My 2013 Word of the Year

My brain is trying to wrap itself around the fact that 2013 is truly here.  2013 is present day life right now, not something still in the future.

At the beginning of December I started thinking about what I wanted my new word of the year to be.  I pondered it for awhile and thought I had chosen it.  There were a couple in the running.  But then about a week ago a different word worked its way into my mind and it has not budged.

It is a powerful word.  A strong word.  A word that has a lot of potential if I fully embrace it in the manner I envision it.

My word for 2013?

This definition captures the essence of what it means to me rather well.

In particular, the words “process” and “potentiality” jump out at me.

This year I want to focus more on the process and progress I am making in my life, and not so much on a-once-attained-and-then-you’re-done kind of goal.  For me “becoming” focuses on the journey – the potholes, the speed bumps, the coastings, the uphills, the downhills, the joy rides – and not the final destination.

Becoming is a present tense word, not past tense or future tense.  It is optimistic.  It is hopeful.  It is forgiving and tolerant.  It is merciful. It is flexible.  It is open minded, resourceful, respectful and accepting.

By choosing the word becoming, I feel like it means I am embracing all of me more fully – my faults, flaws, mistakes, blunders, successes, idiosyncrasies, advancements and everything in between.  Choosing the word becoming means accepting myself while on this journey of life, and not just the end-of-journey me.  It means embracing the me who dusts herself off and journeys on with courage and determination, even if it is a bit timidly at times, as opposed to wallowing in the dust while on the ground and staying put because I got dirty or marred.

It means filling my bucket with Drops of Awesome.   It means remembering “you made the right choice once. And in that moment you were the person you want to be and that is a triumph. … Drop of Awesome!”

I want to focus more on these moments so I can become the person I want to become, the person I know I can be, as opposed to allowing the negative self talk battling it out in my brain to bring me down into despair and discouragement. “[God] wants us to feel joy. Not later, when we no longer make mistakes, but right now.” 

This year I want to work on more truly accepting myself as who I am and where I am in my life journey.  I need to remember that this life is a process and I won’t be complete until its done … and more importantly I won’t be complete until after the Atonement of Christ has made it so.  I need to recognize that I am a work-in-progress and then become joyful of this state of being I am in, of where I am right now in present day life.

This means:

• Becoming more joyful.
• Becoming a more compassionate listener.
• Becoming calmer and less of a reactive and yelly mom.
• Becoming more purposeful in my relationships with my children.
• Becoming less of a night owl.
• Becoming more comfortable in my own skin  - physically, emotionally, and intellectually.  In other words embracing me for who I am and then becoming OK with the fact that that me might be different than most people.
• Becoming more healthy and fit, and not as reliant on and addicted to sugar.
• Becoming more willing to share and give of myself.
• Becoming more aware of those around me.
• Becoming more gentle.
• Becoming more gracious.
• Becoming more charitable – more patient, more long suffering and less easily offended.
• Becoming one with my Savior.

These might sound like a lot of lofty goals, but they aren’t as long as I remain steadily pointed in the right direction and then accept the stumbles I know I will have along the way.  For me it is learning how to live in the moment, learning how to relish the small victories and not letting the bumps keep me down.

In reality it is the process of moving in the right direction, one baby step at a time.  One Drop of Awesome at a time until I need a new bucket to hold all the drops I have collected.

Indeed it is becoming.

I hope everyone is having a healthy, happy and purposeful start to their new year.

Drinking At The Well

Listening to, watching and soaking up General Conference has become something I crave.  It refuels my body, spirit and soul.

This time around, though,  I was worried I wasn’t going to get as much out of it.   These past several months have been kind of foggy and hazy for me and consequently my cup has become parched.  Very parched.  I don’t feel like I have much to give to anyone, especially my precious kids who need me the most.

But I felt like I was drinking out of a fire hose this weekend, or a deep well that was abundantly filled.

