April 24, 2008...10:26 am
Woes of a Tired Mom
Last Saturday evening we finally bit the bullet and transfered Cory to his big boy bottom bunk bed.
The verdict? He is absolutely thrilled by his new personal space.
The problem? He more than glories in the new found freedom this bed provides.
The parents? We are just a tad bit frustrated, but we knew from the beginning this would be a long and tedious process.
Sleep deprivation when you are nearly 7 months pregnant is not a fun thing to endure. Your body is already utterly exhausted to begin with. The last few nights where I have only received three or so hours of sleep has been rough. During the day I feel like I am walking through a thick fog, and while driving around town I feel like I could just close my eyes and sleep at the wheel. Yeah, I know, not very safe. I knew to expect to be sleep deprived once the newborn arrived, but I wasn’t very prepared to hit this particular bump in the road a few months early.
I also know the problem is made worse because I feel out of balance in life. Late afternoons and early evenings tend to be my worst part of the day with the kids, the “witching hours” as I have dubbed them. Needless to say I always look forward to bedtime as it usually brings some much needed peace and quiet. However, this last week my evenings have been spent in the dark on the floor of the kids room as we try to sleep train our spirited 3 year old.
Each night is getting a little better … I use that term very loosely … but it is hard not to be able to unwind in the evening and to have my personal time. Having daily personal time I think is absolutely essential to the sanity of any mother.
I know that this, too, shall eventually pass and I know sometimes I can be hormonally irrational, but that doesn’t mean that this particular trial in life is going to be made any easier. I still need to get through it. I just keep praying to the Lord for the strength I need to survive each day so I can try to be a loving mother and wife.
And of course this situation has made me a little bit more apprehensive about what life is going to be like once this new one arrives in July. The transition from one to two children was doable for me because Keri has such an easy going disposition.
However, with Cory being so much more rambunctious and energetic, I am not quite sure what to expect in the transition from two to three. I welcome any advice you would like to kindly share!
40 Comments
April 24, 2008 at 11:21 am
I have no advice, just sympathy. I don’t envy you at all! Hope the transition eases a bit for you soon. Fingers crossed!
Good luck!
April 24, 2008 at 11:37 am
My advice? Duct Tape. Sorry, that’s the best I can do.
Good luck!
April 24, 2008 at 11:55 am
Oh, I feel for you. I truly do. I have recently been feeling that urge to sleep at the wheel and I think it is because it is one of the only times when I am sitting and the kids are all restrained and my brain feels free to relax and it is very scary. And sleeping on the floor while pregnant? Goodness. I should have brought you some cheesecake (before I ate it).
I wish I had helpful advice, but I don’t. All I can say is I know how you feel and you are not alone.
April 24, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Of course, I have not helpful advice either, but I do feel for you. Sleep deprivation is never good, but especially when pregnant. You could always resort to drugs. And I mean for the little one, not you.
April 24, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I remember being in your situation. I call it my walking zombie era. I was barely functioning and life was tough. The worse part for me was the guilt of not being able to do it all. I felt like I was letting my family down. It was awful.
So looking back here is my advice.
Order take-out, pizza, fast food, etc. So it’s not as good as home made. Your family will survive a few months just fine. And one less thing to worry about.
Hire house keepers. Can’t afford it? Call the young women’s pres. Girls are always looking for service projects and it is good for them to help someone out. And don’t clean the house before they get there. Ü
Get a babysitter so you can nap. There has got to be someone like me around you who doesn’t have little ones at home anymore and would love to have an afternoon play date!
Yes this will pass. It doesn’t help while you are in the middle of it. But I look at it as training. You are getting ready for the sleepless nights with teenagers. At least now you know where your kids are. Ü
Hang in there. And I my #3 is such a joy. Heavenly Father knew I needed a break and I was blessed.
April 24, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I have soooo been there. We tried to sleep train our son so he would be sleeping well when the baby was born. Except part of his training was getting him to sleep in his own bed without me lying next to him, and we didn’t want him in our bed either. Lying on the floor in the middle of the night at 8 months pregnant? Not cool. Hope you get some sleep soon.
April 24, 2008 at 1:34 pm
The advice I give to a mom going from two to three kids?
