To The Mom At The Park

To The Mom at the Park:

Thank you.

Thank you for being so quick to forgive.

Thank you for being so kind and understanding.

Thank you for not judging me and my parenting skills based on our first interaction.

Thank you for being so easy going and carefree.

Thank you for the lovely thirty minute conversation – it was wonderful to chat so openly and freely about anything and everything.

Thank you, too, for saying I was a “thoughtful” mom {and clearly meaning it} as I explained how I am trying not to squash my four-year-old’s emerging personality especially since many of the same qualities will probably serve him quite well later in life.  He is strong-willed, courageous, determined, resilient, energetic, outspoken and spirited; he definitely marches to the beat of his own drum.

Anyway, I hope we run into each other again sometime soon. And I hope your early evening jaunt to the grocery store with your 22 month old and 4 month old wasn’t too terrible.

Warmly,
Your New Park Friend

*******************************************

It’s Spring soccer season around here so we headed to a local park to drop Cory off for practice.  Since today marked the first day that it has been over 70 this year, we decided to stay and play at the playground to enjoy the radiant sunshine.

While I was helping Ari out of the car, Eli ran ahead to start playing on all the equipment.   Next thing I know, though, he is tossing a handful of bark all over a nearly two year old little girl.  As I was hurrying over to put an end to the mayhem and to ask him what provoked his behavior, the little girl’s mom got there first to help her brush off.

I quickly apologized for what Eli had done and then I had Eli say he was sorry, too.  I then chatted with him about how it is more appropriate to use our words when we are frustrated and not to throw things.  I am  incredibly grateful the other mom was such an amazing and stellar mom.

I should also give a shout-out to the other Mom at the park who is obviously raising some remarkable and compassionate boys.  They were such gentlemen!  Her two young boys were quick to share the balls they had brought and then they went on to play basketball with my two boys for awhile.  They were incredibly patient and were great at taking turns.

And since I am on a roll, I should say thank you to the Dad at the park, too.  He was in the middle of playing a pick-up game on the basketball court with his two boys, but when four more young boys wanted to join in the fun, he welcomed them all with a warm and friendly smile.

It was definitely a positive and uplifting afternoon.

Spring Break – Part One

Most Spring Breaks for us are staycations … if you can even call it that because most of the time we don’t go out and do a whole lot (such is life with young kids in the home, especially when one is still napping and mom needs her sanity workouts at the gym in the morning).  Instead we try and do a few things out of the ordinary while we enjoy spending some quality time together {in between the bickering and arguing } as a family.

While on breaks from school, I also try and come up with activities that we can do around the home, based on what my kids’ interests are at the time.  A little bit before Spring Break began, I noticed Eli starting to become really interested in and intent on coloring.  He would sit for several minutes at a time and stay focused. He would find or ask for a Pokemon to color and then he would look it up in a book and copy the colors quite accurately … and obsessively.

The first Pokemon four-year-old Eli intently sat and colored.

So for Spring Break this time around, I printed out dozens and dozens {thank goodness our local library allows us several free prints each week!} of Pokemon characters and the kids went to to town coloring and cutting while occasionally watching some Pokemon shows I picked up from the library.

Coloring by flashlight in the evening.

Before long, taping and decorating became part of the ritual.

Eli’s room.

Cory’s room.

Even Ari and Keri got in on the action.  Ari loves to mimic his older siblings so he would grab a piece of paper and a random book and then look at the book while coloring.

Keri enjoyed being a mentor and supervisor at the various stations we had going on – picking out which Pokemon to color, finding the Pokemon in the book to get the coloring accurate, helping color and cut if necessary, and then assisting in the process of taping the finished product on the walls.

I have always been super impressed with the creative and artistic talents my children possess because I can’t even draw a straight stick figure, even if my life depended on it!

Cory’s version of “Starry Night.” He did this as a school art project earlier this year. 

#momfailure

** Being asked by a Kids Club worker at the gym, “So when is Ari going to learn to talk?”

** Being completely misunderstood by your child’s teacher.  They now probably think you are one of those helicopter parents who intervenes on everything when in reality you were simply trying to be an advocate for your child.

** Your nearly two year old, who is typically an easy-going and happy-go-lucky child gets written up for two “incidents” in the same day at the Kids Club for supposedly pushing another child.

** Getting reprimanded by the school secretary for “coaching” your child when you didn’t even know there was an assessment going on.

