Fog

Last week I felt like I was being smothered by a dense fog, both literally and figuratively.

Thankfully this week the skies seem a little clearer.  Some sun breaks have even been apparent.

So have circumstances changed?

No, not really.  Unless you count the fact that I am trying to adjust my attitude and outlook. I am trying to learn to fly better.

“The question still is: How well can you fly it when everything goes wrong? How well can you live when every test, every trial, every proof of your faithfulness is exacted of you?”   ~ Robert E. Wells

If I had attempted to write this post last week, many of you would have wondered who had hijacked my blog.  The plane I was flying last week crashed.  And it crashed hard.

I was tired of being Pollyanna.  I was tired of playing the glad game.  I was tired in general. Not being able to get more than a 3 hour stretch of sleep at any given time wreaks havoc on a person.

I was also tired of juggling too many plates.  So I let a lot of them temporarily fall while I retreated to my own inner world.

I cried. I prayed.  I felt angry and bitter and I didn’t let anyone into my thought processes for awhile.

But then I opened up a little and I vented to some good friends who listened well.  They reminded me I was not alone in my trials and they let me know it was OK to just let it all out.  It was OK to feel this way.  It was OK to grieve, for lack of a better word.  And soon the fog began to thin.

But where did all the fog roll in from?  A lot of it came from having a husband in school for nearly 11 years.  He will be finishing up his second Master’s degree next month … but this degree was supposed to be a Ph.D.  And it’s not. [Not because of any fault of his own.  The adviser he was working under left the University and consequently funding got cut.]

For the most part I have come to terms with that and I was ready to move on with my life.  I was ready to be done with school and ready to start a real job.  I was ready to have a real income.  I was ready to move, to physically move and change locations.  Even if we couldn’t get into our own house right away I was ready to move to a bigger place.  Our kids are desperate for more space in the house and for a backyard to play in. Nearly every day 3 year old Cory asks when he can have one.

But when is anything in life ever cut and dry?  Especially when it comes to Rudy and his schooling?

So here I was thinking we were going to completely close one chapter in our life …  schooling … and finally be able to start a new one.

But I was wrong.

Rudy will still get his degree next month, but instead of being able to move, we are staying in our tiny little 2 bedroom apartment.  We decided to take a job at the school he has been attending the last 5 years.  [In fact he just started part time this week.] It is a dream job for Rudy and it might open up a door for him to still get his doctorate in the next year or so, but the pay is pathetic.

And just last week we found out that the pay is going to be lower than we expected.  That in and of itself is what triggered the fog in my head to become so dense.  That is what caused many of the other plates I was precariously spinning to come crashing down.

But that is OK.  I am healing.  I am learning to “find joy in the journey – now.”

“Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us.

“Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.

“Some of you may be familiar with Thornton Wilder’s classic drama Our Town. If you are, you will remember the town of Grover’s Corners, where the story takes place. In the play Emily Webb dies in childbirth, and we read of the lonely grief of her young husband, George, left with their four-year-old son. Emily does not wish to rest in peace; she wants to experience again the joys of her life. She is granted the privilege of returning to earth and reliving her 12th birthday. At first it is exciting to be young again, but the excitement wears off quickly. The day holds no joy now that Emily knows what is in store for the future. It is unbearably painful to realize how unaware she had been of the meaning and wonder of life while she was alive. Before returning to her resting place, Emily laments, ‘Do . . . human beings ever realize life while they live it—every, every minute?’

“Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings.

“Said one well-known author:  ‘Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.’” ~ Thomas S. Monson

I am learning to choose how to focus on the abundance I have been given as opposed to what I think is missing from my life.  It is a humbling experience, but I hope to learn how to choose well.

I want to be happy. I want to be content.  I want to be free of anger and envy.  I want to be optimistic.  I want to dream.  I want to be proactive and realize my dreams.

And I will.

It might be slow going and I might occasionally fly my plane dangerously close to the jagged edge of mountain ranges at times, but I will keep flying.

The Lord has felt my pain.  All of it.  He will succor me.

In Latin succor means to run to the rescue, to bring aid.

And that He will do.

He will walk hand in hand with me as I journey through this life.

As I journey with joy … now.

****************************************

(This post has been entered into MamaBlogga’s Group Writing Project.)

Wishes of a Three Year Old Boy

While driving three year old Cory to preschool this morning through a dense fog [which is how I feel I have been living my life lately ... in a dense fog ... but that is for another post], he and I had an interesting conversation about his wishes.

Cory: “I wish I could go to China.”

Me: “You wish you could visit China?”

Cory: “Yeah. I wish I could have a house in China.”