Do NOT expect too much of yourself, your kids or your husband the first year. Know that it’s going to be hard - if you didn’t think you had free time before…
Just ride out that first year. Do the best you can and don’t be hard on yourself. Let things slip and don’t feel bad about it. You have the rest of your life to clean house and be a nice mommy.
SLACK! You’re going to need lots of it!
April 24, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Huge, huge sympathies hun! I was petrified to go from one to two…nevermind three, but it turned out better than I thought, so I’m hoping it will next time too. ~hugs~
April 24, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I have no advice, just know you’ll make it through. Going from two to three was much easier for me than going from one to two. I hope it’s the same for you.
April 24, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I symphathize with you. I just had my third child 5 months ago —and sorry to say I am still a zombie.
My advice: Ask some friends and family for gift certificates for a day at the spa or babysitting so you can take a nap. I had a few ladies from church who would watch my girls for a few hours while I took a nap or ran an errand. This was truly helpful to me. They also brought meals and one lady came and cleaned my home for me (folded the laundry too)! As for you dear three year old —maybe Dad can sleep in the room at night (not you?). Though, I did like someone’s suggestion of duct tape. Ha ha.
Blessings,
Bella
April 24, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Thankfully I am not at the point where I have to sleep on the bedroom floor … and I hope I didn’t just curse myself for saying that. Right now all I do is sit on the floor (on a somewhat comfy pillow) while I train the little guy to go to sleep. When he does get up in the middle of the night I merely go back to his room and help him adjust. Part of that problem is once I am up it is hard for me to go back to sleep. And I am also lucky that my husband is a willing helper.
Thanks for all the advice and support, keep it coming
.
April 24, 2008 at 6:33 pm
“And I am also lucky that my husband is a willing helper.”
But, then again, she’s not so lucky that I can fall back to sleep within a matter of minutes while she is left to listen to me peacefully snooze. It makes it that much harder for her to get back to sleep.
April 24, 2008 at 7:07 pm
I am putting off my little guy’s transition from his crib as long as I possibly can. I figure until he tries to make a breakout, why push it!!!??
April 24, 2008 at 7:23 pm
oh how i remember those days.
don’t be scared of 3 - it is not as hard as it seems. i think it is because you already have 2 that are well ‘trained’ and so the third just follows the example. that’s how it was for me anyway.
at the same time - take the advice from Niki of allowing yourself some slack. your value as a wife and mother does not come from how perfect everything is or whether or not everything gets done all of the time.
AND ASK FOR HELP! you would help out anyone else in your situation and you deserve that kind of love too.
you probably already have one but a bed time routine is priceless and it should start way before you hit the bedroom. bath time, pj time, story time etc. we used to talk about bedtime and staying in bed during dinner each night….and perhaps a special bedtime blanket/stuffed animal can help?
he’ll get there eventually - hopefully sooner rather than later for you. *hugs* and lots of happy thoughts in the meantime. and YAY! for the helpful hubby :O)
April 24, 2008 at 7:27 pm
The first time we put Grace in a toddler bed she sat there and cried and cried for about two hours. She didn’t get off though so we thought all in all it was a successful transition
April 24, 2008 at 7:35 pm
I didn’t have this problem going to the big kid bed with my kids, but I did have to do the nighttime bedwetting alarm thing while 6 or 7 months pregnant. Yeah. No sleep is lots of fun. Everyone else has already given great advice, so nothing brilliant from here. Just hang in there. As they say, this too shall pass.
April 24, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Sleep is definitely a necessity to be able to function! Once Craig stopped taking a nap during the day he felt asleep almost the instant his head hit the pillow.
April 24, 2008 at 9:36 pm
i call evening the witching hours too. i have finally learned that that is the best time for my kids to have their “screen time,” while i make dinner and call a friend.
i dreaded my transition to three kids because i had a hard time transitioning after two, but the third was much easier. partly, he was an easy going baby and a good sleeper, which i don’t have to tell you helps immensely. but also, the third time around i had learned to expect that i’d have to put everything else in my life on hold for six weeks–that keeping everyone alive was my only job at first. i was also better at letting people help me. i definitely let my housekeeping slip with the third and it’s never quite been the same, but i think i just got some perspective as to what is more important. just don’t expect too much of yourself. and remember to take time to enjoy the baby’s newness. i think with my second i was so stressed about having two that i didn’t cherish our time together like i should have.
in terms of transitioning to a big kid bed, you might think we are beasts, but we turn the locks around on our kids doors. after they have been put to bed, we lock the door. when we go to bed, we unlock the door. we only have to do this for a few months before they have learned that it’s useless to get up and stop trying. but for a month or so, we find them asleep on the floor somewhere and move them back to bed. i know it sounds heartless, but it has worked for us like a charm. there is nothing more frustrating to me at the end of a long day than to coax a child to sleep. at their bedtime, i am ready for my down time.
sorry for such a long comment. sheesh, i’m a loudmouth.