** Feeling judged because your child appears to be a bit intimidated by an assessment and therefore forgets a lot of things you know he knows.  {And now you start to second guess yourself – is he really ready to start school in the Fall?}

** Learning your child likes to slip out of class when the teacher isn’t looking.

** The neighbor child feeling like they need to parent your kid and then going on and on and on about his supposed horrendous behavior while also slipping subtle punishments/threats into the conversation.

** Your child trying to suppress tears when you greet them after school because it had been one of those afternoons where nothing seemed to go their way.  They literally kept getting knocked down.

Sigh.

What a rough couple of days it has been.  … Some days it’s just a little harder to find the sugar needed to make lemonade.

It is at times like this when you seriously wonder how your kids are ever going to make it with you as their parent.  You think the only thing rubbing off on them are the behaviors and attitudes you are trying not to pass on.

Purposeful and deliberate parenting?  You try, but in reality those ideals all fly out the window when you wake up tired or when you feel like you are emotionally going to snap since you feel torn in one too many directions – too many hands, mouths and hearts all vying for your attention and support at the same time.

You think you know what you should be doing and accomplishing, yet every day feels like you are just trying to survive.  So you end up feeling overwhelmed, dejected, unmotivated and selfish.

But I am grateful I have a husband who lets me cry on his shoulder.

I am grateful for the warm embraces he offers when he sees me feeling defeated.

I am grateful for the support and love he willingly gives and how he gently reminds me that I don’t have to do this parenting gig on my own.

And then the night wears on and the two of you work in tandem as the swing shift kicks into full gear.  Soon snuggles are given, laughter is heard and “I love you’s” are shared.

You continue to move forward and march on as you attempt to focus on the light, and not dwell in the dark.

You feel encouraged by a sweet comment from a friend who probably has no idea how she has lifted your spirits, but at least you don’t feel forgotten.

You read some uplifting words and carry on.

And hope for a better day tomorrow.

Sleep – it always does wonders for the mind, body and soul. … And waking up to brilliant sunshine reminds you there are always tender mercies provided by Him.

{image courtesy of jimmyandheather.com}

{other images courtesy of google images}

Easter Weekend

The sunshine over Easter weekend was warm and glorious – just what my soul needed!

The other day when I finally got around to downloading the pictures from our camera {yes, life has been a bit hectic and intense lately}, it made me happy to go through them because for nearly three full weeks following that weekend, we have been getting consistently drenched with Spring rainstorms!

I have known since January that Easter was going to come early this year (March 31st), but it still seemed like it snuck up on me.  I didn’t get any pictures snapped on Easter morning when we were all dressed up (I needed to be at Church early for choir practice), but I did get quite a few from our family egg hunt.

Trying to get all four kids to look happy and at the camera at the same time is not an easy feat!

Last Easter Ari wasn’t much into the egg hunt thing (probably because he wasn’t even one and he didn’t even know how to walk at the time), but it was absolutely delightful to watch him get into the action this year.

Once he discovered there were chocolate spoils hidden in his eggs, there was no stopping him!  {Thankfully each egg only had one M&M in it so if he ate them all at once, it wasn’t a big deal.}

All the kids seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves. I am definitely grateful we have a backyard to have so much fun in.

I adore the carefree and happy feelings this picture evokes!
Life is good!

After our egg hunt, Keri surprised us with a sweet, little Easter gift – some Spring magnets that now live on our fridge!

Her thoughtfulness and generosity continually inspire me to be a better person!

On Easter morning, the kids woke up to pictures of Christ hung up all over our home and a little Easter gift.

I cherish the Easter season and all it represents!

Another Birthday

A couple of weeks ago I celebrated my birthday.  I am not so sure the lyrics from the primary song I used to sing in my youth are still applicable to me:

Turning 37 seems too close to 40.  And being 40 seems too mature for me – not that that age is old or anything. I just don’t feel like I have accomplished enough in my life to be so wise yet.

I think I like the way my friend said it best.  This year I celebrated the 8th anniversary of my 29th birthday.  That sounds much better !!

My birthday fell on a Saturday this year. It was definitely enjoyable to be able to sleep in and rest! I woke up to a plethora of cards waiting for me.

Eli made me a Light Saber Birthday Cake card.

Cory made me a Pokemon card.

Keri wrote me a beautiful note and made me a darling, little hand-stitched pillow. I love the creativity that runs in that girl!