I wasn’t let down.  My cup has been hydrated.  I desperately look forward to studying all the talks and messages I heard one by one and gleaning all I can from them on a more slow, deliberate and individual basis.  This will be the way I can keep these priceless gems at the forefront of my mind.

Here are just some of the things that touched me deeply while I partook:

• Parent with righteousness and tenderness, not anger and fear.
• “What a sacred responsibility Heavenly Father places upon us as parents to partner with Him and helping His choice spirits become what He knows they can become. This divine privilege of raising our children is a much greater responsibility than we can do alone without the Lord’s help. He knows exactly what our children need to know, what they need to do and what they need to be to come back into His presence. He gives mothers and fathers specific instruction and guidance through the scriptures, His prophets and the Holy Ghost.”
• Family time is sacred time and should be protected and respected.
• We know we are teaching our children when without rewards or threats they do what is right.
• There’s a difference between the church and the gospel.
• Some of the most important sacrifices we make are in our family.
• A foundation of faith that is embedded in our hearts takes time to build.
• We aren’t in a race against each other, but against sin.
• Envy is a universal sin and is a mistake that just keeps on giving.
• We shouldn’t be “downing a quart of pickle juice every time someone around [us] has a happy moment.”
• “So be kind.  And be grateful God is kind.  It is a happy way to live.”
• Let the distress of earlier hours, real or imagined, fall away in the abundance of the final reward.
• Forgiveness is real, there is no problem we can’t overcome.
• “It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines. … The Lord paid an unfathomable price for the future He wants you to have.  You should accept the Atoning gift of the Lord Jesus Christ and enjoy the fellowship of His labor.  Don’t delay. It’s getting late. ”
• In the kingdom of God there are no second class citizens.
• You can’t change the past, but you can shape the future.
• Our burdens become lighter when we serve others because our own coffers become enriched.
• Don’t let our focus be taken off our divine mission.
• Have the courage not to judge others.
• Be an example – “What we are speaks so loudly that our children may not hear what we say.”
• Essential family curriculum is the message, ministry and Atonement of Christ.
• Read and actively study our scriptures on a daily basis.
• Reasonable sleep, exercise and good eating habits increase our capacity to receive and understand revelation.
• “Our Heavenly Father did not put us on earth to fail, but to succeed gloriously.”
• “Stop it.”  That is when it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges or wanting to cause harm.
• “Each day ours is the challenge to access the power of the Atonement so we can truly change.”
• When you come across someone drowning, do you offer to help or just jump in?
• “There is no happiness without service and there is no service greater than that which converts the home to a divine institution and which promotes and preserves family life. “
• The most important cause of our lifetime is our family.
• We need to prioritize and do things in the right order.
• Teach with love and patience.
• “Wise parents prepare their children to get along without them.”
• Help our children establish their own connection to heaven.  They need to depend on the Lord, not us.
• “Come follow me” is an invitation and a daily duty.
• Fill your homes with love and courtesy.

This General Conference also brought about a change in the Relief Society General Presidency. I am looking forward to the leadership of Linda K. Burton and her counselors, but Julie. B. Beck will surely be missed.  She has had a profound impact on my life.

Here are a few quotes from her that are constantly percolating through my mind:

“Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home.” ~ Julie B. Beck

“A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. …  But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently.

“The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. …

Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things.  For instance, mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children. … Because personal revelation is a constantly renewable source of strength, it is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times.” ~ Julie B. Beck

“In order to prioritize time wisely, I learned something from my father-in-law years ago. He was a  steel-worker and spent his life working three different shifts. He either worked the day shift, the afternoon shift, or the night shift. As a young mother I realized one time that I was working all three shifts, and that’s why I was so tired. We can’t do all things all at once, and we have to be careful and safeguard our shifts.

