek and follow His will, you will receive blessings that your finite mind cannot understand here on earth. Your Father in Heaven and His Holy Son know better than you what brings happiness. They have given you the plan of happiness. As you understand and follow it, happiness will be your blessing. As you willingly obey, receive, and honor the ordinances and covenants of that holy plan, you can have the greatest measure of satisfaction in this life. Yes, even times of overpowering happiness. You will prepare yourself for an eternity of glorious life with your loved ones who qualify for that kingdom.” ~ Richard G. Scott, “Trust In The Lord”

I know from the bottom of my heart that I lead an abundant life.  And for that knowledge the Lord grants me, I am grateful.

The Master’s Defense

This morning Rudy defended his Master’s thesis.

Lovely self-portrait taken a few weeks ago.

The verdict?

In his words, he passed “with flying colors!”

The cherry on top of the ice cream on top of the richly frosted chocolate cake?  He has no revisions to make.  We truly feel beyond blessed.

Congrats, Rudy!  I knew you could do it … in fact for me, this presentation today was just a small formality.

I am so proud of all the hard work you put into this and all you have sacrificed to further your education.   This road has definitely not been easy, but it has been the right road for us.   Your diligence and perseverance have been formidable.   Your work ethic and faith are a shining example to many, including me.  Thanks for all you do for me and for our family!

*****************************

In other news in our household, little Eli turned 7 months old today.  The months are flying by at lightning speed!

Eli is an absolute joy to have in our family.  His older siblings adore him and he delights in them just as much.

He is a happy and content little guy.  In fact, there always seems to be a twinkle and sparkle that radiates in his eyes.  He loves people and he loves “talking” with them.

He is finally enjoying solids.  Most of the time he gobbles them up twice a day.  He can quite easily pick up finger food, but getting the food into his mouth … in other words learning to release the death grip he has on his food into his mouth … is still a trick he is perfecting.

He loves to babble.  Mamamama and bababa are a few of his favorites.  He likes to play in his exersaucer,  jump in his door jam jumper, sit in his Bumbo chair, drool, pant like a dog and be sung to.  He also loves books, but mostly he prefers to eat them.

He can also just about sit on his own.  He is growing up way too fast!  We can’t get enough of this little addition to our family … unless of course it is at 4 in the morning and we are wishing he were still asleep !

I don’t know why, but Eli loves to eat bowls and plates.  Go figure?!

Fog

Last week I felt like I was being smothered by a dense fog, both literally and figuratively.

Thankfully this week the skies seem a little clearer.  Some sun breaks have even been apparent.

So have circumstances changed?

No, not really.  Unless you count the fact that I am trying to adjust my attitude and outlook. I am trying to learn to fly better.

“The question still is: How well can you fly it when everything goes wrong? How well can you live when every test, every trial, every proof of your faithfulness is exacted of you?”   ~ Robert E. Wells

If I had attempted to write this post last week, many of you would have wondered who had hijacked my blog.  The plane I was flying last week crashed.  And it crashed hard.

I was tired of being Pollyanna.  I was tired of playing the glad game.  I was tired in general. Not being able to get more than a 3 hour stretch of sleep at any given time wreaks havoc on a person.

I was also tired of juggling too many plates.  So I let a lot of them temporarily fall while I retreated to my own inner world.

I cried. I prayed.  I felt angry and bitter and I didn’t let anyone into my thought processes for awhile.

But then I opened up a little and I vented to some good friends who listened well.  They reminded me I was not alone in my trials and they let me know it was OK to just let it all out.  It was OK to feel this way.  It was OK to grieve, for lack of a better word.  And soon the fog began to thin.

But where did all the fog roll in from?  A lot of it came from having a husband in school for nearly 11 years.  He will be finishing up his second Master’s degree next month … but this degree was supposed to be a Ph.D.  And it’s not. [Not because of any fault of his own.  The adviser he was working under left the University and consequently funding got cut.]

For the most part I have come to terms with that and I was ready to move on with my life.  I was ready to be done with school and ready to start a real job.  I was ready to have a real income.  I was ready to move, to physically move and change locations.  Even if we couldn’t get into our own house right away I was ready to move to a bigger place.  Our kids are desperate for more space in the house and for a backyard to play in. Nearly every day 3 year old Cory asks when he can have one.

But when is anything in life ever cut and dry?  Especially when it comes to Rudy and his schooling?

So here I was thinking we were going to completely close one chapter in our life …  schooling … and finally be able to start a new one.

But I was wrong.

Rudy will still get his degree next month, but instead of being able to move, we are staying in our tiny little 2 bedroom apartment.  We decided to take a job at the school he has been attending the last 5 years.  [In fact he just started part time this week.] It is a dream job for Rudy and it might open up a door for him to still get his doctorate in the next year or so, but the pay is pathetic.

And just last week we found out that the pay is going to be lower than we expected.  That in and of itself is what triggered the fog in my head to become so dense.  That is what caused many of the other plates I was precariously spinning to come crashing down.