I also received some birthday cards via snail mail – my mail box loves it when it gets “real” mail and not just junk and bills.

I definitely felt doted on this year. Thank you for all the birthday love I received via Facebook posts, phone calls and phone texts, lunches, flowers and chocolates that were given.  They all brightened my day and my week!

Since Randy and I were going to head out in the evening for a dinner date, we decided to share some doughnuts with the kids earlier in the day.  They always like to be incorporated into our birthday celebrations.

Randy and I had a delightful evening together. It was incredibly wonderful to get out and away from everyday life for a bit.  We relaxed over dinner and chatted a ton.  We had some very meaningful and enlightening conversations.

I even ended up with two birthday dinner desserts.  I got a complimentary one with our dinner, but after walking around the mall for a bit and realizing that all the movies we wanted to see started too late, we decided to indulge in a gourmet piece of cheesecake and headed to a different restaurant. It tasted heavenly! I even somewhat enjoyed it when all the waiters and waitresses sang to me.

Being 37 in the year 2013 seems a bit ominous to me (maybe it is all the 3′s in there, or all the odd numbers represented, or the fact that the supposedly unlucky number 13 is present), but so far I am learning to enjoy and embrace this new age and new year.  Maybe I really will start to feel wiser !

My 2013 Word of the Year

My brain is trying to wrap itself around the fact that 2013 is truly here.  2013 is present day life right now, not something still in the future.

At the beginning of December I started thinking about what I wanted my new word of the year to be.  I pondered it for awhile and thought I had chosen it.  There were a couple in the running.  But then about a week ago a different word worked its way into my mind and it has not budged.

It is a powerful word.  A strong word.  A word that has a lot of potential if I fully embrace it in the manner I envision it.

My word for 2013?

This definition captures the essence of what it means to me rather well.

In particular, the words “process” and “potentiality” jump out at me.

This year I want to focus more on the process and progress I am making in my life, and not so much on a-once-attained-and-then-you’re-done kind of goal.  For me “becoming” focuses on the journey – the potholes, the speed bumps, the coastings, the uphills, the downhills, the joy rides – and not the final destination.

Becoming is a present tense word, not past tense or future tense.  It is optimistic.  It is hopeful.  It is forgiving and tolerant.  It is merciful. It is flexible.  It is open minded, resourceful, respectful and accepting.

By choosing the word becoming, I feel like it means I am embracing all of me more fully – my faults, flaws, mistakes, blunders, successes, idiosyncrasies, advancements and everything in between.  Choosing the word becoming means accepting myself while on this journey of life, and not just the end-of-journey me.  It means embracing the me who dusts herself off and journeys on with courage and determination, even if it is a bit timidly at times, as opposed to wallowing in the dust while on the ground and staying put because I got dirty or marred.

It means filling my bucket with Drops of Awesome.   It means remembering “you made the right choice once. And in that moment you were the person you want to be and that is a triumph. … Drop of Awesome!”

I want to focus more on these moments so I can become the person I want to become, the person I know I can be, as opposed to allowing the negative self talk battling it out in my brain to bring me down into despair and discouragement. “[God] wants us to feel joy. Not later, when we no longer make mistakes, but right now.” 

This year I want to work on more truly accepting myself as who I am and where I am in my life journey.  I need to remember that this life is a process and I won’t be complete until its done … and more importantly I won’t be complete until after the Atonement of Christ has made it so.  I need to recognize that I am a work-in-progress and then become joyful of this state of being I am in, of where I am right now in present day life.

This means:

• Becoming more joyful.
• Becoming a more compassionate listener.
• Becoming calmer and less of a reactive and yelly mom.
• Becoming more purposeful in my relationships with my children.
• Becoming less of a night owl.
• Becoming more comfortable in my own skin  - physically, emotionally, and intellectually.  In other words embracing me for who I am and then becoming OK with the fact that that me might be different than most people.
• Becoming more healthy and fit, and not as reliant on and addicted to sugar.
• Becoming more willing to share and give of myself.
• Becoming more aware of those around me.
• Becoming more gentle.
• Becoming more gracious.
• Becoming more charitable – more patient, more long suffering and less easily offended.
• Becoming one with my Savior.

These might sound like a lot of lofty goals, but they aren’t as long as I remain steadily pointed in the right direction and then accept the stumbles I know I will have along the way.  For me it is learning how to live in the moment, learning how to relish the small victories and not letting the bumps keep me down.

