Works-For-Me: Keeping Your Marriage Alive

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“Marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing.” ~ Dallin H. Oaks

May 16th is the day my husband and I will be celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary. Our marriage has been absolutely wonderful, but that definitely doesn’t mean we haven’t had some bumps and bruises along the way. Marriage is hard work. It isn’t some fairy tale life where, since you are madly in love with each other, every conversation flows perfectly, no harsh words are ever exchanged and life is as rosy as could be. That type of world simply does not exist, except maybe in Hollywood movies.

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean things are always going to be easy and you are going to agree about everything. And just because your marriage might be in a rough patch, doesn’t mean you don’t love each other anymore and therefore you need to give up.

Marriage is a life long commitment and it requires patience, sacrifice, respect, good and open communication, compromise, endless love, forgiveness, giving each other the benefit of the doubt, loyalty, kindness and trust. Does this mean that marriage is a ball and chain relationship? No. Does this mean you have to give up your personal identity when you get married? Not in the least bit. Marriage has the opportunity to bring you some of the sweetest and most cherished moments in your life if you nurture it and treat it right. You will never feel alone because you will always have your soul mate to turn to and you will also find yourself, as an individual, constantly growing and progressing.

So how do you keep your marriage alive? You need to constantly be enriching it so it doesn’t feel like it is in name only. Here are some ways that have helped us:

• Set aside undivided time each day to chat. Make sure it is a time where you aren’t interrupted by children, television, work, etc. Make sure to listen.
• Enjoy a weekly date, even if it is a free date night at home after kids are asleep.
• Talk about and set goals together. Don’t just make couple goals, but also make family goals and individual goals.
• Be financially together.
• Speak each other’s love language. Make sure you know how your spouse feels loved. “Do unto your spouse as they want you to do unto them.”
• Remember intimacy is important.
• Keep the romance alive. Make sure each other knows your marriage relationship is your number one priority. Leave each other love notes, spontaneously do kind things for each other, hold hands while taking a walk and the list can go on and on.
• If you are religious, say prayers and read your scriptures together.

Enriching my marriage works for me. For more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas, please visit Shannon of Rocks In My Dryer.

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