“As I have talked to young mothers and mothers with children at home, they tell me that their most important shift to be at the top of their game, to be the strongest lioness at the gate is the ‘swing shift.’ That’s the afternoon shift. That’s when everyone comes home hungry, tired, needy, and less lovable. It is when you are hungry, tired, needy, and less loveable. It is also the time of day when people are more teachable, when they are most grateful.

“Remember that influence and power come when we prioritize correctly. If you spend time elsewhere, you don’t have it to give. … Ask ‘Where do I need to prioritize my time?’ and ‘When do I have to be at the top of my game?’ I have learned that a good woman with the help of the Lord can usually work two to two and a half shifts. However, no one can work all three shifts. You have to prioritize where you are going to spend your energy.” ~ Julie B. Beck

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Here are a couple of previous posts where I wrote about Sister Julie B. Beck’s words working in my everyday life:

Clinging

Working The Swing Shift

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 And lastly, here is an excellent blog post  from Mormon Women where you can read more touching tributes and words of gratitude for the work Sister Beck, Sister Allred and Sister Thompson performed while they served in the General Relief Society Presidency.

My 2012 Word Of The Year

WORD OF THE YEAR:  This word is supposed to guide you during the year.  It is supposed to inspire you.  It is supposed to help you better define your life.  It is supposed to help you grow.  It is supposed to motivate you.  It is supposed to remind you of your priorities.

Up.

Embrace.

Temperance.

These have been some of my words of the year in the past.

My word for the year 2012?

Gentleness is one of the manifestations of a virtuous person. That is why many of us love to go along with gentle people. Ladies love a gentleman’s comfort; children love the mildness and tenderness of gentle parents; a gentle friend is always there to calm you; and a gentle leader is one that gives honor and respect.

A gentle person is one who is self-sacrificing, humble, kind, just, loving, peaceful, forgiving, joyful and understanding. They are not selfish, proud, rude, iniquitous, arrogant, violent, insecure and ignorant. This only means that they possesses not only one virtue that makes them that, but they possesses several great virtues that work as one to make them a gentle person.

Gentleness is not only seen in a persons actions, it can also be demonstrated in their thoughts, words and intentions. This is because it lives deep within them. Once a person is gentle, they also have a gentle root and foundation. Moreover, they also bear the fruits and consequences of gentleness. These fruits include peace, harmony, joy and thankfulness.

To achieve gentleness, you need to have a great power. This must be a power that can bind a power. You need to be stronger. You must have a great strength that can manage your own strength. Furthermore, you must have a self that can control yourself, or in other word, self-control. This also means that you must become your inner self, rather than your external self.

Finding your inner self is simply finding your pure self. This is yourself when you are not yet corrupted by the negative forces that are in this world. These forces include pride, wrath, misery and insecurity. Therefore, to purify yourself and to have gentleness in your mind, heart, mouth and actions, you need to remove all those dark qualities that have contaminated your life since you were born on Earth.

Being gentle sounds simple, but so hard to do. You need to have a great power to do that. The greater power that can overcome the power that makes you rough is one that is more eternal – one that lasts longer and even forever. That power is found in your spirit. It is the spirit that comes from God, which pulls all the spiritual things you need to possess gentleness. It is the spirit that is founded by love.

Love is such a great thing. It’s hard to practice; it’s hard to be consistent. But if you want to achieve greater powers, which give you the ability to do greater things (such as being gentle), you need to practice harder in loving. This is the secret to gentleness: have all the virtues that support it, such as joy, peace, thankfulness, compassion and patience. Then bind them all with love, which connects them all together to work us one… to work in making you a truly gentle person.

Finally, we must always remember that being gentle is greater than being rough. Being self-controlled is harder than being violent. This only means that living in gentleness is a life of greater people. So if you want to be great, be gentle… and if you want to be gentle, be great. ~ secretcontents.com

I want to be more gentle with my kids.  More gentle with my spouse.  More gentle with myself.  More gentle with others.  More gentle in all my relationships.

I want to use a more gentle voice.

I want to be more gentle with the way I use my precious time.