But that is OK.  I am healing.  I am learning to “find joy in the journey – now.”

“Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us.

“Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.

“Some of you may be familiar with Thornton Wilder’s classic drama Our Town. If you are, you will remember the town of Grover’s Corners, where the story takes place. In the play Emily Webb dies in childbirth, and we read of the lonely grief of her young husband, George, left with their four-year-old son. Emily does not wish to rest in peace; she wants to experience again the joys of her life. She is granted the privilege of returning to earth and reliving her 12th birthday. At first it is exciting to be young again, but the excitement wears off quickly. The day holds no joy now that Emily knows what is in store for the future. It is unbearably painful to realize how unaware she had been of the meaning and wonder of life while she was alive. Before returning to her resting place, Emily laments, ‘Do . . . human beings ever realize life while they live it—every, every minute?’

“Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings.

“Said one well-known author:  ‘Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.’” ~ Thomas S. Monson

I am learning to choose how to focus on the abundance I have been given as opposed to what I think is missing from my life.  It is a humbling experience, but I hope to learn how to choose well.

I want to be happy. I want to be content.  I want to be free of anger and envy.  I want to be optimistic.  I want to dream.  I want to be proactive and realize my dreams.

And I will.

It might be slow going and I might occasionally fly my plane dangerously close to the jagged edge of mountain ranges at times, but I will keep flying.

The Lord has felt my pain.  All of it.  He will succor me.

In Latin succor means to run to the rescue, to bring aid.

And that He will do.

He will walk hand in hand with me as I journey through this life.

As I journey with joy … now.

****************************************

(This post has been entered into MamaBlogga’s Group Writing Project.)

Crossroads

Once again we have happened upon another major crossroads decision in my husband’s graduate schooling.

A few weeks after Eli was born, my husband timidly informed me that his current adviser in his PhD program is leaving the university. In fact he is leaving academia all together because he has decided he wants to have more time to spend with his family. He has already accepted another job offer out of state and will be gone sometime in October.

When I heard the news, my heart kind of stopped. My immediate thoughts and emotions were all over the board.

On one hand I was actually thrilled for this professor and I even exclaimed to my husband, “Good for him for knowing how to keep his priorities straight.” After all, family should come first.

But then again, what kind of implications was this going to have on my family? Were we going to be able to finish the program? I knew we had acquired funding through March 1st of next year, but what would happen after that? And who could take over the leaving adviser’s responsibilities? They needed to have somewhat of an understanding of the project Rudy is working on.

Pretty soon it became clear to us that this dream of a doctorate degree was going to remain elusive. That little slip of paper indicating that we were done was not going to become a reality.

At first I was bitter because by nature I am not a quitter. We have been working towards this PhD degree for 5 years now. That is half of our married life. We have invested so much time, money and other things into this educational pursuit that I wasn’t about to let this get in our way. I figured we would find a way to fund ourselves even though it would be insanely expensive. I knew our extended family would help if necessary.

But all these thoughts and plans felt forced. We might be able to make it work this way, but it didn’t seem right.

I then began to question our decision to begin this graduate program in the first place. Were we ever supposed to obtain a doctorate degree? Did we make a wrong decision when we started down this path?

I then thought back to other major schooling crossroads we have encountered while in this program. Do we keep making the same mistake over and over again? There have been several times before where it seemed like we would have to leave the program, but somehow a window always opened when a door had been shut on us. But now I was thinking, have we been opening up all the wrong windows? Why then haven’t we been stopped way before we were this far into the program?

I felt crushed.

Hopeless.

This kind of pressure when you are a few weeks post partum is not a good mixture. Many tears were shed and many thoughts, shouts and pleas were sent heavenward.

Soon, though, a gradual acceptance began to flow through me. If we were merely going to end up with a second Master’s degree so be it. I began to let the pride go, pride I didn’t even realize I was holding onto. After all, I don’t know what is best for my life and the life of my family. I have to trust in the Lord to show me the way and then I need to trust Him that He is leading us along the right path, even if the outcome is way different than I ever imagined it being.

He knows what is best. He knows what experiences we need to succeed in life, and if He doesn’t think we need that silly diploma, then so be it.

We are still fairly uncertain what the future holds for us. Right now I feel like we have taken all the pieces of our life and have thrown them way up in the air. They are still up there hovering and being blown all around, but I am trying to be patient as we wait for them to settle down.

Will we have health insurance when our funding is up? Will we be able to find a job? Will we be able to find a work study program that will help Rudy finish his degree? Where will we move – across the state? To New Mexico? To Colorado? To Northern California? Will we be moving in a few months or next June when Keri is done with second grade?

Still, so many unknowns, but I am clinging to my faith in the Lord. He will provide.

And on one hand, I am getting excited about the prospect of moving. Of starting the next chapter in our life. Hopefully a chapter that will be a little longer, that will be a little more settling. And I am dreaming of being in our own home. Of having a fenced back yard, a yard with a playset in it, where the kids can freely run around and scream until their energetic hearts are content.

This dreaming is good for me, it’s therapeutic. More importantly, though, it feels right.

