The “seasons” of a butterfly.
“Women today are encouraged by some to have it all: money, travel, marriage, motherhood, and separate careers in the world. …
“However, you cannot do all these things well at the same time. You cannot eat all of the pastries in the baking shop at once. You will get a tummyache. You cannot be a 100-percent wife, a 100-percent mother, a 100-percent Church worker, a 100-percent career person, and a 100-percent public-service person at the same time. How can all of these roles be coordinated? I suggest that you can have it sequentially.
“Sequentially is a big word meaning to do things one at a time at different times. The book of Ecclesiastes says: ‘To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under … heaven.’” ~ James E. Faust, “How Near To The Angels”
Deep, down inside I have always known that life is meant to be lived in seasons. But why do we always feel so guilty when we can’t do everything all at once?
Are we meant to mother young kids and be the PTA President and do an obscene amount of volunteer service and be the perfect size 4 wife who cooks gourmet meals every night while never raising her voice at her kids who know how to make their beds and fold their own laundry and clean the rest of the house by the age of 6?
No.
Just like eating ALL the pastries in the pastry shop, we will get a “tummyache” … most likely in the form of an ulcer, or more like several ulcers.
If we take on this much responsibility, we won’t be able to do anything, even if we only try to do 10% of the work for everything we put on our plate.
In order to follow this wise advice we have be given about living our life in the current season and living our life sequentially, we must constantly remind ourselves of choosing between good, better, best. Armed with this information, we will then be able to better make the myriad of important decisions life is constantly throwing at us.
It is imperative we simplify our life and the lives of our kids. BUT we need to learn to be OK with that simplification.
We must learn to let go of the guilt. We must realize it is OK to not be everything and everyone all at once … or even everything and everyone throughout the course of a lifetime.
And that is exactly what I did today.
I set aside many of the hats I am wearing and spent the afternoon with my family at a local Science Center. My husband and I ignored the emails, the phone calls and the many other things vying for our attention and instead we focused our time on our family.
We were able to live in the now and see all the awe inspiring details it has to offer.
While at the butterfly exhibit today I learned some of these beautiful insects have a life span of only a few days. Others only live for a few months … and they are perfectly OK with this.
That struck me.
Life really is short. And that means I want to enjoy it, but I want to enjoy the fullness of each of its seasons, in sequence.
I don’t want to be so busy filling up each season with a tiny bit of this and a tiny bit of that while I am rushing around like a crazy and irrational person who is not accomplishing much of anything well, let alone mediocrely.
I want to slow down and not always be in such a hurry so I can see the vibrant colors of the seasons I am living.
Keri focusing on the enjoyment of the climbing wall.
Me focusing on being silly with the kids.
Cory focusing on the joy of the wind tunnel.
And a caterpillar could never do what a butterfly is meant to do and it shouldn’t be expected to, because it’s not time. In its season, its purpose is to prepare for what it’s later supposed to do.
On that note, I’ve wondered a lot why Jesus didn’t start his formal ministry until he was 30 years old. But there had to have been so much personal preparation that he went through as he “continued from grace to grace, until he received a fulness”. When it was time, he fulfilled his purposes and then he was gone, just like the butterflies.
Maybe that’s what we should focus on; What are our own purposes? When we figure that out, then I think we will be as content as the caterpillar in our preparation and as content as the butterfly in fulfilling our ultimate purposes.
Oh so timely…I ran around like crazy today, only to have my “to do” list get longer and longer. Thank goodness for tomorrow
I’m so glad you were all able to “get away” and spend the day together. I love your hair flying up in the air!
I love that quote and so needed to read it.
Thank you for your wise words.
Your posts are always so inspiring. I am on of those people that tries to eat the whole pastry shop at once and forgets to enjoy each pastry over a span of time. What a great reminder that there is a time and season for all things.
I love that picture of you with your hair flying in the air- so fun.
Wow!! How right you are. I think about all the things I should do, get frustrated, don’t do anything, and then feel guilty about it. Or I’m trying to do everything, and still feel guilty. How freeing it would be just to be able, like you said, to slow down and do things one at a time, and let go of the guilt!!
I needed that post, thank you! ;0)
Love this post. I think I’ll recycle your quote. I try to tell myself all the time that if I accomplish ONE goal everyday (emphasis is one area), then that’s progress. We need not be so hard on ourselves.
I love your comparison to the butterflies. Only in allowing ourselves to live in the season we are in, can we grasp the opportunities at that time that will transform us into a butterfly.
What a great post! The image of the butterfly will be one I hope I never forget…it’s not how much time we have here, but how we spend it…well done!
I completely agree with you. I have been having some moments of my own where I’ve been realizing the importance of taking time to be in the here and now. And letting some things go. It takes a concious effort some days, but I hope I am getting better at it.
You are amazing!
Looks like you guys had a good time. I’m glad you were able to enjoy the here and now.
Awe inspiring as usual. Nice hair! Wind tunnel? I am now learning to enjoy the chapter I am in. The raising kids one went REALLY fast as I am looking back. Love to you.
That Good, Better Best Talk has always been a favorite. I needed to visit it again so thanks for the reminder. Each day we do need to think about what our season in life is and enjoy it.
Way to go! Everyone looks so happy! I love the hair picture. You are a very wise mother. Thanks for the great reminder to live for the now and enjoy it.
I could do with a little of that kind of focus myself…
next time the bishop tries to give me yet another calling I’m going to start telling him “I’m sorry, it’s not my season for that.”
Sounds like the beginnings of a wonderful talk!
It sounds like the start of a whole new outlook on life – and many, many pleasant memories with your family =)
I love the last picture! It really made me smile.
NICE hair picture there
You kind of look like an 80s rocker or something.
Loved your post! It is exactly true! I have spent the last several years trying to be the best mom while working 50 plus hours/week, trying to keep my house clean, trying to cook the best dinners, trying to be skinny! The list goes on and on. When I couldn’t do it all I always found myself feeling guilty and depressed about not being able to do it all. Susan Carrell’s advice given in her latest book, “Escaping Toxic Guilt” has really helped me work through these guilty feelings. I now feel more at peace.
Thanks for this.
That was a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this with me today.
I really needed this quote today. Of course, we all try to find balance but I often feel like I’m falling short. A wonderful reminder of what is important!
Lucy, you are amazing. I love reading what you have to say. I know you have your things that you worry about but you are doing an amazing job. I look up to you so much.
That was an incredible post. Thank you for your thoughts; they mirrored some of mine this last month. I love it when someone else says what I’m feeling and puts it into words for me.
you are so right. and the guilt can be so crippling, preventing us from excelling in any area as we obsess about not excelling in all. i love that sister beck said that women who know do not TRY to choose it all, knowing that they cannot. we have to just focus on what is most important right now and let the other things go. it is so empowering to let go of guilt while still striving to do your best. i have been doing better at this in the past year, but i still catch the guilt creeping in where it has no business being. i am so far from perfect, but if i keep trying my best, heavenly father will make up the difference.
i’m so proud of you for seizing the moment to enjoy with your family. that is not my strength, although it is one of my goals. thanks for your example.
amen for letting go of guilt!
my gosh you are popular. look at all those comments.
Wow…..a great post! Love it.
I have been a bit behind on reading blogs, but this was a post I SO needed to hear. I struggle with the same things as you do (and I only have one child) in deciding that there are stages in life so it’s okay if I don’t volunteer to do this, or my house only gets cleaned once a month but my baby gets play time….. thanks for sharing some intimate thoughts. Love the pictures as well.
What a great reminder for us all.