April 24, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Thanks for your post! I can relate…it’s sometimes hard to get my teens in bed, and I do remember the times when they were youngters. I hope you are able to get the rest you and your new one need. You’re always in my thoughts.
April 25, 2008 at 4:14 am
sorry darlin’…no advice here, just well wishes!
hang in there.
April 25, 2008 at 5:10 am
I found our third child was by far the easiest - lovely easygoing personality, healthy, good sleeper. It was the older two who have been the most exhausting!
No advise from me either, just a warm cyberhug and some cyber chocolate
we all get through this time, maybe with a few more gray hairs and a nervous twitch but we’ll be ok!
April 25, 2008 at 6:43 am
Hey,
There is no such thing as an ordinary mom ! You’re doing a wonderful job and I wish you love, joy and energy in everything you do. I have only one daughter who is already a teenager but I believe parenting is one of the most underestimated things in life. Every mom and dad should be encouraged and respected for raising their children with love !
Good idea to look for help from others, we can do so much more together!
Karen
Take care,
Karen
April 25, 2008 at 8:06 am
Hang in there. I would suggest you don’t let his lack of sleeping ruin your sleep. Put him to bed, then if he gets up again, just say, “it’s bedtime”, then the next time, don’t say anything at all, just keep putting him back in bed. Hopefully you’ll only spend an hour doing this, and then he’ll stay in bed. At least that’s what supernanny does.
It will work out!
April 25, 2008 at 9:08 am
Hang in there! I so very well know how you feel. And just to warn you it does not get less busy with a third one. But for me, having the third really helped me settle into motherhood. I have always loved being a mom, but now I feel like I’m totally committed and enjoying my role as I should. And my husband and I are working together for our family better than we ever have. In his words: “We are outnumbered now so we have to stick together!”
That bed transition is H-A-R-D, but give it time, and stick with it, even when you want to cry with exhaustion. He’d get the hang of it soon!
April 25, 2008 at 9:12 am
Craziness is all I can say. My youngest was 18 months old when he learned how to get out of his crib. I dislike this transition.
Good luck with all of this. The greatest thing about life is that it all does eventually end, but sometimes even knowing that doesn’t help.
I don’t feel like I’m sounding very helpful because all of your current struggles are all things I’ve gone through before and I truly feel like you just have to muddle through them.
(I’m not saying anything at all about two to three. Just give it 6 or so months. That’s what my mom always said and that’s what I’ve also found to be true.)
April 25, 2008 at 10:43 am
I feel I am in the same situation as you are. My oldest is five and my three year old is very, very, very spirited… sweet as sugar but unmanageably spirited, and my baby is almost 9 weeks. I’m guessing your two kids share a room. That makes my advice tricky, but here it goes. Our girls shared a room until just recently. We would put my 3 year old to bed first and tell her if she would stay in bed we’d leave the door open. No matter how many times we’d close her door she just wouldn’t get it. So, I turned the lock around and told her to stay in bed and I’d unlock the door after she fell asleep. Of course, there is a night light on and she has her books to read. The first night or so she cried. Sometimes we’d find her asleep on the floor, but it has worked like a CHARM for us! Every night there is no discussion about it. No more “if you - then” deals. It’s stories, scriptures, prayers and “good night, I love you!” We lock the door. We did this sometimes with the older child locked in there, too, which she didn’t really mind because we’d done the same routine with her. Just be sure to tape the key to the door inside the room above the door frame or one day you could get locked in there. Not fun!
much love!
April 25, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Call Super Nanny? I never had this trouble when my children made the transition from crib to bed. I don’t know why we didn’t–I just put them to bed and expected them to remain there and they did. I remember I always maintained a pretty tight schedule for them. I had to have their naps and I had to have them in bed in the evening so that I could regroup.