The Lord will keep His promises to me and my husband, I just need to believe and to accept the “packets of spiritual sunlight” He has sent to brighten my way.

“I testify that when the Lord closes one important door in your life, He shows His continuing love and compassion by opening many other compensating doors through your exercise of faith. He will place in your path packets of spiritual sunlight to brighten your way. They often come after the trial has been the greatest, as evidence of the compassion and love of an all-knowing Father. They point the way to greater happiness, more understanding, and strengthen your determination to accept and be obedient to His will.

“There is no guarantee of overnight results, but there is absolute assurance that, in the Lord’s time, solutions will come, peace will prevail, and emptiness will be filled.

“Please learn that as you wrestle with a challenge and feel sadness because of it, you can simultaneously have peace and rejoicing. Yes, pain, disappointment, frustration, and anguish can be temporary scenes played out on the stage of life. Behind them there can be a background of peace and the positive assurance that a loving Father will keep His promises.” ~ Richard G. Scott

The Peace After A Storm

These last two weeks have been more than emotionally draining. In fact, they have been some of the toughest and bleakest moments I have endured in a long, long time. For a time I felt so incredibly alone and helpless that I wasn’t sure how we were going to make it. I had enough faith to know we would make it, but I just couldn’t fathom how.

But with the help and strength of the Lord we survived and now they are behind us. That is what matters. I know life still has many roadblocks and detours for us still to endure, but the fact that we made it through this particular refiners fire gives me the hope, faith and courage I need to weather the next one.

The afternoon of Saint Patrick’s Day started off like any other day, but things slowly went from annoying and bothersome to down right chaotic and hard to deal with. It all started when I was late getting out the door to pick Keri up from school because Cory was throwing a huge tantrum. However, once I managed to get to our van with a kicking and screaming three year old, I realized that our car battery was completely dead. Luckily my manager was home and able to help so I could finally get to the school to pick Keri up. Unfortunately she had also had a rotten day. Friend and classroom issues for a six year old first grader can be pretty traumatizing.

But to top all that off, my husband, who has already been struggling with dissertation woes, soon informed me that his PhD adviser had just let him know that within two weeks he wasn’t going to be able to fund us anymore. That meant that we had 11 days to find a new adviser, during Finals Week and Spring Break no less, or else we would lose our monthly stipend, our tuition payments and our health insurance. What a huge financial blow with no time to prepare, especially with the economy already in shambles.

I simply lost it and broke down in tears. That is when I wrote the post on how I wished so badly I could just temporarily check myself out of life. Pregnancy hormones and seemingly horrible life circumstances can be a challenging combination.

Somehow, though, over the next two weeks I manged to get through the motions of life while trying not to let worry and fear completely overwhelm me. The tears always seemed ready to fall. Thank goodness for concerned friends who sent emails, who hung out with me and listened to me vent and who brought us unexpected meals. Thank goodness for the support and love offered from family, even though they are hundreds and hundreds of miles away.

Door after door seemed to get shut on us as we desperately tried to find a new adviser who had funding to offer. And at the last possible moment, literally on the afternoon of the day of our deadline, a plan with Rudy’s old adviser presented itself.

So for at least one more quarter we have the funding we need.

And I have relearned, yet again, that the Lord will provide. He will always provide and open a window around you to let the light in, even when you think it will virtually be impossible.

I have now beaten another storm, another storm that was so fierce I thought it might consume me and swallow me. Yet it didn’t. It let up and soon the peace flowed in.

I feel overly grateful and humbled to have the Lord on my side, walking hand in hand with me, as I endure this journey called life.

Dissertation Woes

As many of you know, my husband and I have been married for nearly 10 years.  Of those 10 years, he has been in school the entire time.

Honestly, this doesn’t bother me at all. I have always been 110% supportive of him getting all the education he needs. Currently he is in graduate school pursuing his doctorate degree in bioengineering.

However, by this time next year we are hoping that miraculously he will have earned his PhD and he will have a job lined up that he enjoys. But who knows what path God is going to direct us down. Right now we are just attempting to survive the next two weeks.

Before Rudy can successfully write and defend his dissertation, he needs to first pass a general exam. And in order to even take the general exam, he has to set up the date for that exam the quarter before he plans on taking it. Which means that by the end of this week he needs to somehow finish developing the mathematical equations he needs so he can finalize everything else before the quarter ends in a mere two weeks.

And if all the pieces of the puzzle don’t fall into place, then what? Do we take a leave of absence? Does he completely change courses to pursue a second Master’s? But what about his goal of teaching and doing research at a University? And at some point we need to move out of our teeny 2 bedroom, 800 square foot apartment, especially since a new little one will be joining us in the middle of July.

Can you feel our stress?!?!

We both feel completely overwhelmed, but we are trying to have faith and to remember that the reason we are even in graduate school is because we strongly felt like this was the path we were supposed to pursue.

I know I need to take a deep breath and remain prayerful and calm.

“Be still and know that I am God.” ~ D&C 101:16