I want to be more gentle and respectful with the body I have been blessed with.  I need to get more sleep, be more fit and fill my body with more healthy foods.

Do you have a word of the year you would like to share?

I hope everyone is having a healthy, happy and purposeful start to their new year.

Becoming More Sincere

While reading the other day, I came across a story about the word sincere.  It fascinated me.

“Of all the kinds and colors of marble, the milky white Carrara is the rarest and most costly.

“Sculptors who lived during the Golden Age of Tuscan Sculpture claimed that it was the purest substance God ever created, and they longed for the feel of it beneath their hands. Any sculptor who was commissioned by a wealthy patron of the arts to create a statue of Carrara marble felt himself to be highly favored.

“Sculpting in marble was neither fast nor easy. In addition to innate talent, it required both careful analysis and tedious, backbreaking work. The artist would have to study the block of marble to determine its essential nature. He would then need to discover the direction of the grain and ascertain the presence of any flaws. He had to make careful and precise plans and drawings which were in accord with the structure of the marble itself. Then, with consummate care, he would begin to chip off the superfluous marble, layer by layer, until he revealed the form he had envisioned.

“Any mistake could be disastrous. If the sculptor went against the grain he could crack the marble; if he struck a blow with too much force he could mash the crystals beneath the surface, creating holes and ruining the sculpture. This seldom happened with the greatest of sculptors, who labored with infinite care and supreme sensitivity. Those with lesser talent and little patience, however, would occasionally be confronted with such a disaster. Rather than admit their blunder and lose their commission, some would resort to subterfuge.

“Soft, white wax, skillfully applied, could usually disguise the damage. In outward appearance the sculpture appeared to be flawless and the defect was seldom discovered until well after the work had been accepted and the commission paid. As the practice became more common, patrons of the arts became more discerning. They refused to accept a piece of marble statuary until after a careful examination had been made to ensure that it was undamaged and contained no wax-covered flaws. The highest standard of excellence for works of white Carrara marble came to include the distinction, ‘sine cere,’ meaning ‘without wax.’

“Eventually these two words merged to become a single word, ‘sincere,’ meaning ‘pure, unadulterated, whole, intact, uninjured.’ When the word was used to refer to marble works of art, the emphasis was on the fundamental wholeness of the statue, not just on its superficial or outward appearance.

“The statue was expected to be good, not just to look good.”
~ Benjamin and Meredith Martinez

This story inspires me and motivates me to want to become more sincere in all I do in life.  It encourages me to want to be a more sincere mother, a more sincere wife, a more sincere daughter and sister, a more sincere friend, and a more sincere daughter of God.

It makes me want to be more sincere to myself, to not be afraid to be the person I am and to become the person I know I am supposed to become.

It makes me want to embrace changes I know I need to make.  Changes that will help me to become  a more proactive person instead of living my life haphazardly at times.  Changes that might be hard and might take a long time and a lot of effort.  Changes that I might always have to be working on.

But in the end, these changes will be worth it.  The relationships they will help me build will be priceless.

My 2010 Word of the Year

While reading blogs a few years ago, I came across the idea of choosing a “word of the year” for yourself.  This word is supposed to guide you during the year.  It is supposed to inspire you.  It is supposed to help you better define your life.  It is supposed to help you grow.  It is supposed to motivate you.  It is supposed to remind you of your priorities.

For the last few years I have chosen a word, but I never fully committed to it like I should have.  However, this year I am going to fully embrace the word I choose.

My word for the year 2010?  Temperance.

There is so much that comes to my mind when I think of this word.  Temperance in my attitude.  Temperance in the way I react to things. Temperance when it comes to raising my kids. Temperance in my finances.  Temperance in my eating habits.

I am excited to see where this word takes me this year.