I don’t know if you can put the crib back up in their bedroom for a time; then, the first time he pops out of his “freedom” bed, into the crib he goes for the rest of the night. I’m big on behavior modification through consequences.
Good luck and my prayers are with you.
Gloria
April 25, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I wish I had some advice but I find one taxing enough right now.
I wish you tons and luck and trust you’ll be fabulous!
April 25, 2008 at 3:25 pm
My kids were both out of cribs before 18 months. boohoo. They were big time climbers. And bedtime is always a challenge here. Keep being consistent. We have the sleeping fairy come bring little gifts when they stay in bed. Maybe that would work? And I do feel for ya!
I’m so scared for 3. But maybe I’ll have some advice for you once baby arrives anyday now. Hoping it will be easy peasy. haha.
April 25, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I’m so sorry! I put all my kids in beds before they turned two so I’m not sure how to do it with a (more stubbornd) three year old. My eight year old started waking us up at night though when she was about 4 and at the time the kids were earning tickets. If she slept all night in her room then she would get a ticket in the morning. If she came into our room and slept on the floor without waking us up then she didn’t get anything. If she woke us up then she would lose a ticket. In less than a week she was cured. Bribery can be a good thing sometimes.
I’m down to sleeping on the couch these days because the bed is too painful. Someday we will be sleeping again!!!
April 26, 2008 at 3:49 am
I have absolutely nothing useful to offer.
I have a 5 and a 7 year old and I still feel like I’m playing grownup.
I got lucky myself - my kids are so laid back, they never ONCE tried to climb out of their cribs. Even today, they lay in bed in the mornings and shout at the top of their lungs for us to come and walk them downstairs…
April 26, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I still fall apart if my kids are up too late (although that time has shifted from 8 to 9:00 now. My only advice (it worked for me with twin boys) is to have a bedtime routine. Ours was toothbrushing, family prayer, individual prayers, songs—maybe water. No story. That was for daylight hours. Then the light went off, and the boys didn’t have a nightlight. (They never had a nightlight and still go to sleep faster without lights. They’re 12.) They dropped off like a charm usually—they were too tired to do anything else. Even if they didn’t, they were not allowed out of bed. They faced dad if he was home or the wrath of mom if they did. I’m sure it didn’t work all the time, but it did enough. They talked often, but they played so hard during the day they usually fell asleep quickly. They were 2 1/2 and I was pregnant when we took them out of their cribs.
One more thing: set his bedtime at a time that you aren’t already exhausted. My boys went down at 7 and 7:30 often. I did not teach them to tell time for a long time!!!
April 26, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Black lining on his bedroom shades help if it isn’t dark outside at his bedtime.
April 26, 2008 at 6:15 pm
I always am way nervous before I have babies, afraid to think what life will be like after. My #3 baby was my easiest by far (#2 wasn’t easy) and it was a good time in my life, I think for a reason. I was able to cuddle and rock and relax, especially at night with Dad after the other 2 were asleep (very important for mom’s sanity). I hope it will be for you, too. Btw, do you know what you’re having? As for the transition to crib, I’m going to be in the same boat as you in a couple months. Don’t know how it’ll go.
April 27, 2008 at 10:23 am
Kudos for being a good mom. My advice for you, is to to think that your role as a mother is not a “RESPONSIBILITY” but a “PRIVILEGE”. Don’t think that you OUGHT TO take care of them, instead think that you GET TO take care of them.
from: CREATIVE THOUGHTS: http://irishblanca.blogspot.com/
April 27, 2008 at 10:35 am
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April 27, 2008 at 2:17 pm
No advice, but lots and lots of sympathy! That’s rough at any time, but while you’re pregnant? Wow… hang in there, Lucy!
April 29, 2008 at 4:07 am
I wish I had some helpful advice, but I just don’t. All the best to you, and I hope you find a way to get some rest.
April 29, 2008 at 2:47 pm
My advice would be to delegate… to your husband! LOL! I’m sure he’s already helping, but you sleeping on the floor doesn’t strike me as a good idea. (Unless your son really wants Mommy nearby… that I understand very well!)
My other advice would then be to pray, pray, pray… that it will pass very quickly! (((hugs))) There are some real rough spots in motherhood, huh?
April 30, 2008 at 10:04 am
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