Me: “You wish you could live in China?:

Cory: “Yeah.  I wish to do that.”

And as we continued driving, his wishing took a different course.  He started talking about trash trucks and “trash ladies” and “trash men.”  In other words, the people who drive the trash trucks.

Cory: “I wish I could have trash gloves.”

Me: “You want some trash gloves?”

Cory: “Yeah.  So I can pick up yucky trash.  With my trash gloves.”

Me: “So you can keep your hands clean?”

Cory:  “Yeah. I wish to do that.”

I wish life really could be this simple.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

In honor of Inauguration Day on January 20th,  I thought I would post this political piece.  Many of you have probably already read it, but I found it quite hilarious … and rather enlightening … so I thought I would share.

Enjoy the chuckles!

SARAH PALIN: Because it could see Russia from there.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
change!  The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about
me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

JOE BIDEN: I’m tired of walking on egg shells because of this chicken.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.  What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before
it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his
current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Did he cross it with a hare? Did he cross it with a bear? Did he check
if the road was hot? I kinda doubt it, I think not! Yes, the chicken
crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told. Just one more
thing I have to say, it’s been bugging me to this very day. If the
Chicken is a she, why do we keep saying HE?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008.
This new platform is much more stable and will never
cras#@&&%%……reboot

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Stride Rite: Natural Motion Early Walking Shoes

Life’s waiting.  Let’s go. I must say I love the Stride Rite motto.

I also love the Stride Rite brand.  It is a brand I have known forever.  It is a brand I can trust.  The quality of their products is superb and their customer service is exceptional.

I know some Stride Rite shoes can be a bit pricey, but I also know when you buy Stride Rite shoes you won’t be disappointed.  At least I never have.

My nearly 4 year old son doesn’t just have wide feet, but he has EXTRA wide feet.  Therefore, we always buy him Stride Rite shoes and they fit him perfectly.  And even though he is extremely rough on shoes … he is constantly running and playing and trekking through mud and dirt … his Stride Rite shoes have always held up well.

Because I adore my Stride Rite shoes, when the company recently contacted me to see if I wanted to try out some free shoes I instantly jumped at the opportunity.

Stride Rite just introduced a new line of children’s shoes, Natural Motion Early Walking Shoes (NMS).  These shoes are built with “technology for babies who are in early walking development.”

These shoes come with:

• Soft and supple leather
• Natural Motion System® (NMS) technology
• Oversized opening and slide-in back tab for easy-on and easy-off
• Deep flex grooves for maximum flexibility
• Natural leather linings for comfort and breathability
• Smooth outsole to upper transition
• Eco-friendly materials include recycled rubber outsole, natural stitching, and water-based inks for details and logo

I can’t wait for my little boy to grow into these.  I am thrilled they are durable enough to wear outside, yet flexible enough to allow a comfortable fit for a baby just learning to walk.

And you also can’t complain about how incredibly stylish they look!

These shoes come in a wide variety of colors and styles, both for baby girls and for baby boys.

Happy Shopping!

A Heartfelt Thank You

I just want to say …

THANK  YOU

to all those who humored me and left me a birthday comment.  (And if you didn’t leave a comment, feel free to still do so .)

You definitely made my day that much more special.  Thanks for helping me celebrate.

My Special Birthday Request

Yes, I have a request of YOU.  But we shall get to that in a moment.

Birthdays have a way of sneaking up on you.  Especially the older you get.

It’s really hard for me to grasp the concept that I am now 33.  I have lived on this earth for thirty three whole years.

Wow.  Sometimes I feel like I should be a lot further along in life than I am.

When I was a young child, there was a lady in my church who I considered old.  Not super old, but definitely older.  She fascinated me.  I always watched her like a hawk.  I had many opportunities to observe her because she was one of my leaders while I was in primary.

According to my innocent perception, this lady had a deep passion for life.  She seemed content. She seemed happy.  Life certainly was not easy on her, but that didn’t keep her from enjoying what she did have.

I remember every year she made a HUGE deal about her birthday.  She LOVED her birthday.  It made her feel special.  She loved feeling like a queen for the day.

Everyone knew she adored her birthday, so they always made sure to help her celebrate this yearly milestone.  They didn’t give her lots of presents or fancy things, but they gave of themselves and of their time.  This is all she wanted.

Why am I sharing this story with you?  Well, there are a couple of reasons.