And here is what helped inspire me to choose my word:

A few years ago, I was driving home from work when a large semitruck, traveling in the opposite direction, lost one of its dual tires. The tire flew over the median separating our lanes. It came bouncing down my side of the freeway. Cars were swerving in both directions, drivers not knowing which direction the tire would bounce next. I dodged left when I should have dodged right, and the tire took its final bounce right on the corner of my windshield.

A friend called my wife to inform her of the accident. She told me later that her first thought was of lacerations from shattered glass. Indeed, I was covered with beads of broken glass but did not suffer a single scratch. It was definitely not because of my driving skills; rather, it was because the windshield of my little car was made of tempered glass.

Tempered glass, like tempered steel, undergoes a well-controlled heating process which increases strength. Thus, when tempered glass is under stress, it will not easily break into jagged shards that can injure.

Likewise, a temperate soul—one who is humble and full of love—is also a person of increased spiritual strength. With increased spiritual strength, we are able to develop self-mastery and to live with moderation. We learn to control, or temper, our anger, vanity, and pride. With increased spiritual strength, we can protect ourselves from the dangerous excesses and destructive addictions of today’s world. …

When Jesus Christ, the greatest of all, suffered for us to the extent that He bled from every pore, He did not express anger or revile in suffering. With unsurpassed self-restraint, or temperance, His thoughts were not of Himself but of you and of me. And then, in humility and full of love, He said, “Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.” ~ Kent D. Watson

Do you have a word of the year you would like to embrace?

I hope everyone is having a healthy, happy and peaceful start to their new year.

The Value Of Work

“Work kept us from dwelling too much on the difficulties of our circumstances. Although our situation didn’t change overnight, it did change. That’s the thing about work. If we simply keep at it—steady and constant—things certainly will improve. …

“The Lord doesn’t expect us to work harder than we are able. He doesn’t (nor should we) compare our efforts to those of others. Our Heavenly Father asks only that we do the best we can—that we work according to our full capacity, however great or small that may be.

“Work is an antidote for anxiety, an ointment for sorrow, and a doorway to possibility. Whatever our circumstances in life … let us do the best we can and cultivate a reputation for excellence in all that we do. Let us set our minds and bodies to the glorious opportunity for work that each new day presents.

“When our wagon gets stuck in the mud, God is much more likely to assist the [person] who gets out to push than the [person]who merely raises his voice in prayer—no matter how eloquent the oration. President Thomas S. Monson put it this way:  ‘It is not enough to want to make the effort and to say we’ll make the effort. … It’s in the doing, not just the thinking, that we accomplish our goals. If we constantly put our goals off, we will never see them fulfilled.’

“Work can be ennobling and fulfilling, but remember Jacob’s warning not to ‘spend … your labor for that which cannot satisfy.’ If we devote ourselves to the pursuit of worldly wealth and the glitter of public recognition at the expense of our families and our spiritual growth, we will discover soon enough that we have made a fool’s bargain. The righteous work we do within the walls of our homes is most sacred; its benefits are eternal in nature. It cannot be delegated. It is the foundation of our work.

“Remember, we are only temporary travelers in this world. Let us not devote our God-given talents and energies solely to setting earthly anchors, but rather let us spend our days growing spiritual wings.” ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf

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During this Thanksgiving season and during this time of great uncertainty as we strive to make several major decisions for our family, I am beyond grateful for these wise words of wisdom uttered by a man inspired of God.

It fills me with some much needed hope.

Listening To The Beat Of My Own Drum

This recent picture captures the personality of Cory perfectly.

Here he is on a relatively sunny Spring day in the Pacific Northwest wearing his rain boots, his Dad’s baseball cap backwards and watching Halloween Diego in the middle of April.

Cory could care less what other people think of him.  He simply does what brings him joy and he does this with great passion and enthusiasm.  He truly has embraced who he is.

I hope he never loses this rare perspective.

And I think I need to learn a valuable lesson from him.

Why is it that so many women, especially mothers with young kids, are so hard on themselves?  Why are we constantly berating ourselves?