In reality it is the process of moving in the right direction, one baby step at a time.  One Drop of Awesome at a time until I need a new bucket to hold all the drops I have collected.

Indeed it is becoming.

I hope everyone is having a healthy, happy and purposeful start to their new year.

Christmas Through The Eyes of a 4 Year Old

I unintentionally hit the “pause” button on the holiday season for a couple of weeks when I got sick.  A bad case of bronchitis with a sinus infection on top of it is never fun, especially when you get a fever for 6 days straight. I rarely get fevers and this one just knocked me out.  I even got to spend some time in urgent care getting a breathing treatment because my inhaler wasn’t doing its job.

Needless to say I was more than excited to get back to the gym and my regular workout schedule this week.  And thankfully … as I knock on some major wood here … we are all healthy again.  But even though I was sick for two weeks straight, at least I felt well enough once my fever broke to haul out the Christmas decor so we could deck our house with the holiday spirit.

I can never get enough of the Christmas season, especially all the simple things.  Gazing at the twinkling and mesmerizing lights.  Listening to the joyful and soulful music. Pondering the many depictions of the nativity.  Watching festive shows as a family – White Christmas, The Polar Express, A Christmas Carol, Elf, Frosty the Snowman, and A Charlie Brown Christmas to name a few.  Reading Christmas stories in the evening by the tree lights.  Counting down with our chocolate advent calendar.

I also adore seeing Christmas through the eyes of a four year old.  They truly make the season magical.  Here are a few incidents I want to make sure I remember from our Mr. Eli this year.

{Eli images courtesy of Jenn Ireland Photography}

The morning after we put up our Christmas tree, Eli hurriedly ran to the living room with an excited look on his face.  He was sorely disappointed when he got there; his face instantly fell.  He thought presents were going to greet him once the tree was in place.

I’ll randomly hear Eli throughout the day mutter, “Sorry Santa.”  Apparently he is trying to make sure he doesn’t get on the naughty list.

Eli likes to move a lot of the kid friendly Christmas decorations to his room to decorate his own space – our Little People nativity set, a musical stuffed Santa that was a gift many years ago from Great Grandma, a wooden reindeer which has removable antlers and other little items.

The other day while Eli was eating breakfast, he casually and thoughtfully glanced up at me and said, “Mommy, what do you want for Christmas?”

Eli also wants to make sure he gives Baby Jesus a gift.  One day it was going to be a book.  Another day it was going to be a Star Wars themed present.

I seriously love this kid to pieces.

Smiles

Here are some things that have been making me S.M.I.L.E. lately:

** Getting family pictures taken by the amazing and talented photojournalist Jenn Ireland.  This is just a sliver of a peek of our fun outside photo shoot.

Isn’t that such a happy and carefree shot of Ari? His smile definitely makes me smile … as do all the cute smiles in the picture above!  So does the fact that Ari’s doctor is no longer concerned about his weight gain.  We had his weight check last week and although he is slowing down, he is back on track.

** Unexpectedly discovering that the previous owners of our home planted yellow roses which are now blooming.  Yellow is my happy color, my favorite color.  Yellow just radiates sunshine and smiles for me.

** Our friends loaning us their extra lawn mower.  Not only does their kindness and generosity make me smile, but so does the smell of freshly cut grass … even though my allergies might not always agree.

** Adding more tools to my parenting toolbox while reading a book my dear friend recently suggested to me –  “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. [Side note - I adore the name Adele!]

I’ll have to do a separate post on all that I am learning from this book … and another book that kind of goes along with it, “Siblings Without Rivalry.”  Perhaps I will now be able to more readily survive and even enjoy this summer with many smiles on my face .

What has been making you smile lately?

Wrapping Up May

[Photo: Gorgeous sunset I just happened upon last week while driving.]

Here we are a week into June and I am still talking about May.  Such is the way my life rolls these days .

** Cory participated in his school’s First Grade Musical – Wackadoodle Zoo.  At first he was pretty shy about participating. He didn’t want to wear his costume (which consisted of merely wearing the color brown since he and his classmates were bears) or sing the songs. I told him he didn’t have to.  However, before the night time parent performance, all the first grade classes performed their musical for the rest of the school.  Apparently he learned how painless it was and how fun it could be.  When he got home after school he joyfully exclaimed how he wanted to change his clothes into the right colors and how he couldn’t wait to perform (sing and say his line) that night for us.   I loved how during the whole performance he kept coyly waving at us.  He couldn’t seem to keep the huge grin off his face.  Priceless for sure!  Of course we celebrated with ice cream after!

