I recently went to a “Children’s Storybook” baby shower where 
the hostess had us write down the best mommying advice we had to offer. What would you write? And even if you aren’t a mom yet, you have a mom so what did you learn from her or what do you wish she would have done for you 
?
To help get your mind going, here are a couple of examples from some of the daughters of the mom’s who were at the gathering:
“Once a year make sure you let us have whatever we want for dinner. Even if it’s ice cream.”
“Make more family traditions so when I have to write about them in school I have something to say.”
So, what are your words of wisdom? Any product you can’t live without? Anything you wish you would have known before you had the baby? Any secrets you have discovered?
Please share and discuss away!
I think I have great parents (and I don’t think I’m TOO biased). One of the things that really made us close as a family is having dinner together. I think my entire family of 8 had dinner together at least 5 days a week my entire life in my parent’s house. Also, my dad had every one of us talk about our day at the dinner table so there was a reason for us to be there. Even with sports, music lessons, extracurricular activities, and church, we still ate together. I’m a huge supporter of family dinners.
I agree 100% with Family Dinners. I just love that time of day when we are all together and talking to each other without TV and other distractions. My advice would be to always make time to do something fun together as a family. We love to go to a local trail for a bike ride and picnic. We all have great memories of those and will continue to make more of those. We also enjoy going to the Zoo, aquarium, local amusement and water parks. But you don’t have to spend a lot of money, if any, to enjoy spending time together. Just going outside to fly kites or blow bubbles makes great memories and is so much fun for kids and adults. And, for me one of the hardest things to do is say Yes more often. I’m always saying No ~ we can’t do this or that or we don’t have time right now, etc. I would say to try and say Yes more often which is something I’m working on. It’s not always feasible, but even if you set aside some time you know you can fit those things into-it would be worth it. And, one more thing, always let your children know just how much you love them!!!
My kids are now 20, 18 and 16. The best advice I can give is ALWAYS take time to listen. Listen to anything and everything they want to tell you. At times it was a little tedious when I had so much to do. Thankfully my kids still know that they can come talk to me about anything and in fact they each can’t wait to tell me all about their day when they get home in the afternoon!
Plus make sure you set aside one evening for family night. Whether you have dinner together or play games or watch a movie that night is set aside just for the family only!
Tricky question…I usually write something along the lines of “Be Gentle with yourself…” You will mess things up some days. You will lose your temper and scream your head off. Your house will look like a tornado went through it and you won’t be able to remember when you last had a shower.
Put yourself on your priority list, and everything else will fall into place. A sane and happy mommy, is a good mommy.
Use praising and encouraging words WAY MORE OFTEN than you use criticizing words. Now I have to say, there’s nothing wrong with using constructive criticism. Some moms I have known tend to take the “no criticism” thing too far and end up constantly babying their children. Those children are often whiny and self-centered. However, do try to be as uplifting as you can. This gives kids confidence, trust, and happiness.
I heard once, (in counseling as a matter of fact) is that for every negative comment you say, make sure you say seven positives. That’s hard to live up to, but it’s good advice. My thought is, and I got it from don’t sweat the small stuff, “Seek First to Understand.” It’s a very powerful thought. I could probably do a huge blog on it myself, but it works. When I try to understand where my kids are coming from, I am more successful at parenting. (Works with hubby’s too.)
My motto is to remember that my children aren’t my own, they belong to themselves and I’m just here to guide them along. That inspires me to try to give them the best I possibly can because it makes me realize the importance of the life I’m holding in my hands.
The advice that I am working on right now is to CHILL OUT!! I am trying to sit back and enjoy the journey of small children before they aren’t small anymore. My mom always says “Motherhood is a series of interruptions.” I have to say that being interrupted is a major pet peeve of mine, so I have a lot to work on…
Oh gosh I can think of so many… one that stands out in my mind is to stop what you are doing for your chidlren. If they come to you, stop what you are doing and be there for them, even if it is jsut an acknowledging hug. All too often I think “there will be another moment and I really need to get this done”.
When you are having an awful time with your child. Just think about how you would feel is something (as in death)happened, and that may help to change your point of view. Children are not always easy to take care of.
I love the “be gentle with yourself” advice. Also, learn to love spontaneity and stop hurrying. Kids are miserable hurrying, and there is so much more joy if you just stop the rush and look at sticks and rocks and mud puddles with them sometimes!
I would agree whole heartedly with all of these suggestions. Mostly, I have just learned that all of these these you hear over and over from mothers who have already raised their children are repeated so often for very good reason. It’s hard to have the perspective to really “Get It” when you are first beginning the journey into Motherhood, but there IS A REASON they say “don’t worry if your house is dirty. Give them hugs ESPECIALLY when they least deserve it. Trust them to fail. (This is the best teacher for them, even if you think it makes YOU look bad as a parent.) And ‘No one ever looked back on their life and wished they’d worked more.” This is true EVEN for SAHM’s! When they talk, look them in the eye. And even when they get too old to reciprocate the words, tell them you love them. They act embarrassed because they have too. But really they still need to hear it. I’m 36 and I still NEED to hear from my parents!
