March 10, 2008...10:11 pm
Dissertation Woes
As many of you know, my husband and I have been married for nearly 10 years. Of those 10 years, he has been in school the entire time.
Honestly, this doesn’t bother me at all. I have always been 110% supportive of him getting all the education he needs. Currently he is in graduate school pursuing his doctorate degree in bioengineering.
However, by this time next year we are hoping that miraculously he will have earned his PhD and he will have a job lined up that he enjoys. But who knows what path God is going to direct us down. Right now we are just attempting to survive the next two weeks.
Before Rudy can successfully write and defend his dissertation, he needs to first pass a general exam. And in order to even take the general exam, he has to set up the date for that exam the quarter before he plans on taking it. Which means that by the end of this week he needs to somehow finish developing the mathematical equations he needs so he can finalize everything else before the quarter ends in a mere two weeks.
And if all the pieces of the puzzle don’t fall into place, then what? Do we take a leave of absence? Does he completely change courses to pursue a second Master’s? But what about his goal of teaching and doing research at a University? And at some point we need to move out of our teeny 2 bedroom, 800 square foot apartment, especially since a new little one will be joining us in the middle of July.
Can you feel our stress?!?!
We both feel completely overwhelmed, but we are trying to have faith and to remember that the reason we are even in graduate school is because we strongly felt like this was the path we were supposed to pursue.
I know I need to take a deep breath and remain prayerful and calm.
“Be still and know that I am God.” ~ D&C 101:16
35 Comments
March 10, 2008 at 10:25 pm
I am blog hopping and found you, a fellow LDS blogger. How fun, I want to wish you luck with your schooling and job finding.
Hugs….
March 10, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I’m so sorry about the stress! I guess the plus side is that it will all be over in two weeks whether you like it or not! Just breath deeply until then.
March 10, 2008 at 11:38 pm
oh yes i remember this stress all too well…hang in there and that is the PERFECT scripture to help see you through. sending good relaxing thoughts your way!!
March 10, 2008 at 11:49 pm
We’re praying and pulling for you.
March 11, 2008 at 5:10 am
Looks like we’re feeling some of the same anxieties right now.
March 11, 2008 at 7:14 am
It’s always scary when you are standing on the brink not knowing yet which direction your life will take but knowing that it will come soon. Good luck, breathe deep, it’ll be over soon.
We lived in an 800 sq foot house with four kiddos. It can be done!
March 11, 2008 at 7:54 am
I hope everything works out in time! Good luck! I feel for you! I hate not knowing the future…
March 11, 2008 at 8:22 am
Yikes! God bless you for being such a wonderful, supporting woman to your dear husband.
March 11, 2008 at 8:36 am
I can so relate to this one. My husband & I met in grad school & have been married a little over 9 yrs. Never thought he would still be in school this long. His original plans were to become a ministry. Along the way my husband started teaching at a Christian high school while going to school in the afternoons and at night. It was during this time he realized his calling was to teach in a Christian college. So we moved cross country to so he could pursue his PhD in History. Forunately, his quals were done earlier in the program and he is now ABD. Not sure if he will have funding for next year. but hopefully, by next year he will be close to finishing.
March 11, 2008 at 9:05 am
Wow. That *is* a lot of stress!”
This verse came to mind:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Sounds so simple…and I suppose it’s simple, but in a way very challenging to actually hear His voice in this noisy, chaotic, sped-up, stressful world in order to receive His leading.
My sister-in-law just got her PhD, and she will be the major breadwinner for her family. Things have opened up here and there miraculously that have been a perfect fit. Not that she hasn’t felt the stress. But she has prayed and asked God to direct her. I hope that you experience the same clear leading.
Your faith is so earnest that I have no doubt that you will see the next step you need to take.
In the meantime…take a deep breath…and you may learn more the average wife and mom what it means at a practical level to walk by faith!
March 11, 2008 at 9:23 am
Grad school…AUGH! We are doing it too, and its crazy stressful. Paul is in finals right now and its nuts. I hate when comps roll around. I hate even thinking about dissertations (I’ve been proofreading final papers all weekend, oy!). But it will be good to get it over with once and for all.
March 11, 2008 at 10:03 am
Oh hun, the stress! The stress!!
I will be there in April. And we will have much fun and reflect on how well everything turned out. ~hugs~
March 11, 2008 at 11:07 am
I’m sending all the good mathematical vibes I can muster your way. Good luck!!
March 11, 2008 at 11:12 am
At least we both are not in grad school right now.
March 11, 2008 at 11:36 am
i remember how stressed out i was as my husband neared the end of grad school and we didn’t know where we’d be going next or where our money would be coming from. the Lord loves to teach us faith and patience by having some unknowns out there. just keep plugging away and being prayerful and He will guide you. even if things don’t turn out the way that you plan, you’ll know that they turned out according to His plan.
