The Challenges of Infertility

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By nature I tend to be a proactive person. Normally if there is something bothering me or causing me a lot of stress, I like to try to do what I can to find a solution to the problem. However, not all of life’s dilemmas can be tackled with this approach, especially when it comes to infertility. In this case there is absolutely nothing that can cure the heartache of knowing what you want, but no matter how hard you try to reach it, it still alludes you.

In August when I went to a doctor’s appointment at a Women’s Health and REI Clinic, I was sorely disappointed when I was told by the doctor, whom I really like, that I had already exhausted all the conceiving tricks she had up her sleeve. Granted there is still in vitro fertilization and artificial insemination, but both of those options cost a considerable amount of money … especially for poor college students. It is also hard to know if this is the route to go for us since getting pregnant is only half my battle. The other half is trying to figure out how to keep my body pregnant once it does successfully get to this point. Five miscarriages later and we are still at it.

Now please don’t get me wrong. Even though I still desperately want another newborn babe to cradle in my arms (I don’t feel like our family is quite complete) at least I feel abundantly blessed and watched over by our loving Heavenly Father. After all, He has already sent me two miraculous little ones. I do not take them for granted. I know it was a combination of medical technology and prescriptions (Clomid, Prometrium and Heparin/Lovenox shots), understanding the unique way my body works and divine intervention that got these two precious souls safely to our home.

One book that has been a huge help in my attempt to bear children is “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” written by Toni Weschler. It is phenomenal … and it’s not just for women looking to get pregnant. It also contains a lot of other information on how and why a woman’s body works the way it does. There is more to making a baby than just having s*ex. You need to know when you ovulate and this book easily explains how to get the timing right – understanding your cervical fluid and your basal body temperature are crucial components.

I know the information this book gives is relevant and useful, especially since most of the couples who I have lent this book to, couples who were battling their own infertility issues, were able to conceive once they had a better grasp of how things worked. I just wish it were this easy for all of us. Sure knowledge is helpful, but sometimes that doesn’t always produce the desired results. That is when it will be by faith that you are made whole.

I am deeply grateful for my faith in God because there are many days where I don’t feel like I can endure any more grief and heartache that comes from traveling the infertility road. On these occasions I know without a doubt that the Lord is lending me His strength, in fact I know He is holding me up by His “omnipotent and righteous hand” as I attempt to learn to overcome the trials He has lovingly given me. He also sends me packets of spiritual sunshine and peace; He always seems to know when I need them the most.

Above all I am grateful for the knowledge that some day all the pain and suffering I have endured will be made right. That is the glory and glad tidings of the Atonement. That is what is meant when it says in the scriptures, “beauty for ashes.”

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For more information on infertility, please visit Morning Glory and Lei who graciously host Woman to Woman.

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Filed under Gratitude, Health Issues, Infertility/Miscarriages, Me, WFMW, Woman to Woman