** Keri attended 5th Grade Camp with the rest of her classmates.  She enjoyed the experience and learned a lot about plants, nature and the environment.

** Not only do we celebrate Mother’s Day in May, but a few days later we have our anniversary and Randy’s birthday – a triple celebration in a little over a week!  My sister was in town during the special occasions and she kindly let us go out a couple of times.  We celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary – where has all the time gone?!  I still feel like I am in my mid-twenties, not in my mid-to-upper thirties?!

** Keri participated in her 5th Grade Rock Concert.  What was neat about this performance is the music teachers basically gave the students free reign.  They sang, danced and provided their own accompaniment.  Keri chose to play the marimba  - a most fascinating and large instrument – but she also wishes she could have sang.  The classes all chose modern pop/rock songs (One Republic, Kelly Clarkson, Adele, Coldplay, Mike Posner, K’nann and The Black Eyed Peas) and the teachers even put on a performance when they sang “Don’t Stop Believing.”

** Cory has turned into a reading machine?!  Holy smokes!  That kid will blaze through a book super fast.  It is not uncommon for him to read over a couple of hours a day.  He enjoys both fiction and non-fiction.  He loves to read by the moonlight in the evening after he is already in bed – the lights are out in his room, but his curtains are open so he can see.

** Eli has recently taken an interest in the alphabet letters.  At night he likes me to sit down next to him so he can “count the letters” on my shirt – there’s a “B” for “big boy buster,”  ”H” for “hot” and “N” for nice words.  He also likes to dress up as one of his favorite villains - Shape Bandit from Team Umizoomi. He has a cape, a mask and a shape bag.  Lately he loves any and every show or book that has a clear cut hero and miscreant.

** Keri got a tooth pulled. I was impressed with how brave she was.  And here she is in a lovely picture with yet another loose tooth (which has since fallen out):

** Ari is now fully weaned and mostly sleeps through the night (6:30 pm – 6:30 am).  Hooray!  I also have him down to one nap a day, though it is not a great one yet.  He has perfected his crawl/scoot and he  is wicked fast.  He will stand on his own and he loves to push chairs around our hardwood floor, but I have yet to see him take his first steps.

** Randy has been taking the kids hiking to different places nearby.   I have finally been getting back into a regular gym routine.  Hooray for all of us being healthy and fit!

** I have been learning a lot lately about healing and forgiveness. I have reread this talk by President Uchtdorf several times.

** I have been mentally attempting to prepare and gear up for Summer.  Some things on my mind – planning how to keep my sanity while all the kids are home, trying to figure out how to keep the sibling rivalry (mainly between the older boys) to a minimum, participating in the many summer reading programs, getting ready for family to come visit, mentally and physically preparing for our upcoming road trip, and transitioning and preparing to have a daughter in middle school this Fall.

Now we can bring on June … and hopefully the sun will soon come out to play!

My Mother’s Day Weekend

There is a whole spectrum that exists when it comes to celebrating Mother’s Day.  I know some mothers who loathe this day with a passion so they avoid any and all celebration, and I also know other women who love to be pampered on this special occasion complete with plenty of gifts and breakfast in bed.

I tend to be a pretty simplistic person so when Randy asked me how he could make the day a special one for me, without even thinking or pausing I exclaimed, “I would love a nap and some quiet time.”  [I know, the irony is not lost on me - here I am requesting a break from the very beings that make me a mother .  However, I am a firm believer that when we get some alone time to refuel and recharge our soul, we become better parents.]  Randy lovingly gave me what I wished for, though the nap was more a simple rest since sleep eluded me.

This year I also wanted some pictures taken of me with each of the kids.  That wish was also fulfilled.  We also got a family shot taken since my sister was in town and could play photographer for us.

The kids also showered me with cards and presents.  Eli’s Sunbeam teacher at church baked brownies for the kids to give their moms.  Eli proudly picked out the biggest one to give me.  After he gave it to me, he promptly and sweetly asked for a bite.  I kindly obliged, and I also shared with the rest of the kids.

Cory made a dragonfly tile for me in school.