March 11, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I hear ya! And I understand the stress. My husband went through this just three years ago, when he finished his dissertation and earned that Ph.D. Good luck to all of you. It’s so wonderful when it’s all done.
March 11, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I guess you just have to be as supportive as possible, so that you can help ease his stress any that you can, and you just trust in the Lord that it will work out.
March 11, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Good luck! Remember “And it came to pass…..” not to stay! My dad’s favorite line and usually appropo!
March 11, 2008 at 3:37 pm
comedian/Singer Mark Lowry has an entire routine about “and it came to pass”
March 11, 2008 at 3:37 pm
That is seriously my favorite scripture. It’s good for EVERY situation we can possibly go through here on earth. Just remember how it’s all worked out in the past…why not now? I tend to get in the way of the blessings waiting for me! Good luck! Do you mind if I add you to our blog? I havent’ met that many LDS bloggers…except in my own ward! (Janice!)
March 11, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Oh…how I feel what you are saying! We’ve only been married about 6 1/2 years but for most of the time, my husband has been in school (bachelors then masters, now doctorate!). It’s so hard to not know the end from the beginning! Hang in there and know that we’re praying for you!
March 11, 2008 at 6:34 pm
As I remember the stress surrounding my husband finishing up school, and trying to find a job, and expecting another baby, and trying to find a bigger place to live, and feeling powerless to help my heart goes out to you. I found a lot of comfort in the scriptures at that time too. It turned out easier to have faith than to worry (though it took me awhile to do so). Hang in there and I will be praying for you and Rudy.
March 11, 2008 at 7:44 pm
I’m working on my thesis right now, so I understand the dissertation woes a little bit. Good luck with everything!
March 11, 2008 at 9:55 pm
We are all praying for all of you!
March 12, 2008 at 7:24 am
Isn’t it interested the path life takes us on!? I too am coming up on my 10 yr anniversary and my husband was supposed to be a dentist. Wow, life didn’t take us that way. After 2 kids and his career changes and a job loss last year (only 4 months after I quit my career to stay home), I decided the best thing I can do is support my husband. We pray together and attend the temple together. Life is crazy, but somehow if you keep a positive attitude as much as you can, it will work out . And the cool part is that it will work out better than you would have planned for yourself. Your Lord knows you and is mindful of you! I KNOW this to be true.
March 12, 2008 at 9:01 am
My husband just started work on his Masters degree. It has been an adjustment for both of us. He did not finish his undergrad until we had been married for 3 years but we did not have kids back then. It is a totally differant situation now. I am just taking it a day or week at a time. If I think too much about the three years ahead of us I get too stressed out. I know this is what we want and it will pay off in the long run but some days can be pretty stressful. Especailly when I have not seen my husband awake for almost 48 hours!
March 12, 2008 at 1:50 pm
That does sound stressful but it also sounds like your husband is a brillant man - good luck to you both. I’m new to your blog BTW - hi!
March 13, 2008 at 4:30 am
My friend has been in the same boat - her hubby has been in school to become an endodentist their entire marriage. He just graduated and moved to Houston. Within a couple of months, he found a practice to buy and he is well on his way.
Stressful, yes! But so many blessings as well!
March 13, 2008 at 11:25 am
hopefully you wont be too stressed out for too long.
March 13, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I love the scripture you quoted from D&C. You guys are doing everything right, the Lord will not abandon you. It’s hard to escape the feeling of stress, though. Hang in there!
March 13, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Amen, girl! Be still and wait (and the rest). I think we let FEAR get in the way - way too much. False Evidence Appearing Real. Most of the time, the things that we FEAR never ever come to pass. Trust and know God is going to see you through.
I admire how supportive you are of your husband. I always have been - it is so important to me!
Sandy
March 13, 2008 at 10:00 pm
[...] Recipes Dissertation Woes [...]
March 18, 2008 at 11:27 am
I’m feeling the stress!
800 square feet? Holy cow. I felt squinched when we had about twice that much space and the fourth one on the way.
It’ll all work out; I’m sure of it!
March 19, 2008 at 6:50 am
My sister & her husband are going through the same thing. Matt is currently getting his PhD in microbiology but is still writing his final paper. He was able to secure a job at the university so he is able to earn money while finishing his paper (which i am sure is prolonging the completion of the final paper). However, they were finally able to settle down & buy a house since they now have two incomes. I definitely think it must have been tough for them to live on one income (at least it would be tough for me to deal with). But now, they have their house & there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
April 23, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Found your website while trying to search people in similar conditions as my friends who have been writing their dissertations. I completed mine a few months back, and it was a nightmare.
Check my blog for my experience.
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