These are all amazing words of wisdom! Keep them flowing, this is great!
OK, so I’m not a mother (yet!) but I had some friends whose parents’ always always always pulled them out of school on thier birthday, took them to breakfast, and spent the entire day with them. They had four kids and so they did this four times a year. (but the kids of course only did it once a year.) I always thought that was SO amazing and they really loved it.
MEAL TIMES TOGETHER! Statics show that families who have meals together, the kids have far less chance of giving in to peer pressure and doing drugs.
We make our meals fun, with lively conversation. Very important time for our family.
See my latest post … alfresco dining
My one piece of advice is to stop doing for your children. Teach them to do it themselves…as they grow old enough to handle certain responsiblities and privileges. My oldest is 20 now, and she still cannot GET HERSELF UP IN THE MORNING!! And that is just for starters…
My middle daughter’s proudest moment was when she saved up enough to buy her own pair of ridiculousy expensive tennis shoes…and now she’s addicted to saving for what she wants, and no longer just expects mom and dad to fork out the dough!
Hope you get what I’m saying…
Love to a child is spelled T-I-M-E!!! I never see Gwendolyn happier than when I’m playing with her instead of letting her play by herself. They so badly want someone to love them. They crave that love! I say love first, and the rest should fall into place somehow!
Treat your child like the individual he/she is. I had all these expectations of how I would parent. They all went out the window once my son was about 3 years old and started showing HIS personality. I think the most important thing I did for him was to adjust my thoughts about parenting and parent to HIS needs and not my preconceptions about how I should parent.
My best advice.. Always say your sorry … when you truly are!!Cause us moms are not perfect ( wink wink) and always kiss your hubby in front of you kids to show them what it’s like to have a great marriage… even when the little ones says “ewwwww” behind a thousand giggles!!!
Hmmm . . . best parenting advice? Well, I guess I would have to go with the words I repeat in my head as mantra almost every day: “This, too, shall pass.” It has come to mean so much to me. This episode of all night vomitting will pass; these endless nights of no-sleep will pass; this mountainous pile of diapers will pass. But you know what else will pass? The spontaneous “I love you” for no reason; the snuggling on the bed; the sweet baby morning breath – someday, and before we know it – our kids will be grown and doing their own things. Treasure these times, ponder them in your heart, but know that all the harried, exhaustive days will pass.
Oh, yeah – and teach your kids to do their own laundry! It will serve them well, and, if you are raising a boy, it will go a long way to making their wives happier
1) Don’t get a diaper genie! (Yuck!)
2) Read to your kids everyday.
3) Remember…they are only in our house for about 18 years. 18 years of our life out of hopefully 80. You can have a perfectly clean house after they leave…play with them now while they want to play with you!
My visiting teachee does a cool thing with her kids called a “fair fight.” If the child has something to discuss or confess or they realize that they are about to get in trouble for something they can ask for a fair fight which means they can make any confession or whatever and be able to give a full explanation and their parents have to listen completely and with an open mind and can’t just freak out and fly off the handle. This makes it much easier for their kids to come to them with things that they would otherwise being lying about or handling on their own, and even though I don’t have children yet I am pretty sure that I will want my children to be able to talk to me about ANYTHING and would rather hear that they’ve done something that’s difficult to handle then them having to handle it alone or lie to me about it.
I’m digging the “fair fight” concept. My oldest always has an explanation for every situation, and I’ve snapped “I don’t want to hear it” more times than I can count. Maybe this would work a little better for us.
I think my advice would be (and someone prolly aready said it, but I didn’t read other comments so I don’t know) DO NOT let them run your life!! I’m trying to get my son out of this and it’s HARD!!
I LOVE all these comments! There I quite a few that I wrote down to start doing myself.
My advice is be very careful what labels you give, or allow your children to have. I thought giving labels like “the smart one” and “the artist” were encouraging labels to give. I have found I was wrong. Now instead of saying my daughter is smart I say “She loves to learn” so now she can allow herself to enjoy things that she may not be “smart” in. We stopped calling our son the artist and started saying “He works hard at what he does” so now he takes pride in doing his math and cleaning his room. Don’t give labels that imply a finished state of being or they stop progressing, instead tell others that you child is doing exactly what you want them to do, so they will try to become that person. (example: if your child is getting sassy, tell people that he is your gentleman and he tries to use good manners. He will start to do just that so he can live up to your high opinion). Sadly, I had to learn this the hard way =( But I learned it =)