The art docent he has for the current school year, a parent volunteer, is amazingly talented!  The projects she comes up with are incredible.  Here is the Easter gift he created for the family, a ceramic and gorgeously painted flower.

Cory also filled out this questionnaire at Church about me.  Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

**My mom likes to wear clothes [so she can be modest  - that last phrase was added verbally when I read it aloud in the car on the way home].
**She loves to eat chocolate cake.
**She is smart because she knows the capital of the United States.
**My mom works hard at making food for the family.
**Mommy always tells me to listen.
**It makes my Mommy happy when I listen.
**If she could go on a trip, she would go to California and she would take the family.
**I really love it when my Mom hugs me.
**If I could give my Mommy anything, it would be flowers.

Keri and I were able to attend a Mother and Daughter activity where we made a garden stepping stone together.

Overall, I couldn’t have asked for a better “Mother’s Weekend” – I adored how Randy kept referring to it as that since he wanted me to truly enjoy both days, especially since Sundays can get rather hectic.  It was wonderful to bask in the plentiful sunshine and to spend time with those I love.  I even enjoyed a rare Girls Night Out on Saturday evening as I helped a dear friend celebrate her 30th birthday.  I definitely felt loved and cherished by my family and I feel blessed to have them in my life!  I am grateful for all the joy and laughter they bring me and I am grateful for all the ways they challenge me to grow and become a better person.

Day 37

I must have royally ticked off the person in charge of planetary alignment because my planets have been so incredibly out of line lately that it is almost embarrassing. For the last 37 days in a row, at least one person in our house has been sick. For the last 32 days in a row, at least one person in our house has been on an antibiotic. We are currently on antibiotic #7. But who’s keeping track of all the numbers ?!?

This has seriously been our worst cold/flu/sick season.  Ever.  I think it is time to buy stock options in co-pays and prescription costs. Can one even do that?

I know I have mentioned it before, but writing is therapeutic for me so I am just going to hammer this all out and get it out of my system. We have had two sets of double ear infections, strep, allergy flare ups, conjunctivitis, more ear infections (Randy even got one), sinus infections, coughs that never seem to fully go away and head colds.  And I currently have mastitis.  I spent Sunday afternoon in urgent care so I could get some magic antibiotics to clear it up. I finally started feeling better and apparently I overdid it because my infection is now back on the other side.  I am in so much pain that I succumbed and took the painkillers the doctor prescribed for me.  All I want to do is wean my little one.  I hope it is even possible.

But I am grateful for the tender mercies that I have felt. I am grateful (knock. on. wood. … some serious wood!) that at least we haven’t been hit with stomach bugs.  And I am grateful that quite a few of our ailments haven’t been of the contagious variety.

I am grateful, too, that in between the really down parts of our sicknesses, I have still been able to meet up with some good friends and gab and refuel.  I am grateful, too, that Ari’s current bout of teething and his current head cold seems to be improving a bit.  His coughing has been so bad at night that it keeps him and me up for hours.  I am sure living off of just a few hours of sleep a night is not good for my body as it is trying to fight off its ailments.

And I am grateful, too, for the abundant sunshine we have been blessed with lately.  It warms my body, heart and soul.  And even though the pollen is everywhere right now, I am grateful it is springtime.

So thank you for listening and indulging me while I threw my pity party.  I truly hope this summer we will be germ free.  I look forward to having energy again and being able to get out and about and back to a normal gym routine.

Drinking At The Well

Listening to, watching and soaking up General Conference has become something I crave.  It refuels my body, spirit and soul.

This time around, though,  I was worried I wasn’t going to get as much out of it.   These past several months have been kind of foggy and hazy for me and consequently my cup has become parched.  Very parched.  I don’t feel like I have much to give to anyone, especially my precious kids who need me the most.

But I felt like I was drinking out of a fire hose this weekend, or a deep well that was abundantly filled.

I wasn’t let down.  My cup has been hydrated.  I desperately look forward to studying all the talks and messages I heard one by one and gleaning all I can from them on a more slow, deliberate and individual basis.  This will be the way I can keep these priceless gems at the forefront of my mind.