Why are we  forever comparing ourselves to everyone else?  And when we do compare ourselves, why do we compare our worst selves with the best of others?

Why do we constantly allow ourselves to indulge in this incessant negative self talk?  Why must we focus on the few things we might not be doing well instead of focusing on the myriad of talents we have been blessed with?  We truly do live abundant lives, but why is that abundance always so obscured?

Just the other day while I was waiting in the car with my two boys for Keri to get out of school, I noticed myself engaging in such negative self talk, talk that serves no purpose whatsoever yet most of us do it.

“Look at all those other moms walking to the playground to pick up their little ones.  They are incredibly thin and their jeans look so flattering on them.  Look at all those other moms, their children behave so wonderfully.  Their kids stay close to them instead of running off down the street.  Look at all those other moms, they are so cheerful and they know how to be more flexible, fun and carefree instead of so rigid and stern.”

This is definitely a silly conversation I had in my head, but there are many days where this is simply how I feel.  But why?

There are probably a gazillion true answers to this simple question, but often times I think the problem lies in the fact that we don’t fully embrace the unique drum we have been given to beat.  We are too worried and preoccupied with all the other rhythms and patterns beating around us that we don’t focus on the gift we have been given.

Instead we minimize what we know deep down is best for us and what truly brings us joy and soon enough, that quiet voice we used to hear so loudly when we were a child is now completely swallowed up by all the other voices coming from the hustling and bustling world surrounding us.

And because we are so focused on all the other voices, we begin the negative self talk.

Lately I have been trying to reawaken and find my own inner voice and to embrace what it tells me.  I have been trying to listen to the beat of my own drum and to find joy in that rhythm I can call my own.

But learning to engage in positive self talk is not always an easy task, and it is definitely not something I can do on my own.  Thankfully I have the Lord on my side and I know that through His grace I can learn to see myself and hear myself the way He sees me.  He can help me find a way to better pattern my thoughts, but I know it will take time and practice.

Here is a fabulous analogy I recently read on this subject:

“You are standing at the edge of the jungle and know that you must find a way through it. You notice that a path, well worn and easy to travel, has already been cut through the undergrowth for you. But then you notice signs warning of dangers lurking at the end of the path, and even though it appears to be the easiest route, you determine that it might be best to forge your own path. You pull out a machete and start hacking through the thick growth and underbrush. It’s tough work! When you glance up and again notice the path that has already been cut, you become discouraged. But you persevere, eventually carving out your own path. You use it frequently as you traverse the jungle, and in time it becomes the obvious, preferred path. Meanwhile, the original well-worn path—the one with danger at the end—deteriorates from lack of use.

“The jungle, of course, represents our brains; the initial well-worn path is the route of our undesirable thoughts. The new path represents our efforts to forge new and righteous thoughts, habits, and behaviors.” ~ Bruce K. Fordham, “Think About What You Are Thinking About”

Life is definitely about us traveling down many different paths in our life, and the older I become, the more I want to carve out the perfect path that is meant for me and the ones that I love.  Focusing on this goal with true charity, faith and hope is the key.

Life is a journey.

Life is a race.

But there is no reason for us to always be sprinting.  Some days “all I can do is face the finish line.”

And as long as I am giving my very best effort to the race, and moving to the beat of the drum I have been given, then that is all that matters.

A Triumphant Easter

I hope and pray we all have a glorious Easter weekend and that we can each find a moment to quietly ponder the sacred and blessed event we celebrate so we can become more committed “disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

“My Child” by David Bowman

“One of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said, ‘I will not leave you comfortless. [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].’ …

“As we approach this holy week … may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ ‘at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death,’ for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone.” ~ Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “None Were With Him”

“Security” by David Bowman

“Consider the Lilies” by Simon Dewey

Happy Easter!

Let Go Of The Guilt, There Are Seasons In Life

The “seasons” of a butterfly.

