“The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities needs to be closely regulated. Otherwise, children will be over-scheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated. Parents should act to preserve time for family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth.” ~ Dallin H. Oaks
More often than not, by the time my early evening witching hour ensues and Rudy gets home from a long day at school, I don’t want to do anything except escape my mothering duties and go hide in my bedroom. There are always plenty of things I can find to do in that relatively quiet space – read, blog, nap, pay bills, etc.
However, I have found if I don’t emerge from my self-imposed exile quickly enough, I set the stage for a not-so-pleasant bed time routine. Because I am busy doing other things, I start getting the kids ready for bed late and I then end up in that dreaded hurry mode. That is exactly what I have been trying to avoid these last few months.
Luckily I have a remarkable husband who is very kind and supportive. Several nights a week he will get the kids completely ready for bed. However, when this happens, I find I miss out on some quality family bonding time that can take place as we settle down for the night – chatting with the kids about their day, snuggling and reading stories and scriptures and just spending relaxed down time with each other.
In this particular case, I need to stop over-scheduling myself with unnecessary tasks during the hour or so before the kids go to bed. That is going to be my new habit.
I am the first to admit, though, I am not aiming to do this every night. After all, I still need to preserve my sanity 
.
************************************************
If you want to learn how to smartly save money, associations, resources and time in your own life, then visit Lara The Lazy Organizer.
Good one! I need to do the same. I need to get the dishes done quickly, while the kids are in the bath, instead of doing it during their post bathtime playtime/storytime.
What a tricky balance. It’s something I am having a hard time balancing–kid time, me time, etc. Let me know when you have it all figured out… in the meantime, keep the inspiration coming!
I have been asked “how do you do it?”, having four girls. That is how I do it. I must have some downtime, some quiet. My younger two go to bed at 8:00, with the time change. My older two an hour or so later. I love that time when the house is silent, and it is just me and my husband. My girls are old enough now to wake up and fix breakfast, and will make the younger two breakfast on Saturday mornings! SWEET. I can stay in my room, and hide;)
I agree with your wanting to be a part of their bed time routine. I also agree you should keep a couple of nights simply yours:)
Oh, I thought I was the only one ducking out of the bedtime routine to regroup myself! And it is such a sweet, sweet time (ok, on good nights)…I remind myself it’s good for “all the boys” to have time together too–baths are splashier, play more raucous, but it’s also the time my oldest is chattiest and I need to be there to hear him too.
Thanks for the reminder. Good luck!
Well said!! This is something I definitely need to work on myself… finding that balance between “me time” and “family time.” Another thing is to keep those “unnecessary” tasks from cluttering my mind when I’m spending time with the kids… thinking, “oh, I should be doing this or this or that,” instead I should just enjoy the “now moments.”
You’re going to be so proud of me. Tonight I tucked the kids in bed early and was in bed myself by 9:00! Now I’m turning off the laptop and going to sleep!
I loved the Dallin H. Oaks quote. I am a frequent offender of hiding out, and find I have to be very delibrate about just putting everything else aside and spending time with my kids. I have really been working on this and feel like everyone is happier when we spend time playing games or reading together. We play a game called high/low often times at dinner. Everyone says the high and low of their day, it really gets the kids talking and is surprising at times what they say. Thanks for another reminder of what is most important to me.
i love our time as a family when it’s time for bed. prayers, goodnight snuggles and kisses, talk of tomorrow and what the day may bring and then a tuck in tight with “i love yous” lingering in the air. it is 100% my favorite time of day. the close of kid time and the beginning of honey time…perfect!
I love this quote by Dallin H Oaks! I try hard to make at least a bit of the day mom and Roo time but it is hard, so I really try hard to make bedtime our time, with it being just the 2 of us it is easier to do though.
I enjoyed this article and I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s all about QT. Kids are busy with soccer, basketball, baseball, music lessons, video games and camp, not to mention school. Parents are overburdened at work and equally busy on weekends trying to hold lives together. QT—quality time—with children seems to be catch-as-catch-can. And pretty soon months have rushed by without the family having fun together. Thanks for a great article. http://blog.going2oahu.com
I have a hard time not checking out just as soon as my hubby checks in. Part of me wants to say, “I did it all day long, now it’s YOUR TURN.” But that isn’t what being a family is all about. And motherhood isn’t a 9-5 job. Though, it is nice to get a break now and then. I am taking babysteps into this as well. Reading with the boys right after they brush their teeth has made a huge difference. I’m even getting in a story with Sweet Terror every now and then while the boys brush teeth. Good luck. Let us know what ends up working for you.
Thanks for contributing this post to this week’s Carnival of Family Life which I am hosting! It is a valuable addition to the Carnival.
Have you considered hosting the Carnival one week?
Blessings to you and yours this Thanksgiving weekend.
Pingback: Carnival of Family Life | On the Horizon