Sunday Sundries: The Lesson of the Little Red Shirt

**A few months ago I was asked to speak in our Church on the topic “Each of Us As A Gift.” Here is an excerpt from my talk that I would like to share.**

There have been many times in my life when I have struggled over and over again with feelings of inadequacy and of unworthiness. I seem too often to feel like I am falling short, that I am not being a good enough mother or wife and that I am not as good as those around me. I find myself too often comparing myself to others and feeling like I don’t measure up. When I am having these thoughts, though, I am not doing what God wants me to do. I am not cultivating the special God-given talents that I uniquely possess. When I dwell on these negative thoughts, I am viewing myself the devil’s way. This is not the way Christ wants me to envision myself. So how do I change this attitude? I think the answer to this question is probably slightly different for each one of us, but a recent life experience I have had has helped imprint in my heart the beautiful and simplistic doctrine of I am a child of God. I would like to share this experience with you to see if it might help you understand that you, too, are a well-loved and cherished child of our Heavenly Father. I call this experience “The Lesson of the Little Red Shirt.”

Not too long ago I woke up to my alarm clock on a dreary and rainy Saturday morning. I needed to get my lazy rear out of bed so I could get us all ready to go to our friend’s house who lived about 90 minutes away. We were heading over there for the day to help their daughter celebrate her 4^th birthday. However, before the morning even dawned I was already not wanting to make this outing because the past few days had been kind of rough. Not only had life been super chaotic, but I had also been battling some feelings of inadequacy and I had been feeling kind of alone in life. The only thing that sounded really good to me was staying in my nice warm bed and sleeping for as long as I wanted to.

Begrudgingly, I got up anyway, and set about getting everything ready for our mini trip. As I was laying out Cory’s clothes for the day on the bed, I realized that the shirt that matched the pair of pants I had gotten out was missing. No big deal, I thought, it is probably still in the dryer since I had never gotten around to folding the most recent load of laundry. I then proceeded to the dryer to get his shirt only to realize that the shirt was not there. Okay, still not a big deal. I probably just overlooked it in his shirt drawer. So, I went back to his dresser to look for his shirt. It still wasn’t there.

At this point I was starting to get slightly irritated. I should have just chosen a new shirt and moved on with my morning, but I was determined to find this missing shirt. Why? I don’t know, but I was. So, I started looking through Keri’s closet to see if Rudy had accidentally hung it up with her things. Nope, it wasn’t there. I then started to look through all of her drawers thinking that this bright ruby-red shirt shouldn’t be that difficult to find. Still, no shirt. I then went back to Cory’s dresser thinking it might have gotten put away in the wrong drawer. I looked through all of his drawers and still I didn’t find it. By this point I was getting really frustrated and everyone in my family could tell I was starting to get quite upset. Once again I should have chosen a new shirt and moved on with life, but by now I was on a mission and I wasn’t about to give up. I am not a quitter.

To try and change the outcome of our day, I decided to say a quick prayer to ask Heavenly Father to help me find this shirt I was so obsessed with. Thinking that my prayer would easily be answered, I looked through all of Cory’s dresser drawers again. I suppose I thought it might just magically appear. Still, no sign of the shirt. By this point Rudy could tell that I was going to tear the house apart until I found this shirt, so being the kind and supportive husband that he is even when his wife is acting incredibly crazy, he started to help me look. I went through Keri’s closet again. I searched through the clean clothes in the dryer, again. I went through my clothes and Rudy’s clothes. I searched through our stacks of towels in the bathroom. I went through 4 different bins of toys and clothes that had been out over the past week looking for this silly shirt. Did I find it? No, I didn’t. I even looked behind the couch, and through the dirty clothes. I looked in every nook and cranny of our teeny apartment and I still couldn’t find this shirt.

Now by this point I knew I should really just get over it, get a different shirt out, so we could be on our way. Cory certainly didn’t care about what shirt he wore, so why should I? But I didn’t let it go. Instead I decided to say another prayer asking Heavenly Father to pretty please help me find the shirt. By this point I was so utterly frustrated and angry that I no longer wanted to go to our friend’s house. I started to think in my head that maybe we weren’t supposed to go, that something might happen to us on our drive over, and therefore that is why I couldn’t find this shirt that was now tormenting my mind.