“Women today are encouraged by some to have it all: money, travel, marriage, motherhood, and separate careers in the world.  …

“However, you cannot do all these things well at the same time. You cannot eat all of the pastries in the baking shop at once. You will get a tummyache. You cannot be a 100-percent wife, a 100-percent mother, a 100-percent Church worker, a 100-percent career person, and a 100-percent public-service person at the same time. How can all of these roles be coordinated? I suggest that you can have it sequentially.

“Sequentially is a big word meaning to do things one at a time at different times. The book of Ecclesiastes says: ‘To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under … heaven.’” ~ James E. Faust, “How Near To The Angels”

Deep, down inside I have always known that life is meant to be lived in seasons.  But why do we always feel so guilty when we can’t do everything all at once?

Are we meant to mother young kids and be the PTA President and do an obscene amount of volunteer service and be the perfect size 4 wife who cooks gourmet meals every night while never raising her voice at her kids who know how to make their beds and fold their own laundry and clean the rest of the house by the age of 6?

No.

Just like eating ALL the pastries in the pastry shop, we will get a “tummyache” … most likely in the form of  an ulcer, or more like several ulcers.

If we take on this much responsibility, we won’t be able to do anything, even if we only try to do 10% of the work for everything we put on our plate.

In order to follow this wise advice we have be given about living our life in the current season and living our life sequentially, we must constantly remind ourselves of choosing between good, better, best. Armed with this information, we will then be able to better make the myriad of important decisions life is constantly throwing at us.

It is imperative we simplify our life and the lives of our kids.   BUT we need to learn to be OK with that simplification.

We must learn to let go of the guilt.  We must realize it is OK to not be everything and everyone all at once … or even everything and everyone throughout the course of a lifetime.

And that is exactly what I did today.

I set aside many of the hats I am wearing and spent the afternoon with my family at a local Science Center.  My husband and I ignored the emails, the phone calls and the many other things vying for our attention and instead we focused our time on our family.

We were able to live in the now and see all the awe inspiring details it has to offer.

While at the butterfly exhibit today I learned some of these beautiful insects have a life span of only a few days.   Others only live for a few months … and they are perfectly OK with this.

That struck me.

Life really is short.  And that means I want to enjoy it, but I want to enjoy the fullness of each of its seasons, in sequence.

I don’t want to be so busy filling up each season with a tiny bit of this and a tiny bit of that while I am rushing around like a crazy and irrational person who is not accomplishing much of anything well, let alone mediocrely.

I want to slow down and not always be in such a hurry so I can see the vibrant colors of the seasons I am living.

Keri focusing on the enjoyment of the climbing wall.

Me focusing on being silly with the kids.

Cory focusing on the joy of the wind tunnel.

How Well Can You Fly It?

“I have been flying many kinds of aircraft for the last 30 years, both in the United States and in Latin American countries. Not too long ago when I had returned to the [United] States after an absence of some years, a very dear friend offered me the use of his new [airplane]. …

“We discussed my qualifications of being covered under his insurance policy, and it turned out that I needed a check ride with a qualified inspector, as it had been some time since I had flown that particular type of plane.

“The arrangements were made, and I met the inspector at the side of the airplane at the appointed hour with my licenses from the USA, Argentina, Paraguay, and Ecuador, and logbooks showing flights in Cessna 310s across jungles, mountains, deserts, international boundaries, etc. He smiled calmly but was unimpressed and said, ‘I’ve heard about you, and I have no doubt about how much flying you have done, but I have to assume that those flights were when nothing went wrong. Now let’s fire up this bird and see how well you fly it when everything goes wrong!’

