Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

In honor of Inauguration Day on January 20th,  I thought I would post this political piece.  Many of you have probably already read it, but I found it quite hilarious … and rather enlightening … so I thought I would share.

Enjoy the chuckles!

SARAH PALIN: Because it could see Russia from there.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
change!  The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about
me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

JOE BIDEN: I’m tired of walking on egg shells because of this chicken.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.  What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before
it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his
current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Did he cross it with a hare? Did he cross it with a bear? Did he check
if the road was hot? I kinda doubt it, I think not! Yes, the chicken
crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told. Just one more
thing I have to say, it’s been bugging me to this very day. If the
Chicken is a she, why do we keep saying HE?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008.
This new platform is much more stable and will never
cras#@&&%%……reboot

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Vote November 4th

I am sure we are all more than ready for this political election year to be over with, especially if your phone has been ringing off the hook with random people calling to remind you to vote.

I think this is the political year that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some people started covering it not knowing what it was … sorry if that song is stuck in your head the rest of the day.

Personally I am grateful for my absentee ballot so I don’t have to stand in any long lines to exercise the  remarkable freedom I have been given to help elect the officials I think should govern our great republic … although I am sure if I had to go to a polling booth the poll workers would probably move me up to the front of the line since Cory would most likely be creating too much noise pollution.  We definitely wouldn’t want him interfering with the political process and with people’s right to vote.

I consider myself to be politically ambidextrous.

I am definitely an independent when it comes to political views.  I like to look at candidates as individuals as opposed to what particular platform they align themselves with.  I like to do my own research – On The Issues has been a great tool for me – instead of just listening to what the media or friends or family or what fellow Church members tell me to do.  I prefer to look at what the candidates personally stand for and what they represent and then make my decision from there.

So whoever you are going to vote for, please go out and vote.  Just do it.  Don’t say your vote doesn’t count, because it most certainly does. And if you happen not to like either of the tickets for the two major political parties, then don’t forget that there are several third party platforms to choose from as well.  I have looked into all of those options to ensure that I am voting for that candidate I believe in the most.

And if you get tired of watching election coverage, maybe you can watch a clever and witty, old school Disney musical instead, “The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band.”

A couple of months ago we borrowed this film from the library and we adored it.  It is a movie about the 1888 United States presidential election when Grover Cleveland won the popular vote, but Benjamin Harrison won more votes in the electoral college.  Hopefully we won’t be repeating that this year.

Happy voting!  This is certainly an historic election year.

This Is Why I Am An Independent

I feel like I am going out on a limb posting this … who knows, I might pull it soon after I hit publish.

In general I normally refrain from discussing politics with people, but I couldn’t help myself this time.   I got too good of a chuckle out of this particular exchange, even if the clips might be out of context.

“We’ve heard a lot of words from Senator Obama over the course of this campaign. But maybe just this once he could spare us the lectures, and admit to his own poor judgment in contributing to these problems. The crisis on Wall Street started in the Washington culture of lobbying and influence peddling, and he was square in the middle of it.” ~ Senator John McCain

As a citizen, I take my right to vote seriously.

I wish the candidates currently running for president would take their right to run for president seriously.  Can’t you please give us some specifics and details as to what you plan to do once you get elected to the oval office instead of just blaming each other for the current problems in America?

The “Fading Breed of Selfless Public Officials”

I loved this editorial I stumbled across:

He was called an “accidental president” and forever will be remembered as the butt of “Saturday Night Live” skits. A klutzy character continually beaning spectators with golf balls and tumbling out of Air Force One.

But to middle-age and older Americans President Gerald R. Ford, the 13-term Michigan congressman who succeeded the disgraced Richard Nixon, was a decent man who did his best to heal the nation’s Watergate wounds.

Ford, who died Tuesday at the age of 93, was among the last — if not the last — of a fading breed of selfless public