Here are just some of the things that touched me deeply while I partook:

• Parent with righteousness and tenderness, not anger and fear.
• “What a sacred responsibility Heavenly Father places upon us as parents to partner with Him and helping His choice spirits become what He knows they can become. This divine privilege of raising our children is a much greater responsibility than we can do alone without the Lord’s help. He knows exactly what our children need to know, what they need to do and what they need to be to come back into His presence. He gives mothers and fathers specific instruction and guidance through the scriptures, His prophets and the Holy Ghost.”
• Family time is sacred time and should be protected and respected.
• We know we are teaching our children when without rewards or threats they do what is right.
• There’s a difference between the church and the gospel.
• Some of the most important sacrifices we make are in our family.
• A foundation of faith that is embedded in our hearts takes time to build.
• We aren’t in a race against each other, but against sin.
• Envy is a universal sin and is a mistake that just keeps on giving.
• We shouldn’t be “downing a quart of pickle juice every time someone around [us] has a happy moment.”
• “So be kind.  And be grateful God is kind.  It is a happy way to live.”
• Let the distress of earlier hours, real or imagined, fall away in the abundance of the final reward.
• Forgiveness is real, there is no problem we can’t overcome.
• “It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines. … The Lord paid an unfathomable price for the future He wants you to have.  You should accept the Atoning gift of the Lord Jesus Christ and enjoy the fellowship of His labor.  Don’t delay. It’s getting late. ”
• In the kingdom of God there are no second class citizens.
• You can’t change the past, but you can shape the future.
• Our burdens become lighter when we serve others because our own coffers become enriched.
• Don’t let our focus be taken off our divine mission.
• Have the courage not to judge others.
• Be an example – “What we are speaks so loudly that our children may not hear what we say.”
• Essential family curriculum is the message, ministry and Atonement of Christ.
• Read and actively study our scriptures on a daily basis.
• Reasonable sleep, exercise and good eating habits increase our capacity to receive and understand revelation.
• “Our Heavenly Father did not put us on earth to fail, but to succeed gloriously.”
• “Stop it.”  That is when it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges or wanting to cause harm.
• “Each day ours is the challenge to access the power of the Atonement so we can truly change.”
• When you come across someone drowning, do you offer to help or just jump in?
• “There is no happiness without service and there is no service greater than that which converts the home to a divine institution and which promotes and preserves family life. “
• The most important cause of our lifetime is our family.
• We need to prioritize and do things in the right order.
• Teach with love and patience.
• “Wise parents prepare their children to get along without them.”
• Help our children establish their own connection to heaven.  They need to depend on the Lord, not us.
• “Come follow me” is an invitation and a daily duty.
• Fill your homes with love and courtesy.

This General Conference also brought about a change in the Relief Society General Presidency. I am looking forward to the leadership of Linda K. Burton and her counselors, but Julie. B. Beck will surely be missed.  She has had a profound impact on my life.

Here are a few quotes from her that are constantly percolating through my mind:

“Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home.” ~ Julie B. Beck

“A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. …  But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently.

“The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. …

Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things.  For instance, mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children. … Because personal revelation is a constantly renewable source of strength, it is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times.” ~ Julie B. Beck

“In order to prioritize time wisely, I learned something from my father-in-law years ago. He was a  steel-worker and spent his life working three different shifts. He either worked the day shift, the afternoon shift, or the night shift. As a young mother I realized one time that I was working all three shifts, and that’s why I was so tired. We can’t do all things all at once, and we have to be careful and safeguard our shifts.

“As I have talked to young mothers and mothers with children at home, they tell me that their most important shift to be at the top of their game, to be the strongest lioness at the gate is the ‘swing shift.’ That’s the afternoon shift. That’s when everyone comes home hungry, tired, needy, and less lovable. It is when you are hungry, tired, needy, and less loveable. It is also the time of day when people are more teachable, when they are most grateful.

“Remember that influence and power come when we prioritize correctly. If you spend time elsewhere, you don’t have it to give. … Ask ‘Where do I need to prioritize my time?’ and ‘When do I have to be at the top of my game?’ I have learned that a good woman with the help of the Lord can usually work two to two and a half shifts. However, no one can work all three shifts. You have to prioritize where you are going to spend your energy.” ~ Julie B. Beck

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Here are a couple of previous posts where I wrote about Sister Julie B. Beck’s words working in my everyday life:

Clinging

Working The Swing Shift

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 And lastly, here is an excellent blog post  from Mormon Women where you can read more touching tributes and words of gratitude for the work Sister Beck, Sister Allred and Sister Thompson performed while they served in the General Relief Society Presidency.