“For the next hour he made everything go wrong! He simulated every emergency he could think of. He turned things off that should have been on. He turned things on that should have been off. He tried to create disorientation or panic. He really wanted to know how well I could fly when everything did go wrong! In the end he climbed out, signed my logbook, and announced, ‘You’re okay. …’

“One of the purposes of this life is to be tested, tried, and proven to see how well we will serve the Lord. The Prophet Joseph [Smith] said that we would be tested to see if we would serve and remain faithful through all hazards. We knew before we came that there would be many adverse circumstances to test us: accidents, sickness, and disease to prove us; temptations and distractions to try us; disappointments, discouragements, reverses, failures, and all kinds of situations to determine our character. …

“The question still is: How well can you fly it when everything goes wrong? How well can you live when every test, every trial, every proof of your faithfulness is exacted of you?”   ~ Robert E. Wells

Right now I feel like I am in the middle of many of those “all kinds of situations.”

Disappointments?  Yes.

Discouragements?  Yes.

Reverses?  Yes.

Distractions?  Yes, yes, yes.

Like many of you, my husband and I are currently trying to juggle way too many spinning plates: trying to finish a second Master’s degree before Rudy’s funding is up on February 28th; trying to find a way for Rudy to still maybe get the PhD he has been working on for the last five years; managing and loving three young children in a very small apartment; serving in Church callings; trying to find a job; wondering if we should take a job that has been offered – the job itself is a dream job for Rudy, but the pay is horrendous.

My head hurts trying to even process all of this to explain it in a simple post.

But then on the other hand, if I pause for a brief moment, and just sit still … very, very still … I realize that my life is overflowing with blessings from the Lord. On a daily basis, on an hourly basis, He is granting me tender mercies.  He is strengthening me.  I can feel it amidst all the chaos.

But I need to hold onto these thoughts for it is these thoughts and flashes of insight that will sustain me through this crazy character building ride.

So how well am I flying right now through all these hazards?

I think I need to make some attitude adjustments.

Becoming More Childlike

During the most recent General Conference meeting which our Church held, my seven year old daughter, Keri, diligently took notes.  Did we ask her to do so?  No.  She made this decision all on her own.

Not only did she take notes on what the leaders had to say, but she also wrote down some of her own personal thoughts which she later shared with Rudy and me.

Choose the right.

Read the scriptures.

Follow the prophet every day.

Be nice to everybody.

Love other people.

If you want to do something fun but you have to do something else that is not fun, go and do it.

Be happy.

When somebody does something nice to you say thank you.

Be thankful.

Forgive other people.

Trust Jesus.

Don’t tell lies.

If somebody does something nice to you do something nice to them.

Teach the gospel to other people.

If you’re tempted to do something wrong don’t do it.

If you do something bad to someone say sorry.

If someone gets hurt go and help them even if you don’t know them.

If you want something and your mom says no don’t get mad.

If you need to be quiet but you want to be loud be quiet.

Don’t yell at other people.

Be a good example.

Keep a promise.

Be cheerful.

If you are at a place that you really like and somebody says that you need to go home don’t get mad.

Listen to Jesus.

Sometime go to the Temple.

Jesus loves us and Heavenly Father does too.

Have faith.

When you get a present say thank you.

There is so much I can learn from this sweet and precious child of mine.  She has such a deep and abiding testimony which inspires me to want to be a better mother to her and her siblings.

A few of the thoughts she shared also shed some light on things I need to change about my parenting behavior.  For example, I need to learn to not to shush my kids so often and I need to learn to find more ways to say “yes” to them.

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And on a completely separate note, many people are asking me how Cory’s haircut went.  It was a raging success!  Cory even allowed them to use clippers in the beginning.  That in and of itself amazed me.

For the most part Cory sat still, ate his Skittles and watched the show they put on for him.  Of course he got a little fidgety towards the end, but then the hair stylist gave him the blow dryer to play with while she finished up and that kept him distracted.

**Cory sporting his new short look … extra short so we don’t have to get it cut for awhile.**

Since he did so well on his haircutting adventure, afterwards we went to the toy store so he could pick out a new $0.99 Matchbox police car.  Of course that is what he is clutching in his hand in the picture.