First, I want to emulate this lady and learn how to live my life more contently.  Here are a few quotes that have been swirling around my head lately.   I know they will help me follow in her footsteps:

“This is our one and only chance at mortal life – here and now.  The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief.  Opportunities come, and then they are gone.  I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not.  I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do.  Instead, find joy in the journey - NOW.” ~ Thomas S. Monson

“The first thing we can learn to do is laugh.  Have you ever seen an angry driver, who, when someone else makes a mistake, reacts as though that person has insulted his honor, his family, his dog and his ancestors all the way back to Adam?  …

“I remember when one of our daughters went on a blind date.  She was all dressed up and waiting for her date to arrive when the doorbell rang.  In walked a man who seemed a little old, but she tried to be polite.  She introduced him to me and my wife and the other children; then she put on her coat and went out the door.  We watched as she got into the car, but the car didn’t move.  Eventually our daughter got out of the car and, red faced, ran back into the house.  The man that she thought was her blind date had actually come to pick up another of our daughters who had agreed to be a babysitter for him and his wife.

“We all had a good laugh over that.  In fact we couldn’t stop laughing … Now I realize that our daughter could have felt humiliated and embarrassed.  But she laughed with us, and as a result, we still laugh about it today.

“The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead.  It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.” ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

“Have you ever looked at one of those 16-foot farm gates? When it is opened, it swings very wide. The end at the hinges moves ever so slightly, while out at the perimeter the movement is great. It is the little things upon which life turns that make the big difference in our lives.” ~ Gordon B. Hinckley

“Come what may, and love it.” ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

And my second reason for sharing this story?  Yes, that is where my special birthday request comes in.

I want to know who reads my blog.

Every once  in awhile I am surprised when someone random I know refers to something I have said on my blog … and I had no idea they even knew it existed.

So pretty please, I want **YOU** to help me celebrate my birthday by leaving me a comment [or sending me an email if you don't want to blow your lurking status - anordinarymom (at) gmail (dot) com].  Just think how easy that will be for you to put a smile on my face!

I wish everyone lived close to me, because then I would just invite you all over for some yummy birthday cake.  Chocolate of course!

Six Months Old … So Sad He’s Sick

It’s hard to believe six months have passed since Eli was born.  I still think of him as my newborn, as my tiny little baby.  However, he is growing up fast and his little personality is emerging with each passing day.

He’s beginning to sprout teeth, though none have broken through yet.  He grabs at everything, especially any type of paper, and then he proceeds to put whatever he grabs into his mouth.

He laughs.  He lets us know when he doesn’t like something.  He puts his arms out when he wants to be picked up.  He sometimes gets mad when you leave him alone in a room.  He babbles.  He smiles.  He loves his older siblings.

He’s starting to eat solids, but I think he gets more food on himself than he does inside his body.  So far, he doesn’t like this whole eating thing which translates into frustration time for mommy.

I was hoping to take some cute pictures of him today to celebrate his 6 month milestone, but that probably won’t happen.

Instead he is sick and miserable.  He has been throwing up, sporting a fever, coughing horribly and oozing snot.  In just a little while we are off to see the doctor.  Hopefully he will get better soon.

And hopefully his older siblings will get better soon, too. I have had enough of kids being sick this Winter … and it is only the beginning of January?!

Here’s to hoping for an early spring.

Eli on his blessing day, December 21, 2008.

Eli hanging out with my dad, his Grandpa.

A Little Debbie Giveaway

While I am still attempting to navigate my re-entry process, I thought I would host a small giveaway.

The Little Debbie Company recently sent me a fun goody box full of a variety of 100 calorie snacks.  Yep, just what I need at the beginning of a new year, more sugar.  However, at least these treats satisfy my sweet craving while not adding tons of inches to my waistline.

By far my favorite goodies in the box are the Nutty Bar Singles and the Nutty Bar Peanut Butter Stix.  Unfortunately, these are also Cory’s favorite treats … hmm, maybe it is better if he eats them and not me.

Anyway, if you would like to win your own Little Debbie 100 Calorie Sampler Box (it comes with the 8 treats listed on their site), then simply leave a comment on this post before Saturday January 10th.

If you want to be entered into the  contest three times, then in your comment tell me about a New Year’s goal you have made.

I have three boxes to give away, but the goodies are only for U.S. residents.

I hope everyone is having a good start to 2009!

The Re-Entry Process

We are back in Western Washington.  Back to real Winter, not Winter Southern California style.  **Sigh.**

It’s now time to officially begin what I have dubbed the “re-entry process” – attempting to get back to a somewhat normal routine of daily life.  It typically takes a week or so.   I just can’t believe school starts up on Monday.  Yikes!

I wish there weren’t so many pressing things needing to get done.  Hopefully my headache and the nasty colds my kids just came down with yesterday go away soon.

At least I was able to sleep in this morning!

I hope everyone had a happy, healthy and safe holiday season. I have LOTS of blog reading to catch up on.

Happy New Year!