After the prayer I tried to relax and calm down, but that wasn’t going to happen, I had already worked myself up into a frenzy. Instead, I searched the whole house again. I tried to replay in my mind where I had last seen the shirt to see if that would help me find it. However, I couldn’t remember a single detail, which is very unlike me. I normally remember everything. After all Rudy and I joke that I have a filing cabinet for a brain. But, I had no clue when the last time he wore this shirt was. I even went to look at the calendar hanging on our wall to see if that would help jog my memory in any way.

After 45 minutes of fruitlessly searching for this red shirt and after a few more prayers had been uttered, I had had it. I had reached the end of the end of my rope. I finally gave up, and promptly announced that we weren’t going anywhere. Keri then burst into tears because she really wanted to go see her friend. This in turn made me even madder and I just couldn’t take it anymore so I went to my room and loudly slammed the door and threw myself down on our bed. By this point I was so confused. Why did I care so much about this shirt? Why couldn’t I just be like any other normal human being and simply choose another shirt and be done with it? I had worked myself up so much that I really felt like maybe we weren’t supposed to take this trip. I just layed on the bed for a little while and stared at the ceiling contemplating the craziness of this morning. I then decided to say one last and final prayer. This time, a bit more humbly, I got down on my knees and asked Heavenly Father to either help me find this shirt or to help me not care about the fact that this favorite shirt of mine for Cory was gone. I even explained in my prayer that I was confused about whether or not we should still make this trip. Were we not supposed to go? Was I getting a prompting I just wasn’t recognizing?

I took a little longer to say this prayer than the other prayers I had said that morning and I remained on my knees a little longer just thinking and pondering. I then got up off my knees and the thought that immediately entered my mind as I was standing up was, “Haircut.” I could then see in my head little reddish-blonde Cory hairs that were stuck to the back of this missing shirt. I swiftly opened up our bedroom door and practically sprinted to the other room where Rudy was and said, “Haircut.” He turned and looked at me with a gleam in his eye. It suddenly dawned on both of us what had happened. Quickly I ran over to our sliding glass door that leads out to our balcony. I opened it up and dashed outside in the pouring rain and looked over the ledge. There was my precious red shirt lying in the rain sopping wet, right next to the garbage dumpster, completely untouched except for the moisture from Mother Nature. Apparently it had been there for 5 days and I never even thought of it once. Rudy had even seen it a few days before when he had taken the trash out, but it didn’t connect in his mind that this was the shirt I was looking for. What had happened was after we had trimmed Cory’s hair earlier in the week, we had balled up the sheet we had cut it on, with his shirt in it, and Rudy then took the sheet outside to shake all the hair off. The rest is history.

Rudy immediately scurried downstairs to rescue this little shirt that had caused us so much grief that morning. By then I was deliriously happy and I proclaimed that we were still going to go to the birthday party and we better hurry up and get ready. I no longer had any reservations about whether or not we should go.

So what are the lessons that I learned from this shirt? They are manifold. I learned that the Lord cares about me, and about each of you, enough to answer our prayers … all of our prayers. It might not seem like our prayers are answered until the fourth or fifth watch has gone by, but they are answered on His timetable, which is always what is best for us. I also learned that if something is important to me, then it is also important to my Heavenly Father and Savior, no matter how small or insignificant the thing might seem. And above all I learned the lesson that the Lord knows each and every one of us by name and that He loves us dearly. He protects us and saves us, just like he protected and saved my little red shirt for nearly a week. He also knows and cares about every single detail that occurs in our life. He holds us all in the palm of His hand and He is continually watching over the welfare of our soul, just like I watched out for the welfare of this seemingly insignificant shirt. He could have prompted Rudy earlier in the week to pick up the shirt when he saw it lying on the ground as he was taking the trash out, but the Lord didn’t do that. Instead He took this opportunity to teach me a powerful lesson, a lesson He knew I needed to learn. A lesson I am grateful to have had.

I would like to challenge all of us to take a moment and ponder in our hearts and minds what it truly means to be a child of our loving Heavenly Father. Think about how He personally manifests His love to you. Come to truly understand the phrase, “each of us as a gift.” Engrain it in your heart so you can remember to be kind to yourself and to those around you. Teach your children and those you love that they are precious in the sight of the Lord. And when life gets you down, remember that you are of worth, that someone loves you and that you have remarkable God-given talents. Some people might be blessed with more visible talents and others might have quieter talents like Martha did in the story of Mary and Martha and Jesus, but the Lord did not neglect a single one of us when He sent us here to this earth to gain a body and experience so that one day we could return to Him. Allow Him to love you, let Him in. Accept His gift and let yourself be encircled in His arms forever.